AV Busters!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
AV Busters!
just some random ideas I pulled out of a thread search - thanks to all these members, and to the countless more who've spoken on or about the AV and how to recognise it and defeat it.
D
if you want to go hardcore on the av, rational recovery is the method that talks about the av and avrt (addictive voice recognition technique).
I recommend you visit the secular connections forum if you want to find out more about that approach.
For myself i just didn't engage with that voice - it had nothing good to tell me. I thought of it as a petulant toddler - it would kick and scream for a while, but it will always eventually drop off to 'sleep'
it has no arms or legs - it needs me to get what it wants - if i refuse to cooperate, it's left out in the cold.
The less i engaged with it the weaker it got.
There are some really good tips here for cravings. I recommend urge surfing
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
...there's no need to hope you're stronger - you are
the av has no arms or legs - it needs you to get on board to get what it wants.
Say no.
revel in saying no.
You've got this
d
I'll leave this last one anonymous.
D
Originally Posted by dwtbd 
through the lens of avrt( great threads here on sr in the secular recovery forum) sensing /'having' av is no impediment to your ability to abstain. You could 'have' av for the rest of your life and still be able to live comfortably , for the rest of your life, abstaining.
All it takes is to make the decision to quit and make it 'all the way down', pledge to yourself that you will never drink again , anything ( thought or feeling or doubt in your ability to hold yourself to that pledge) that contradicts that pledge is av, and therefore totally ignorable
av is also the idea that 'having' av is somehow a sign that future drinking is inevitable. 'having' av isn't a problem if you make the decision and pledge to yourself to never change your mind , your pledge will actually highlight and isolate the 'otherness' , not "me"-ness of av. If you make a pledge to yourself to never drink again and thoughts of future , more booze percolate to the surface, they can't be coming from you, because your decision is you, the idea of going against the pledge has to be coming from not you , but from it.
It has no arms or legs, it can't buy alcohol , it needs you to get some for it. It has to convince you the idea for more booze is your idea, which it isn't because of the decision you made.
The plan you decided on ( the big plan in avrt) is never again, any notion of more can't be coming from you, the plan itself allows us to identify av.
Identify it, separate from it and ignore it, it is not you, you have decided to become , once again, the teetotaler you were born. It can pound sand, you don't drink , yeah ?
It can be annoying but like a tantrum throwing child , it can't get what it wants unless you decide to act for it. And like a spoiled whining child the more it gets ignored the less the whining becomes, the more you get accustom to it and the less noticeable it becomes.
Make the decision to quit for good, once and for all, and the idea for more can't be you , having or hearing av isn't what 'makes' you have more booze. It needs you think that is the case, it needs you to get more, but you are done, too bad for it
All it takes is to make the decision to quit and make it 'all the way down', pledge to yourself that you will never drink again , anything ( thought or feeling or doubt in your ability to hold yourself to that pledge) that contradicts that pledge is av, and therefore totally ignorable
av is also the idea that 'having' av is somehow a sign that future drinking is inevitable. 'having' av isn't a problem if you make the decision and pledge to yourself to never change your mind , your pledge will actually highlight and isolate the 'otherness' , not "me"-ness of av. If you make a pledge to yourself to never drink again and thoughts of future , more booze percolate to the surface, they can't be coming from you, because your decision is you, the idea of going against the pledge has to be coming from not you , but from it.
It has no arms or legs, it can't buy alcohol , it needs you to get some for it. It has to convince you the idea for more booze is your idea, which it isn't because of the decision you made.
The plan you decided on ( the big plan in avrt) is never again, any notion of more can't be coming from you, the plan itself allows us to identify av.
Identify it, separate from it and ignore it, it is not you, you have decided to become , once again, the teetotaler you were born. It can pound sand, you don't drink , yeah ?
It can be annoying but like a tantrum throwing child , it can't get what it wants unless you decide to act for it. And like a spoiled whining child the more it gets ignored the less the whining becomes, the more you get accustom to it and the less noticeable it becomes.
Make the decision to quit for good, once and for all, and the idea for more can't be you , having or hearing av isn't what 'makes' you have more booze. It needs you think that is the case, it needs you to get more, but you are done, too bad for it
Originally Posted by dee74
if you want to go hardcore on the av, rational recovery is the method that talks about the av and avrt (addictive voice recognition technique).
I recommend you visit the secular connections forum if you want to find out more about that approach.
For myself i just didn't engage with that voice - it had nothing good to tell me. I thought of it as a petulant toddler - it would kick and scream for a while, but it will always eventually drop off to 'sleep'
it has no arms or legs - it needs me to get what it wants - if i refuse to cooperate, it's left out in the cold.
The less i engaged with it the weaker it got.
There are some really good tips here for cravings. I recommend urge surfing
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
...there's no need to hope you're stronger - you are
the av has no arms or legs - it needs you to get on board to get what it wants.
