Callas

I met a colleague and friend yesterday for lunch that I have not seen in 20 years. We were both young professionals at the same firm in “the big city” all those years ago. The ethos at the firm was typical of the time, work hard, play hard which translated into drink hard.

He already had an expensive sauvignon blanc open when I arrived at the restaurant. I mumbled some excuse of having to drive and ordered a sparkling water. It was pretty ****. He finished the bottle in no time and I again made up some excuse of having a meeting to go to.

To be honest, there are times when not drinking sucks.

trailmix

Sorry, I know this is off topic - but he drank a whole bottle of wine at lunch? Did you find that odd?

Dee74

Hi Callas

I'm with trailmix - once I would have done what he did and carried the drinking on into the night.

If he's a drinker like you and I, he probably didn't wake up feeling too great today.

If there's one thing I think we all need to do its to find our joy.

For us, I really believe that discovery can only be made within a sober life. That the only way I know how to live as the real me.

There's a great deal to celebrate and be thankful and grateful for in an authentic life, well lived

D

MythOfSisyphus

Hahaha! Back when I drank that wouldn't have been odd at all! "Just one bottle, I have to go back to work!"

Good for you, Callas! It will get easier as time goes on to just flat out say you no longer drink. It's a big deal but you don't need to make a big deal out of it (if that makes sense).

Hodd

nightshade131

I used to do a bottle of wine a night easily, but at a lunch I would be needing a nap afterwards

doggonecarl

What would have drinking brought to the meeting with your friend that wasn't present with you being sober?

Callas

Doggonecarl: simple answer. Fun.

Callas

Trailmix, in my drinking days a bottle of wine at lunch was not strange, it was a starter.

faith823

Good for you for protecting your sobriety and waking up Sober today.
I have a question for you. How does that make you feel today this very moment?

I can so relate to your post. Fun. A bottle full of wine can be the epitome of fun for me. I think at this point I would experience a range of emotions after the initial fun. First being not giving a care and then drinking more and more to cover up those emotions.

I am so happy to hear that you stayed sober. It is tough in certain situations but it is such an investment to ourselves in the long run.

Thank you for posting

doggonecarl

A simple answer, and an honest answer. But not a good answer...not from a recovery standpoint. Not good that you see a friend you haven't seen in 20 years and it wasn't fun. Cause you couldn't drink.

There is always the danger of equating "fun" with drinking. Maybe twenty years ago, it would have been. Not today. Which you are aware of, because you did the right thing and didn't drink. Good on you. You won part of the battle.

I hope you've put those romanticizing thoughts of wine to bed. That's the other battle.

Hodd

Epictetus

You hang out with your wife's friends Hodd! I bet Callas's friend doesn't think that's normal!! It's all perspective really! The guy has his life and I'm sure as an adult he knows what he is doing and what he wants!

Callas, how did you end up catching up after 20 years of not seeing each other?

Are you debating your decision to remain alcohol free?

Life still devoid of fun or passion?

nez

I am enjoying the freedom of not having to drink a bottle a bottle of wine at lunch, to not have fun with the freedom of sobriety.

I can go back to the fun of drinking at any time. It is all there just waiting for me to return. It is always an option available to me at any time. When I was drinking, not drinking was not an option available to me. I enjoy having options, to me that is fun.

Years ago my idea of fun was a distorted definition spoon fed to me by alcohol. Today I have a much more clear definition that comes from my soul.

brighterday1234

Callas

I gave up drinking because I started getting withdrawal symptoms from the time I woke up until that first drink after work. That was horrible. If not for that I would not have stopped. So I guess withdrawal saved me. The truth is I simply do not enjoy small talk and chit chat sober. I take full blame for that. But that is my reality.

biminiblue

Here's another take. I don't enjoy small talk and chit chat with people who are drinking. After the second one they are not very nice and they lose sight of polite personal boundaries.

Did your friend start asking personal questions that made you uncomfortable about halfway through the visit? Or did he get repetitive, overly friendly, too sensitive or argumentative? I find that to be, "Time to go," and unfortunately those things tend to happen every time I try to spend any time with people who are drinking. I just don't do it anymore. Not one on one.

I'm with Carl, I hope you can stop thinking of sobriety as a punishment, I find it a huge blessing.

nez

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

LunaBlue

Callas

Thanks Lunablue. All my friends drink. Just about all social occasions involve alcohol. I say no a lot.