Friends arrived with booze
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
For me, I think it's really important to set boundaries. I could not and would not put myself in that position at 1 week sober having friends round with booze. Why make things harder for yourself. I say this kindly 
we have to put ourselves first.
we have to put ourselves first.
Though I'm pretty reclusive and not very sociable Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast 
For me, I think it's really important to set boundaries..
my house my rules: absolutely no booze allowed in my house- no matter who.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Good job on not drinking!
While I understand all the rules and boundaries I must set, and I do for the most part. Adaptability has also been very important for my sustained abstinence. Sometimes being able to stick to my guns, even when the world is not all ordered, controlled and following my rules, is really really important. So good on ya.
And maybe next time don't answer the door! Haha. Yes, I do that.
While I understand all the rules and boundaries I must set, and I do for the most part. Adaptability has also been very important for my sustained abstinence. Sometimes being able to stick to my guns, even when the world is not all ordered, controlled and following my rules, is really really important. So good on ya.
And maybe next time don't answer the door! Haha. Yes, I do that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 241
Good for you for not drinking. I had surrounded myself with heavy drinkers as good friends, so I too had this happen. I did end up sharing with everyone that I did not drink anymore to set boundaries for things like that happening.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
Well done for not drinking. As dcg said, that's super weird for people to just show up completely unannounced expecting to drink at your place. Never in my life have I had friends just appear completely out of the blue expecting to get drunk in my house, even when I was a huge drinker and had a go-to party location.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
I think it is about boundries, and like with eveything, to each their own.
We have people stop by all the time, and no issues with people drinking in my house. I think it may be a culture thing -- I love that people pass by with or without wine.
But these are early days for you, so the main thing is to protect your sobriety against everything.
Good job on that!
X
We have people stop by all the time, and no issues with people drinking in my house. I think it may be a culture thing -- I love that people pass by with or without wine.
But these are early days for you, so the main thing is to protect your sobriety against everything.
Good job on that!
X
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,409
Tell your friends you’re an alcoholic; no booze will be brought round then if they’re proper friends. Rigorous honesty is important in my recovery, especially in the early days. I had to make sure that I had no “bolt holes” (from Dee many years ago) to run down with rationalisation when life inevitably got tough. If people knew I was an Alkie and I referred to myself as this then I knew what drinking for me meant. I never experienced anything but respect from people. When you own something it shuts people up.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I was writing in my SR "home group" about how it would be nice if we could just be okay with having people know that we were in recovery without the internal strife that it creates for us or the wide eyes in others that may view us.
Some of us are very strong about the boundaries set, and others are not so defined in this sense of how we set up our lives in this way. I think you handled it well. I don't feel uncomfortable around others who are consuming alcohol, but I wouldn't keep it in my house, either, as some people can.
If this happened to me, I would just keep the encounter brief.
Some of us are very strong about the boundaries set, and others are not so defined in this sense of how we set up our lives in this way. I think you handled it well. I don't feel uncomfortable around others who are consuming alcohol, but I wouldn't keep it in my house, either, as some people can.
If this happened to me, I would just keep the encounter brief.
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