Say no.
revel in saying no.
You've got this
d
Originally Posted by gilmer
i did stuff. Any stuff. Just to while away the time.
I read and posted on here a whole lot. I learned attitudes, techniques, good ways to reason with myself, and found a lot of support, warmth, and good humor.
Plus, being able to offer others help in turn really blesses me. When i see that something i say really encourages someone, it makes me thankful. It makes me grateful to be alive.
I read and posted on here a whole lot. I learned attitudes, techniques, good ways to reason with myself, and found a lot of support, warmth, and good humor.
Plus, being able to offer others help in turn really blesses me. When i see that something i say really encourages someone, it makes me thankful. It makes me grateful to be alive.
Originally Posted by herculana
ive been saying this to myself (or the universe, or god, whatever it is)
turn up the volume of the spiritual voice
turn down the volume of the addicted voice.
Allow me to learn which is which, so that i may never mistake the two.
Thats it.
turn up the volume of the spiritual voice
turn down the volume of the addicted voice.
Allow me to learn which is which, so that i may never mistake the two.
Thats it.
Originally Posted by august252015
like others said, you can do this! And definitely make plans - even if they are sort of "non plans" like do the laundry, watch xyz yet again on netflix, read, go for a walk, anything that takes up your attention for increments at a time til the day is done, then the next....
Irl support is crucial to me and i started aa when i quit drinking. At first, meetings were something i just did, and the whole process of getting to one, sitting in one and getting home took up a decent chunk of time per outing. Naps were (still are, honestly!) big for me. Reading when i could start to concentrate....
Make the plan not to drink, and start learning ways to make that happen - stick with us!
Irl support is crucial to me and i started aa when i quit drinking. At first, meetings were something i just did, and the whole process of getting to one, sitting in one and getting home took up a decent chunk of time per outing. Naps were (still are, honestly!) big for me. Reading when i could start to concentrate....
Make the plan not to drink, and start learning ways to make that happen - stick with us!
Originally Posted by zerothehero
it took awhile, but when that voice tries its trickery, i can honestly respond that i am happier and enjoying life much more sober than during my last years of drinking. I have to remember that when i drank i felt worse physically, and i was mostly just sticking my head in the sand. Do i miss that initial buzz after a couple of drinks? Sometimes. But it's a trade off, and truth be told, that buzz is nothing special. Besides, if i could stop at one or two consistently i wouldn't have quit drinking in the first place.
Originally Posted by nonsensical
in this community it is harder to find people it doesn't happen to.
In 25+ years that voice has not told me one true thing. It's all been lies. I stopped taking advice about things that are important to me from a known liar. I highly recommend it.
In 25+ years that voice has not told me one true thing. It's all been lies. I stopped taking advice about things that are important to me from a known liar. I highly recommend it.
Originally Posted by calicofish
i love lists and so i thought i'd make one about the lies my addictive voice (av) told me:
- you've worked so hard, you deserve a drink
- people are mean, so i need a drink
- you've been sober for (insert time frame) you can handle it now
- what will people think if you don't drink
- you can quit anytime
- everybody drinks
- you don't get as drunk as so and so
- my dog died - let's remember her with a drink
- a drink will help me sleep
- you are much more fun when you drink
- it's my birthday
- it's a holiday
- it's the weekend
- the big game is on
- it's a celebration
- you can quit tomorrow
i don't listen to my addictive voice anymore. It is on mute.
- you've worked so hard, you deserve a drink
- people are mean, so i need a drink
- you've been sober for (insert time frame) you can handle it now
- what will people think if you don't drink
- you can quit anytime
- everybody drinks
- you don't get as drunk as so and so
- my dog died - let's remember her with a drink
- a drink will help me sleep
- you are much more fun when you drink
- it's my birthday
- it's a holiday
- it's the weekend
- the big game is on
- it's a celebration
- you can quit tomorrow
i don't listen to my addictive voice anymore. It is on mute.
Originally Posted by freshstart57
my av added a few dandies:
*you can't quit drinking, who are you kidding. And if you could, you certainly can't do it know.
*it's genetic, look at your family. No wonder you drink!
*you have an incurable disease, and you are going to relapse over and over. Better to just keep drinking and save all that anguish.
*you will never do this on your own.
*you will always be an alcoholic, always in danger of 'falling off the wagon'.
*you are a worthless pos and a fraud. There is really nothing left for you but drinking to blackout. How about now?
All of these were scams to keep me drinking. By identifying them as av, i could dismiss them. And choose to be sober for good.
*you can't quit drinking, who are you kidding. And if you could, you certainly can't do it know.
*it's genetic, look at your family. No wonder you drink!
*you have an incurable disease, and you are going to relapse over and over. Better to just keep drinking and save all that anguish.
*you will never do this on your own.
*you will always be an alcoholic, always in danger of 'falling off the wagon'.
