I am new - and need help - my husband is in jai because of his addiction
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Join Date: Mar 2019
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I am new - and need help - my husband is in jai because of his addiction
I have to be in court on Friday - and read an impact statement - I have never written one - I have been trying and asking for help for so long - this is my last help - I am posting what I have so far - any advice would be appreciated - I am scared - I have to read it in front of him -
Dear *** –
I have to start this by telling you that I love you so very much. That being said, I will be totally honest with my feelings at this point. Even though I love you, I hate your drinking. I also want to thank you for listening/watching to the recording/video and your apology for the horrible things you said/did to me recently. As always, I forgive you. However, I will no longer support and enable your cruel drunk behavior.
When you said “you will Never be a part of my Recovery” my heart sank because I realized you lied to me “again” …. You asked me to come home so I could help you, support you in going to Rehab – you needed me to help you, take care of the dogs and home while you were getting help. I did come home – because I love and believed the man I married. Before we were so close, there was nothing I couldn’t tell you, I trusted you – I felt safe with you. You were my best friend, you/we were happy. And then you started using all I shared with you against me and now I barely see that happy, fun person you were anymore. You are struggling with your health and the stress of fighting for your children for the last 15 years has increased your drinking every day and I am witnessing the problems this addiction is causing you and our relationship and the relationship with your children pile up higher and higher. I worry every day you are going to have a heart attack – or detox alone and die. And all you can say to me is you are going to do everything you have to including lie and have people lie for you to get you to stay out of jail/rehab.
I now know you can’t stop without help! And so the past two years, the impact of your drinking has made me feel every emotion you can feel: sad, angry, disappointed, embarrassed, fearful, bored, lonely, consumed, CRAZY (as you told your friends/family), neurotic, nervous, extremely manipulated and used, ashamed of myself for manipulating (dumping out all your alcohol I find), frustrated, pissed off, regretful, stupid, unfocused, wrought with worry, guilty, and life becomes extremely chaotic and unsettling on a daily basis because I never know what I am going to come home to or who I will be talking to on the phone – usually the first give away/sign you have been drinking, along with the volume of your voice.
When you drink excessively, you display SIGNS observed by everyone, so your secret you think is safe – Isn’t! Everyone at Giant/and on FB always asks how are things at home? The words you speak are of an extremely negative, angry and violent mindset, extreme anxiety and LOUD ridiculous talk about the same stuff, argumentative, constantly saying “Let me talk”, poor listening skills, extreme denial, and LOUD intense blame/horrible name calling of everyone and how they wronged YOU!. This behavior manifests after you drink and effects the people you typically care about the most. It creates chaos. And then the next day you always say, “I have a big heart and I am a good person and I have friends that love me” …. Not recognizing how your disease makes those characteristics become less relevant in daily life that is delivered to us from the effects of your behavior when you drink. The horrible vile voicemails, text/email messages, pictures sent, lies and empty promises said, not just to me – but family and friends and children are all left behind as reminders to us all of how you behave when you are drunk!
From the sober eyes of your children, it is obvious that the relationship you have with your them is deteriorating the more you drink, you didn’t even spend any time with them this summer while we were separated. You spent it drinking and harassing me, only to call/text and apologize…. Repeat the next day. I sent you money and so did Aimee and Haixia – to help you provide Christmas for the kids – you drank it. You had no time or money for them this summer but managed to fly to Arizona.
I have to be honest, the impact of your drinking has taken a toll on us. The trust in our marriage is severely destroyed. I am resentful for the way you have acted this past year, you have said so many mean/VILE and horrible things to me and about me to your family and friends when you are drinking (I question if they are truths). Yet, you call me in the end, to ask me to help you? I question if you even know who I am for real? Does your perception of how you speak to me match my perception of who and what I believed YOU thought I was to you? You knew you were unemployed and yet had no plan for your family, kids or yourself, leaving it all up to me. You drank your unemployment, chose not to pay the mortgage, cable, electricity or even get your truck out of the tow yard, yet while I was away and with what little money I had, I sent you when I could. You always had money for alcohol but none for dog food. While we were separated you lived in squalor with a fridge that didn’t work for 5 months, garbage though out the house, dog **** in the house, empty wine boxes and alcohol bottles strewn everywhere and did not seriously look for a job. And when you said come home – I did – I came home and picked up the pieces of your/our broken life. Found a fridge and new furniture and took out all the trash, Literally! Now I am dealing with the outcome of your addiction, being evicted from, because of foreclosure, from a home you owned for 14 yrs. and chose not to take care of financially and figuring out how to take care of the animals and pay bills and find a place to live all while trying to learn a new job! Yes, I must love you! But I hate your DRINKING!
