St Patricks Day Support Thread 2019
St Patricks Day Support Thread 2019
Its that time of year again
This day used to be about the Guinness for me...
now it's about the trials and tribulations that my, and so many other people's ancestors had, crossing the globe in search of a new & better life for themselves and their children, and their children's children...
If you need help and support this St Patricks day this is the place to be.
Happy St Patricks Day everybody
Make good recovery choices this year everyone
D
This day used to be about the Guinness for me...
now it's about the trials and tribulations that my, and so many other people's ancestors had, crossing the globe in search of a new & better life for themselves and their children, and their children's children...
If you need help and support this St Patricks day this is the place to be.
Happy St Patricks Day everybody
Make good recovery choices this year everyone
D
12 things not to say to your friend who isn't drinking this st. Patrick's day
sarah schuster
st. Patrick’s day is a holiday that celebrates irish heritage.
But it’s also a holiday — like many modernized holidays — that presents an opportunity to drink. And for those who are recovering from alcoholism, stay sober for medical reasons or just simply don’t like to drink, participating in these festivities can be a challenge. And it’s not necessarily the temptation to drink that’s challenging — it’s sometimes how people treat those who don’t drink that make these “drinking holidays” hard.
So, to get a sense of what people who don’t drink don’t appreciate hearing, we asked people who are staying sober in our mental health community to share one thing they don’t want to hear from friends and family this st. Patrick’s day.
Here’s what they shared with us:
1. “’come on, just have one!’ one could mean several serious side effects from the numerous medications i’m on. I choose not to drink. Please respect that.” — justine p.
2. “please don’t tell me that i ‘used to be more fun.’ i need your love and understanding, not hurtful or judgmental words.” — steph r.
3. “‘you don’t drink? So what do you do for fun?’ a lot of things that doesn’t have to involve drinking.” — aaron-phoenix m.
4. “people shouldn’t say, ‘oh, come on — it’s a special occasion. Don’t be lame.’ people should say, “can i buy you a soda or get you a water, you don’t have to drink alcohol to have fun.” –suewanda b.
5. “it would be fantastic if the people who know why i’m not drinking simply didn’t mention drinking to me — even well intended comments like, “see, you don’t need to drink to have fun anyway,” draw attention to the fact i’m not drinking! It just brings it to the front of my mind, as well as everyone else’s! — charlotte o.
6. “‘just one drink wont hurt you. Don’t be a party pooper.’ one drink can ruin years of discipline and hard work. Offering a friend a non-spirited drink to keep them included isn’t bad. — leondra j.
7. “i was at a little get together at a friend’s house, and they were all trying to get me to drink, my ‘friend’ even had the nerve to say, “if you love me you’ll drink.” i ended up walking out and going home. Moral of the story… don’t manipulate anyone into drinking, take no as no. You can have fun without drinking!” — kennedy l.
8. “stop saying, ‘drinking will be make everything better and is cheaper than therapy.’ when i say, ‘no, thank you,’ just respond with, ‘ok.’” — mimi b.
9. “‘it’s just one day! Holidays shouldn’t count!’ i haven’t had a drink in over three and a half years and people still say things like that. And as an addict i’m already struggling with my own ways to rationalize using. I don’t need support on bad thoughts from others, too.” — alissa s.
10. “people definitely should not say, “oh, come on, it’s only one drink”… cuz for me, there’s no such thing as ‘only one drink’… so no alcohol for me, thanks… club soda with a touch of lime juice suits me just fine.” — pam m.
11. “if you don’t think you can have fun sober you ought to try it! I hate when people shove drinks in my face. ‘oh here…drink it…c’mon…you know you want to.’ um, no. I’m good.” — jennifer o.
12. “don’t make it a big deal. This is how a simple interaction should go: Person 1: *notices me not drinking alcohol or anything* can i get you a drink? Me: Sure but i don’t drink alcohol person 1: That’s ok, let me get you your favorite beverage, on me. Not so hard, now is it?” — ariana m.
If you or a loved one is affected by addiction and need help, you can call samhsa’s hotline at 1-800-662-4357.
https://themighty.com/2017/03/sober-...-i-dont-drink/
sarah schuster
st. Patrick’s day is a holiday that celebrates irish heritage.
But it’s also a holiday — like many modernized holidays — that presents an opportunity to drink. And for those who are recovering from alcoholism, stay sober for medical reasons or just simply don’t like to drink, participating in these festivities can be a challenge. And it’s not necessarily the temptation to drink that’s challenging — it’s sometimes how people treat those who don’t drink that make these “drinking holidays” hard.
So, to get a sense of what people who don’t drink don’t appreciate hearing, we asked people who are staying sober in our mental health community to share one thing they don’t want to hear from friends and family this st. Patrick’s day.
Here’s what they shared with us:
1. “’come on, just have one!’ one could mean several serious side effects from the numerous medications i’m on. I choose not to drink. Please respect that.” — justine p.
2. “please don’t tell me that i ‘used to be more fun.’ i need your love and understanding, not hurtful or judgmental words.” — steph r.
3. “‘you don’t drink? So what do you do for fun?’ a lot of things that doesn’t have to involve drinking.” — aaron-phoenix m.
