MaximusD

I feel like one thing is for sure. I never stop quitting. It is not even an option to drink for me. I just have trouble making it stick. Last quit was a little over 60 days and now I have been on and off binging since May 31st. Broke the binge and am here now just going into day 2. Hangover is just getting better and I can eat. This cycle is crazy to me and you read about it over and over on here for just about everyone. Question is, when do we have our bottom before we stop? I still have family, job etc but family aint to happy right now. Looking forward to participating in here again and making my recovery a priority.

Orchid1

I feel you brother, the yo-yo is exhausting but I know it's a good thing we keep trying again. Someone here told me it's like a baby learning to walk falling down till eventually they walk! Just try to figure out what triggers it, for a long time I though it was external thing like time of day, weather e.t.c but I have come to realize it was a mix of habit and practically 0 coping skills to even the tiniest bit of anxiety. Find yours😊

One day at a time!

biminiblue

You stop when you stop.

I didn't have any big drama happen. I just stopped. You'll know - everything you do will support a permanent quit when you're serious about it.

Anyone can do it.

Dee74

Welcome back

to me hitting bottom need not be an event - it's a decision...a decision that I can't live that life one more second.
Back up that decision with action

D

Verdantia

Hi Maximus--It's good that you have the desire to get sober, and your bottom is whatever you think it is. You don't have to get to the point of losing everything, or be out on the streets like a stereotypical wino--it is when your life gets too intolerable to accept it anymore. It is much better to quit before you lose it all! It sounds like you have a lot of reasons to live for--don't wait until you start losing them. Wishing you all the best on your sober journey--I hope you stick around and keep posting.

Bubovski

I endured the pits when it came to bottoms, though I suppose things can always get worse.
When I opted for 'moderate drinking' I had reasonable success.
Still, I was far from contented with old abuse still a very real possibility.
As I see it now and given this horrendous down side I see total abstinence
as my only option.

MaximusD

Thank you for the comments. They all help. Glad to get through today. Woke up hungover and now going to be with it pretty much gone. Only up from here.

Buttery

I thought I hit rock bottom numerous times. It wasn’t until something good and really worth it came along and made me want to change.
don’t give up, you never know when the time will come and you just don’t want to try drinking again. I don’t even know how many times I tried before it finally worked out

brighterday1234

It takes what it takes. Acceptance of ones alcoholism and what that entails in terms of recovery is essential in my experience.

D122y

My last bottom was a pancreatic type thing. My guts were slowly degenerating.

Gross.

I am pretty sure my brain was doing the same.

I had symptoms for decades, but they finally got bad and lasted long enough, to the extent that I still have some, that I got scared straight.

Some people get too many DUI's, some pass out in a fire, some hit their kid, some lose their job, some get super sick...etc. Other can't quit and die or even commit suicide.

Eventually we all quit. Hopefully, it is is before it takes too many good years away. Living life as a drunk sucks.

I was wrong thinking I could have my cake. Many a rock star thought they could party like a rock star and drugs took them. Elvis, Petty, Prince, Hendrix, Joplin...

Some made it out with some obvious permanent damage. Slash, Duff, Walsh. I feel like ther are some telltale signs of damage from drug (alcohol) abuse.

Some seem to have made it out with less or little damage. Axle Rose, Steven Tyler, Jagger, Elton John, Knoxville, SteveO....

They are celebrities, but they are only human. Great examples I use to keep me clean.

I stay this clean by any means.

Hope this helps.

Thanks.

Sammy1980

The first three months before I finally quit, every time I drank I would not give myself permission to continue the next day.
I would not drink for 4 days and then on the 5th day drink like a fish. I would tell myself the day after drinking that drinking was not an option and then not drink for a few days again. One day I stopped and that was a gift handed me and I will ever let it go.
I was not a binge drinker I was a daily drinker.
You can do this.

shakeel

I can see, from your signature, that you are using AVRT. I keep on recognizing the addictive voice all day long, every time the thought of drinking or anything even closely related to it comes to mind, I say to myself verbatim "A.V." and disregard it.
I also go to AA now and then, counseling, mindfulness and lots of reading and reaching out.
I keep a very close eye on what my brain is thinking. It helps me shut down any irrational thoughts or negative reinforcements or past events dwelling...ect and get back to the present moment.

FreeOwl

What helped me become sober and escape the addiction to alcohol was to QUIT QUITTING.

And instead of 'Quitting' - to start living. To start embracing sobriety. To start ensuring that my life was in balance. To start finding alternative ways to feed my addictive patterns with healthy new patterns. To channel my addiction into positive things.

Quitting never ever worked for me. SO eventually, I had to quit quitting and start starting.

sugarbear1

We start getting sick and tired of being sick and tired. Then something might click. My alcoholism wants me dead; I'm doing what I can not to drink daily *which isn't that difficult now (I used the 12 steps after everything else failed).

You can do this!!!!!

Gabe1980

I am not sure what the bottom is but I know for me I couldn't do that cycle of relapse and all the pain and self-disgust that came with it. Three years of trying and failing was enough. I just want my life now and for my life not to be about drinking/craving/recovering and fear. You can do it and I agree that it is internal, figuring out how you work and the part that alcohol has played is vital to that. I am finally figuring out who I really am. Its both terrifying and exciting!

wiscsober

Many times it's a mental and spiritual shift to wanting to quit ... and physically when the dragon disease takes a step off ... and we eat and sleep ... and make that call for help

Orchid1

How are you doing today Max?

MaximusD

Doing good, you? Just ate a good breakfast but amazing that now almost 2 days down I can still feel some of the after affects of the last binge. As I was mentioning in another thread I used the app "Calm" last night that helped me sleep. This might be my new thing as it keeps my mind from wandering and keeps me in the present. I highly recommend it. It is a sort of meditation app but you just have to lay there and listen and fall asleep. Free through Kaiser but there have got to be other apps that are free just by themselves.

Orchid1

Looks like that app is really helping you, good! My sleeping wows were more in the nightmares department and it originally being to hot to fall asleep, but should I develop a tough time falling asleep I'll be sure to look it up!

Congrats on day 2, sorry you're still feeling out of it.

MaximusD

Its okay. It will all pass.