I feel the impact of your drinking always ruins milestones in our lives that should be happy. Christmas 2017, Valentine’s Day 2018, Mother’s Day-YOU SCREAMING AT ME IN FRONT OF MARIE, Father’s Day, 4th of July, our birthdays, our wedding anniversary (the abuse I suffered AFTER YOU DEMANDED I COME HOME and the heartfelt apology voicemail you sent afterward) and Christmas 2018 (the dry firing of your gun telling me **** you - voicemail).
You smash my urn of Brinks, destroyed my only heirloom jewelry box from my grandfather, burned up/took my legal papers of previous attacks and burned my Virginia license (I found the melted remains when I cleaned the fireplace) as well as took my subpoena to appear in court today – I found it in the pocket of your Red coat. You have also destroyed 2 brand new iPhones and smashed the bedroom door 2x, which I had to replace and smashed the window in our rental house. Fired your shot gun in the house and shot a hole in the ceiling! Thank God we live on the top floor, your intoxication could have killed or seriously hurt someone, or yourself! I have had many bruises and hospital trips because of you. In fact, you couldn’t stay sober when I was in the hospital – you called me drunk while I was there with CDIFF screaming at me all night – showed up to visit me Drunk and with alcohol in your cup!
Our life revolves around your drinking (Every day I pick up four loco cans, wine/vodka and port bottles hidden around the house and outside and most recently the ledge outside the patio – wine bottles that fall in to the neighbors flowers and she delivers back to the front door) and I am not living my life the way I want to live it because of your habit. The impact of your drinking has affected my ability to relax and enjoy life effectively- exercise, eat well because I never have a stable day DUE TO SEVERE LACK OF SLEEP. I have allowed your addiction to have too much power in my life. The impact is that I can’t focus on the relevant matters because I am always focused on your drinking and the effects it has on our lives.
You know what I am talking about. Admittedly, I have to work on me too – I am not perfect in any way, but I know where one drink ends up, but it is where I am today. At this stage, I worry about your health every day; worry your children/myself/your family will watch you die in the hospital before Sean and Marie graduate high-school.
But I believe there is HOPE & GOD, trust and all the positive outcomes that an overly optimistic person holds on to; a fault in this life. I call it my curse…. My enabling spirit. The man I love – MY BEAR - The man I love that has these demons from the past that manifest themselves and make him drink. The wonderful sober kindhearted husband, friend, son, cousin and Brother. Everyone loves sober you more than you love yourself…. But nobody can make you love you but you. And so, I don’t have to make any choices Bear- you do; I have made mine! You have to make choices about how you want the story of a bear to end…. And HOPE and have FAITH that all the choices and all the effects of this disease can be reversed… Because in this life if you truly want to do something, you work at it daily forever and every action and every choice has a consequence. That is just the way life works.
With all my truth, with all my love, and you know I do love you. You know I think you are amazing…. SOBER. If you choose to participate in a rehab program (I pray that for you – Not Jail), I promise you that I will be there to support you and help you in any way I can. I have learned that giving you money and lying for you to the police and a lot of other things I do for you because I love you are only helping you remain in your addiction. I AM WILLING TO CHANGE THAT BEHAVIOR IN MYSELF – BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND BELIEVE THAT IF YOU GET THE HELP AND SUPPORT YOU NEED – YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL! I BELIEVE IN YOU! I feel as I am the only one who does, I have asked your family, friends and every professional in this nightmare to help you! To no avail - You have to help you – I can only support your choice –
Dear *** –
I have to start this by telling you that I love you so very much. That being said, I will be totally honest with my feelings at this point. Even though I love you, I hate your drinking. I also want to thank you for listening/watching to the recording/video and your apology for the horrible things you said/did to me recently. As always, I forgive you. However, I will no longer support and enable your cruel drunk behavior.
