BackandScared

I know the single word answer is never. I have been a non-smoker for years who relapsed and just quit 3 + weeks ago again. However, there was that moment, around the 4 months mark when I knew I was not going to smoke. Basically, the cravings were gone, the smell did not wake up anything in my brain and all my senses. I had become a non-smoker (which I totally destroyed after drinking too much with a smoker & deciding one was not going to hurt)

Is there such a moment with drinking? If yes (I really hope someone says yes) when did it happen?

I am very early days (74 days) and I am not struggling particularly with cravings. Still, 'not drinking' occupies a ridiculous amount of my space in my mind. Does it stop?

Pouncer

This is a great question. Like you pointed out, I think relaxing about alcohol has always preceded a relapse. Maybe that is the secret to staying sober for good? Not relaxing about alcohol?

DreamCatcher17

The morning I woke up from my last drink I decided I was done drinking. And that was it.
GOD literally pulled all notions of alcohol out of me.

Mummyto2

lessgravity

I don't know if "relaxing" about not drinking is something I can relate to. I feel sure and calm in my knowledge I am not going to drink again. But eternal vigilance is the price of freedom.

C0ntr0ls

I think I'm on day 76 and don't really think much about drinking but the thought of relapse does pop into my head every now and again and that scares the hell out of me.It scares me because I 'm tasting the sober life and it taste good.

Now if at some point in time, I could work on these damn cigs but one addiction at a time.

january161992

Great job on 74 days!

I don't think like that.

It really is ODAAT One Day At A Time.

I just follow direction.

BackandScared

hmmm..
Not sure I should have asked!Except for Controls who suggests I might be two days away from Nirvana... Are you all telling me, one way or another, that months/years after you stopped you still wake up thinking about not drinking and go to bed with the same last thought?

I understand I will always have to be vigilant since alcohol will always be around and a single drink will take me back to horror day zero. I had the hope that, at some point, I would have days without thinking about the beast.

Callas

Yes I’m afraid that all evidence point to the fact that alcoholics may be in recovery but never rid of the disease. I suppose it is much like any other disease, being in remission is just infinitely better than having the full blown thing. And yes, that means one will think about it a lot.

ScottFromWI

I think that after a certain period of time, being sober/abstinent becomes a very regular part of one's life. So in that sense, you may not spend every waking moment concentrating on staying sober...which I did for quite some time initially. But I don' t think you can ever relax in your conviction that sobriety requires eternal vigilance. It's not like a virus where your body kills it off and it's simply gone forever after that.

Atlast9999

SoberRican

For me I dont think about it to much. I treat it like an allergy. Like say if I'm allergic to peanuts wiuld I go buy a snicker bar? I now treat booze the same way. Hey and so far its working. Lol 138 days😃

Ghostlight1

I've been sober over ten and a half years, and I still am on guard against the first drink every day.
I'm surrounded by booze, as I assume most are. Maybe. I live in a big city and no one cares if I don't drink. On the contrary, with all the alcohol advertising and bars and clubs and billboards, not to mention television ads it seems someone is out to get me to drink.
Paranoia? I think not. More people can drink responsibly than can't.
I realize this. It's not their problem that I'm an alcoholic.
And that's why I, personally, have to be ever vigilant. It doesn't bother me. In fact I get a perverse amusement out of it. Like na-na you not going to suck me back in.

So, yeah, every day. I don't imagine it'll change either.

AnvilheadII

I had become a non-smoker (which I totally destroyed after drinking too much with a smoker & deciding one was not going to hurt)

i think the answer is found right in this statement. you were a non-smoker, until you weren't. given a certain set of circumstance, with your guard down, previously determined positions on situations can and will change.

it is and will be the same for drinking. there ARE many reasons why someone after 10, 20 or 30 years makes the decision to pick up again. but most of them have to do with forgetting WHY sobriety is important, letting their guard down, and putting themselves in the exact wrong place at the exact wrong time.

being vigilant doesn't mean we never leave the house. but it's like the cop's bullet proof vest, or the construction worker's hardhat, or the bike helmet, or the seat belt. precautionary measures that just become a part of our daily life.

BackandScared

Thank you for all the replies.
Not what I wanted to listen. Alcohol has apparently also stolen the possibility of not thinking about alcohol from me.
I am determined (aren't we all?) not to drink ever again. I have learnt that advice that does not seem to apply to me, actually does. No more fantasies about being the 'special' one who will forget all about alcohol, except to say no when offered.
I know my example of the cigarettes is also revealing, but at some point I was really free from the thought. I have no idea how many years I wasn't smoking. I blame the alcohol for relapsing but I should have a closer look to that episode too.
It was important to ask and I really appreciate you answered.

Dee74

I remember I thought about drinking all the time as a drinker, and then about not drinking all the time as a guy new in recovery.

I think at some point I went from 'not drinking' to 'living a sober life'. Not drinking ceased to be something new and somewhat effortful to just a way of life.

For me that change started at around 90 days. not that I woke up on day 91 and the thoughts were gone, but that when they began to fade

I'm still vigilant - but I'm vigilant about a lot of things - not crossing the road in traffic, not eating week old pizza....

Its just my life now...and I love it

D

GiftsOfSobriety

For me it was somewhere around 3-4 months. At that point I no longer feared going to the grocery store or thought about drinking whenever I had an unpleasant emotion. I have 9 months now but I still avoid walking through the alcohol section of the grocery store and if I’m around someone who is drinking I stay vigilant. The constant obsessive thoughts are gone though.

GiftsOfSobriety

I had 25 years and 27 days at one point and I thought I might be recovered and normal by then. I wanted to see what it was like to have a couple drinks and ended up wasting 7 years of my life as a result.

Sober369

Thanks so much for sharing that, Gifts. I hope to always remember that.
This has been a good thread, good reading.
Very funny: "2 days to Nirvana". That made me laugh, though it's not what he said. If you are 2 days to Nirvana, it can't be far off for me!
I like your take on it, Dee. That's what I'm shooting for.

least

I remember realizing around a year sober that I wasn't thinking about "not drinking" anymore. I was just sober and that was my normal state of being.