*you are a worthless pos and a fraud. There is really nothing left for you but drinking to blackout. How about now?
All of these were scams to keep me drinking. By identifying them as av, i could dismiss them. And choose to be sober for good.
Originally Posted by palmersage
the biggest mistake i made with my av is engaging with it ....my av would "suggest" a drink as a fine idea, and rather than firmly shutting it down, i would follow it down the path of romanticizing drinking. I have to shut it down at the first whisper.
Originally Posted by purpleknight
my mind tries to convince me of that from time to time, but why would the results be any different to the last time i drank? How does abstinence now allow me to control alcohol? When i break it all down in my mind, it's a load of nonsense!!
I have no more control over alcohol now than when i was drinking, so the solution is to not allow alcohol back into my life, it makes sense to me!!
I have no more control over alcohol now than when i was drinking, so the solution is to not allow alcohol back into my life, it makes sense to me!!
don’t do it. Don’t give in to that voice
so i had 29 days 18 hours and i picked up a drink. It is now
19 days later and i am still drinking. I don’t know if this post will help
anyone out there who is entertaining the idea of picking up a drink
but that is my wish. Don’t do it. It is not worth it. Protect your sober time
with all your might and knowledge. Being an active user sucks.
so i had 29 days 18 hours and i picked up a drink. It is now
19 days later and i am still drinking. I don’t know if this post will help
anyone out there who is entertaining the idea of picking up a drink
but that is my wish. Don’t do it. It is not worth it. Protect your sober time
with all your might and knowledge. Being an active user sucks.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: here & there
Posts: 268
The thought came to me recently that the AV wants me all to itself. It isn't going to share me with partners, friends, no one else. I'm not to have time for them, no outsiders will be tolerated. It has to be just us.
And this is how its been for a very long time now.
And this is how its been for a very long time now.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
If theres a common thread here, it's that it needn't be that way for a moment longer if you don't want it to be sodasoba.
You've gotten out before - you can do so again - and this time stay out
D
You've gotten out before - you can do so again - and this time stay out
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
For me, it took a long time to accept that I can never drink again because for whatever reason, I cannot contol my drinking once started.
My AV depends on achohol for its survival and so will say or do anything to get me to drink. Same way my lungs will do anything to get me to breath because they need air. My personal OP is that my AV really thinks it is acting in my best interest because for my AV its survial is my survival and vice versa.
But I know better. My addiction and its voice are not like my lungs. I do not need alcohol to survive, quite the contrary. Lungs a different story.
So I consider my AV to be part of me, the same way my inner 2 year old is a part of me. I deal with them both about the same -- the more time I spend engaging the less time I spend living and no matter what, never act on my AV even if my A$$ falls off.
I think for me on some level the idea that I am defective in the sense that I cannot drink is hard to accept in my emotional core becuase for so long drinking was an intergal part of me. But its like being diabetic, some of us just are or become that way. Not good or bad, just is.
And above all else, never forget that abstinence is not control ala Dee.
Another great thread Dee.
My AV depends on achohol for its survival and so will say or do anything to get me to drink. Same way my lungs will do anything to get me to breath because they need air. My personal OP is that my AV really thinks it is acting in my best interest because for my AV its survial is my survival and vice versa.
But I know better. My addiction and its voice are not like my lungs. I do not need alcohol to survive, quite the contrary. Lungs a different story.
So I consider my AV to be part of me, the same way my inner 2 year old is a part of me. I deal with them both about the same -- the more time I spend engaging the less time I spend living and no matter what, never act on my AV even if my A$$ falls off.
I think for me on some level the idea that I am defective in the sense that I cannot drink is hard to accept in my emotional core becuase for so long drinking was an intergal part of me. But its like being diabetic, some of us just are or become that way. Not good or bad, just is.
And above all else, never forget that abstinence is not control ala Dee.
Another great thread Dee.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Thank you Dee. I struggled for two decades with drinking. I stopped drinking when I stopped listening to my AV, for two and a half years. I then drank again because I listened to my AV, which said I could have a couple of drinks for a couple of nights. My AV is a liar. Those couple of drinks escalated until they almost killed me. So glad to be here on SR and dismissing the AV once again.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
For me it was Depression and Doubt that I slipped into, thinking I'd never amount to anything, wasn't worth the effort, might as well drink to numb the feelings.
I stopped listening to those thoughts and replaced them with positive thoughts.
My AV is not a separate entity, it's a part of me that I had to learn to ignore.
I stopped listening to those thoughts and replaced them with positive thoughts.
My AV is not a separate entity, it's a part of me that I had to learn to ignore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
I figured out what AV stands for, but had no idea it had anything to do with RR. I just discovered RR today and realized that it aligns almost perfectly with the way I think about my drinking and recovery. I've been speaking and writing about both using the RR outline, yet didn't realize I was until today. Go figure.
Thanks for your post.
Thanks for your post.
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