When you said “you will Never be a part of my Recovery” my heart sank because I realized you lied to me “again” …. You asked me to come home so I could help you, support you in going to Rehab – you needed me to help you, take care of the dogs and home while you were getting help. I did come home – because I love and believed the man I married. Before we were so close, there was nothing I couldn’t tell you, I trusted you – I felt safe with you. You were my best friend, you/we were happy. And then you started using all I shared with you against me and now I barely see that happy, fun person you were anymore. You are struggling with your health and the stress of fighting for your children for the last 15 years has increased your drinking every day and I am witnessing the problems this addiction is causing you and our relationship and the relationship with your children pile up higher and higher. I worry every day you are going to have a heart attack – or detox alone and die. And all you can say to me is you are going to do everything you have to including lie and have people lie for you to get you to stay out of jail/rehab.
I now know you can’t stop without help! And so the past two years, the impact of your drinking has made me feel every emotion you can feel: sad, angry, disappointed, embarrassed, fearful, bored, lonely, consumed, CRAZY (as you told your friends/family), neurotic, nervous, extremely manipulated and used, ashamed of myself for manipulating (dumping out all your alcohol I find), frustrated, pissed off, regretful, stupid, unfocused, wrought with worry, guilty, and life becomes extremely chaotic and unsettling on a daily basis because I never know what I am going to come home to or who I will be talking to on the phone – usually the first give away/sign you have been drinking, along with the volume of your voice.
When you drink excessively, you display SIGNS observed by everyone, so your secret you think is safe – Isn’t! Everyone at Giant/and on FB always asks how are things at home? The words you speak are of an extremely negative, angry and violent mindset, extreme anxiety and LOUD ridiculous talk about the same stuff, argumentative, constantly saying “Let me talk”, poor listening skills, extreme denial, and LOUD intense blame/horrible name calling of everyone and how they wronged YOU!. This behavior manifests after you drink and effects the people you typically care about the most. It creates chaos. And then the next day you always say, “I have a big heart and I am a good person and I have friends that love me” …. Not recognizing how your disease makes those characteristics become less relevant in daily life that is delivered to us from the effects of your behavior when you drink. The horrible vile voicemails, text/email messages, pictures sent, lies and empty promises said, not just to me – but family and friends and children are all left behind as reminders to us all of how you behave when you are drunk!
From the sober eyes of your children, it is obvious that the relationship you have with your them is deteriorating the more you drink, you didn’t even spend any time with them this summer while we were separated. You spent it drinking and harassing me, only to call/text and apologize…. Repeat the next day. I sent you money and so did Aimee and Haixia – to help you provide Christmas for the kids – you drank it. You had no time or money for them this summer but managed to fly to Arizona.
I have to be honest, the impact of your drinking has taken a toll on us. The trust in our marriage is severely destroyed. I am resentful for the way you have acted this past year, you have said so many mean/VILE and horrible things to me and about me to your family and friends when you are drinking (I question if they are truths). Yet, you call me in the end, to ask me to help you? I question if you even know who I am for real? Does your perception of how you speak to me match my perception of who and what I believed YOU thought I was to you? You knew you were unemployed and yet had no plan for your family, kids or yourself, leaving it all up to me. You drank your unemployment, chose not to pay the mortgage, cable, electricity or even get your truck out of the tow yard, yet while I was away and with what little money I had, I sent you when I could. You always had money for alcohol but none for dog food. While we were separated you lived in squalor with a fridge that didn’t work for 5 months, garbage though out the house, dog **** in the house, empty wine boxes and alcohol bottles strewn everywhere and did not seriously look for a job. And when you said come home – I did – I came home and picked up the pieces of your/our broken life. Found a fridge and new furniture and took out all the trash, Literally! Now I am dealing with the outcome of your addiction, being evicted from, because of foreclosure, from a home you owned for 14 yrs. and chose not to take care of financially and figuring out how to take care of the animals and pay bills and find a place to live all while trying to learn a new job! Yes, I must love you! But I hate your DRINKING!
I feel the impact of your drinking always ruins milestones in our lives that should be happy. Christmas 2017, Valentine’s Day 2018, Mother’s Day-YOU SCREAMING AT ME IN FRONT OF MARIE, Father’s Day, 4th of July, our birthdays, our wedding anniversary (the abuse I suffered AFTER YOU DEMANDED I COME HOME and the heartfelt apology voicemail you sent afterward) and Christmas 2018 (the dry firing of your gun telling me **** you - voicemail).
You smash my urn of Brinks, destroyed my only heirloom jewelry box from my grandfather, burned up/took my legal papers of previous attacks and burned my Virginia license (I found the melted remains when I cleaned the fireplace) as well as took my subpoena to appear in court today – I found it in the pocket of your Red coat. You have also destroyed 2 brand new iPhones and smashed the bedroom door 2x, which I had to replace and smashed the window in our rental house. Fired your shot gun in the house and shot a hole in the ceiling! Thank God we live on the top floor, your intoxication could have killed or seriously hurt someone, or yourself! I have had many bruises and hospital trips because of you. In fact, you couldn’t stay sober when I was in the hospital – you called me drunk while I was there with CDIFF screaming at me all night – showed up to visit me Drunk and with alcohol in your cup!
Our life revolves around your drinking (Every day I pick up four loco cans, wine/vodka and port bottles hidden around the house and outside and most recently the ledge outside the patio – wine bottles that fall in to the neighbors flowers and she delivers back to the front door) and I am not living my life the way I want to live it because of your habit. The impact of your drinking has affected my ability to relax and enjoy life effectively- exercise, eat well because I never have a stable day DUE TO SEVERE LACK OF SLEEP. I have allowed your addiction to have too much power in my life. The impact is that I can’t focus on the relevant matters because I am always focused on your drinking and the effects it has on our lives.
You know what I am talking about. Admittedly, I have to work on me too – I am not perfect in any way, but I know where one drink ends up, but it is where I am today. At this stage, I worry about your health every day; worry your children/myself/your family will watch you die in the hospital before Sean and Marie graduate high-school.
But I believe there is HOPE & GOD, trust and all the positive outcomes that an overly optimistic person holds on to; a fault in this life. I call it my curse…. My enabling spirit. The man I love – MY BEAR - The man I love that has these demons from the past that manifest themselves and make him drink. The wonderful sober kindhearted husband, friend, son, cousin and Brother. Everyone loves sober you more than you love yourself…. But nobody can make you love you but you. And so, I don’t have to make any choices Bear- you do; I have made mine! You have to make choices about how you want the story of a bear to end…. And HOPE and have FAITH that all the choices and all the effects of this disease can be reversed… Because in this life if you truly want to do something, you work at it daily forever and every action and every choice has a consequence. That is just the way life works.
With all my truth, with all my love, and you know I do love you. You know I think you are amazing…. SOBER. If you choose to participate in a rehab program (I pray that for you – Not Jail), I promise you that I will be there to support you and help you in any way I can. I have learned that giving you money and lying for you to the police and a lot of other things I do for you because I love you are only helping you remain in your addiction. I AM WILLING TO CHANGE THAT BEHAVIOR IN MYSELF – BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND BELIEVE THAT IF YOU GET THE HELP AND SUPPORT YOU NEED – YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL! I BELIEVE IN YOU! I feel as I am the only one who does, I have asked your family, friends and every professional in this nightmare to help you! To no avail - You have to help you – I can only support your choice –
After all his personality defects you've listed, are you sure you want to stay with him? He sounds scary. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome, JN. sorry for what brings you here but glad youre here.
my opinion on impact letter are keep the letter about what the impact of his drinking has been on you and your family- its an impact letter and not a "this is how i will support you and how much i love you and this is how you have to get sober" letter.
something i strongly encourgae you to consider on this:
I promise you that I will be there to support you and help you in any way I can.
you had best define how that support will . do you know what support for someone in recovery looks like? do you have boundaries in place for when he gets home?
what about support for yourself? just my opinion but in what little written here, it reads like YOUR life has been wrapped up in him for quite some time.
do you know who YOU are for real?
i ask because its rather common for loved ones of alcoholics to lose themselves
my opinion on impact letter are keep the letter about what the impact of his drinking has been on you and your family- its an impact letter and not a "this is how i will support you and how much i love you and this is how you have to get sober" letter.
something i strongly encourgae you to consider on this:
I promise you that I will be there to support you and help you in any way I can.
you had best define how that support will . do you know what support for someone in recovery looks like? do you have boundaries in place for when he gets home?
what about support for yourself? just my opinion but in what little written here, it reads like YOUR life has been wrapped up in him for quite some time.
do you know who YOU are for real?
i ask because its rather common for loved ones of alcoholics to lose themselves
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 4
Thank you so much for your replies - I wanted it to be about the effects and facts - I will remove some of the "love" I do love him - only just enough for him to get help for himself and kids now - that is all - my support I would give - I have to really think about that - that was a good question to ask me? Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,646
Originally Posted by JNRobinson 
Thank you so much for your replies - I wanted it to be about the effects and facts - I will remove some of the "love" I do love him - only just enough for him to get help for himself and kids now - that is all - my support I would give - I have to really think about that - that was a good question to ask me? Thank you!
I bring this up because it is long and while I'm not saying that what you are saying is not important (because it certainly is) most people will tune out after about 10-15 minutes (this seems to be the general concensus).
Now I assume things will go on in court before you speak and there may be other impact statements?
Anyway, just an observation for what it's worth. If you just want this "on the record" then it's not an issue. If you want to be heard, it might be.
Have you read Melody Beatties' book, Codependent no more? You might not identify with being Codependent but there is a wealth of information in that book that you might find interesting.
Also might want to check out our Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum here on SR - https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
Lots of threads there you might find helpful and lots of good information at the top of the forum in the "stickies" section as well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by JNRobinson
- my support I would give - I have to really think about that - that was a good question to ask me? Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
JN, I read your post, can understand your agony. My suggestion is that you seek AL-Anon for support and understanding what enabling the alcoholic is, how you can change and gain strength in your life. There are others who suggest reading the book CoDependent No More. It can open your eyes to the role you play in the insanity of living with an alcoholic. It's a great resource, full of insight. I know it helped me tremendously.
I took the liberty of editing of your initial victim's statement because I have experience in the legal system and know that judges are not inclined to listen to long statements. So here is an example of the powerful phrases YOU make in your letter, your own words with my suggestion at the ending:
"Even though I love you, I hate your drinking.
However, I will no longer support and enable your cruel drunk behavior.
When you said “you will Never be a part of my Recovery” my heart sank because I realized you lied to me “again” ….
Before, we were so close, there was nothing I couldn’t tell you, I trusted you – I felt safe with you. You were my best friend, you/we were happy. And then you started using all I shared with you against me and now I barely see that happy, fun person you were anymore.
And all you can say to me is you are going to do everything you have to including lie and have people lie for you to get you to stay out of jail/rehab.
The horrible vile voicemails, text/email messages, pictures sent, lies and empty promises said, not just to me – but family and friends and children are all left behind as reminders to us all of how you behave when you are drunk!
I feel the impact of your drinking always ruins milestones in our lives that should be happy.
I am not living my life the way I want to live it because of your habit. The impact of your drinking has affected my ability to relax and enjoy life effectively- exercise, eat well because I never have a stable day DUE TO SEVERE LACK OF SLEEP. I have allowed your addiction to have too much power in my life. The impact is that I can’t focus on the relevant matters because I am always focused on your drinking and the effects it has on our lives.
You have to make choices about how you want the story of a bear to end, because in this life if you truly want to do something, you work at it daily forever and every action and every choice has a consequence.
You know I think you are amazing…. SOBER. If you choose to participate in a rehab program (I pray that for you – Not Jail), I promise you that I will be there to support you and help you in any way I can. I have learned that giving you money and lying for you to the police and a lot of other things I do for you because I love you are only helping you remain in your addiction.
You have to help you – I can only support your choice"
<suggestion: I WILL ONLY SUPPORT YOUR SOBRIETY AND TREATMENT>
JN - I hope this helps. I only mean this post in the most supportive and compassionate way. Your husband will have to do the work to change. I hope you know that you do not have to remain in an abusive relationship. Getting on the road to healthy for you will be your own challenge or "work". Please get support from groups such as Al-Anon. They can listen and not judge but offer you perspective that only comes with having been there themselves. Good luck to you and sending you hugs!
I took the liberty of editing of your initial victim's statement because I have experience in the legal system and know that judges are not inclined to listen to long statements. So here is an example of the powerful phrases YOU make in your letter, your own words with my suggestion at the ending:
"Even though I love you, I hate your drinking.
However, I will no longer support and enable your cruel drunk behavior.
When you said “you will Never be a part of my Recovery” my heart sank because I realized you lied to me “again” ….
Before, we were so close, there was nothing I couldn’t tell you, I trusted you – I felt safe with you. You were my best friend, you/we were happy. And then you started using all I shared with you against me and now I barely see that happy, fun person you were anymore.
And all you can say to me is you are going to do everything you have to including lie and have people lie for you to get you to stay out of jail/rehab.
The horrible vile voicemails, text/email messages, pictures sent, lies and empty promises said, not just to me – but family and friends and children are all left behind as reminders to us all of how you behave when you are drunk!
I feel the impact of your drinking always ruins milestones in our lives that should be happy.
I am not living my life the way I want to live it because of your habit. The impact of your drinking has affected my ability to relax and enjoy life effectively- exercise, eat well because I never have a stable day DUE TO SEVERE LACK OF SLEEP. I have allowed your addiction to have too much power in my life. The impact is that I can’t focus on the relevant matters because I am always focused on your drinking and the effects it has on our lives.
You have to make choices about how you want the story of a bear to end, because in this life if you truly want to do something, you work at it daily forever and every action and every choice has a consequence.
You know I think you are amazing…. SOBER. If you choose to participate in a rehab program (I pray that for you – Not Jail), I promise you that I will be there to support you and help you in any way I can. I have learned that giving you money and lying for you to the police and a lot of other things I do for you because I love you are only helping you remain in your addiction.
You have to help you – I can only support your choice"
<suggestion: I WILL ONLY SUPPORT YOUR SOBRIETY AND TREATMENT>
JN - I hope this helps. I only mean this post in the most supportive and compassionate way. Your husband will have to do the work to change. I hope you know that you do not have to remain in an abusive relationship. Getting on the road to healthy for you will be your own challenge or "work". Please get support from groups such as Al-Anon. They can listen and not judge but offer you perspective that only comes with having been there themselves. Good luck to you and sending you hugs!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 4
Thank you so very very much! I have made the changes and tried to shorten it - removed a lot of the "love" and my heart sinking - just kept the fact - he lied. more about him and his choices effecting his children and less about me.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
I'm just surprised at how many negative (pot calling the kettle black) posts there are about the husband, on a forum like this. I mean, other than his refusal to help himself when he clearly actually has a lot going for him, he sounds like a fairly standard drunk to me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Tetrax
I'm just surprised at how many negative (pot calling the kettle black) posts there are about the husband, on a forum like this. I mean, other than his refusal to help himself when he clearly actually has a lot going for him, he sounds like a fairly standard drunk to me.
1) some posts are from friends/family of standard drunks.
2) some posts are from double winners-codependants and standard drunks in revovery.
3) yup- some of us used to be that standard dunk. that doesnt mean we approve of or condone our PAST behavior or the behavior of a practicing standard drunk.
4)friends and families of standard drunks go through a LOT of crap, which with time you may see how your own actions have effected those close to you.
4)shielding a standard drunk from the truth gets friends and families of standard drunks pretty messed up.
5)standard drunks dont deserve special treatment or excuses for them-they should have to face the consequences for their actions.
best move any person made when i was a standard drunk was to walk away from me. i was only going to drag them down with me because thats what standard drunks do.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
JN - not sure where you are with your court but just so you know. Your victim's statement is about you. Not your children, your family or any other person. Just you. That is why I cut and pasted your (YOUR) own remarks. You can ask the other members of your family to write their own. You can NOT tell the judge how other people feel in a victims statement. Leave that up to the other victims.
Wishing you the best when you get to trial. Stay strong or what you want!
Wishing you the best when you get to trial. Stay strong or what you want!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
as i understand it the victim's impact statement is also tied to the EVENT that led to the incarceration. this is not an intervention. nor a history of all past events, altho they may be related.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by Tetrax
I'm just surprised at how many negative (pot calling the kettle black) posts there are about the husband, on a forum like this. I mean, other than his refusal to help himself when he clearly actually has a lot going for him, he sounds like a fairly standard drunk to me.
--> Many of us have struggled with alcohol, many of us have also not treated our wives/spouses like this. This "man" deserve condemnation. I hope the OP can find a life separate from him that she so clearly deserves.
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