4. “people shouldn’t say, ‘oh, come on — it’s a special occasion. Don’t be lame.’ people should say, “can i buy you a soda or get you a water, you don’t have to drink alcohol to have fun.” –suewanda b.
5. “it would be fantastic if the people who know why i’m not drinking simply didn’t mention drinking to me — even well intended comments like, “see, you don’t need to drink to have fun anyway,” draw attention to the fact i’m not drinking! It just brings it to the front of my mind, as well as everyone else’s! — charlotte o.
6. “‘just one drink wont hurt you. Don’t be a party pooper.’ one drink can ruin years of discipline and hard work. Offering a friend a non-spirited drink to keep them included isn’t bad. — leondra j.
7. “i was at a little get together at a friend’s house, and they were all trying to get me to drink, my ‘friend’ even had the nerve to say, “if you love me you’ll drink.” i ended up walking out and going home. Moral of the story… don’t manipulate anyone into drinking, take no as no. You can have fun without drinking!” — kennedy l.
8. “stop saying, ‘drinking will be make everything better and is cheaper than therapy.’ when i say, ‘no, thank you,’ just respond with, ‘ok.’” — mimi b.
9. “‘it’s just one day! Holidays shouldn’t count!’ i haven’t had a drink in over three and a half years and people still say things like that. And as an addict i’m already struggling with my own ways to rationalize using. I don’t need support on bad thoughts from others, too.” — alissa s.
10. “people definitely should not say, “oh, come on, it’s only one drink”… cuz for me, there’s no such thing as ‘only one drink’… so no alcohol for me, thanks… club soda with a touch of lime juice suits me just fine.” — pam m.
11. “if you don’t think you can have fun sober you ought to try it! I hate when people shove drinks in my face. ‘oh here…drink it…c’mon…you know you want to.’ um, no. I’m good.” — jennifer o.
12. “don’t make it a big deal. This is how a simple interaction should go: Person 1: *notices me not drinking alcohol or anything* can i get you a drink? Me: Sure but i don’t drink alcohol person 1: That’s ok, let me get you your favorite beverage, on me. Not so hard, now is it?” — ariana m.
If you or a loved one is affected by addiction and need help, you can call samhsa’s hotline at 1-800-662-4357.
https://themighty.com/2017/03/sober-...-i-dont-drink/
I'm in . Happy Saint Paddy's Day everyone!
So my wife and I are taking the little one up to our hometown, I'm going to hang with my old man and brother, we'll be cooking up Shepherd's Pie and scotch eggs from scratch.
I'm picking up some nitro cold brew coffees and smoking my pipe (there's a great pipe tobacco blend called 'high seas' I've always loved).
I'm actually having a coffee at the office right now and listening to Irish music before anyone else gets here. Woke up super early to hang out w/ my little buddy, then hit the gym before dawn to run, lift, swim and sauna.
I'm in a pretty good place at the moment, lots moving in my life, a lot of big changes/moves on the horizon -- all for the better (but not without it's stress points).
This Irish blessing at in my grandfather's home for decades -- it still does even now that he's passed.
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall soft upon your fields -- and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
Carry on, friends. Slainte'.
So my wife and I are taking the little one up to our hometown, I'm going to hang with my old man and brother, we'll be cooking up Shepherd's Pie and scotch eggs from scratch.
I'm picking up some nitro cold brew coffees and smoking my pipe (there's a great pipe tobacco blend called 'high seas' I've always loved).
I'm actually having a coffee at the office right now and listening to Irish music before anyone else gets here. Woke up super early to hang out w/ my little buddy, then hit the gym before dawn to run, lift, swim and sauna.
I'm in a pretty good place at the moment, lots moving in my life, a lot of big changes/moves on the horizon -- all for the better (but not without it's stress points).
This Irish blessing at in my grandfather's home for decades -- it still does even now that he's passed.
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall soft upon your fields -- and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
Carry on, friends. Slainte'.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 500
I plan on doing what I do every year, going to the local festival. This time I won't be drinking, obviously, and that's okay! I'll be around drunks, I'll get some laughs, drink my ginger ale, and spend more money than I should on food. I look forward to it!
Christmas is for Santa. Valentines is for lovers. Halloween is for dressing up in silly costumes. Saint Patrick's is for... well, I'm not really sure. On this side of the pond, it seems like a celebration of unrestrained drinking. Don't get me wrong. As an alcoholic, I thought it was a fine tradition, and I developed a loving respect for the Irish, who in my mind were important because they devoted their lives to staggering around slurring their words in an accent that I could hardly understand in the first place.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
In my little town, the St Patricks Day Parade starts at about 7am and the bars open at 6:30am. My neighbor owns the main bar in town and he said they sold 350 bottles of whiskey St. Paddy's morning. Just shots.
That's a lot of Irish coffee!
Even when I drank heavy, I never liked St. Paddy's day all that much. It's almost like it was too much booze, even for me
That's a lot of Irish coffee!
Even when I drank heavy, I never liked St. Paddy's day all that much. It's almost like it was too much booze, even for me
Funnily enough I felt the same! I tended to avoid the really busy places, but as a booze hound I'd still go to a quieter bar with friends and drink unbelievable amounts. The big parties were for the crazy drunkards, but in fact I was probably drinking way more than them at my more quiet 'sensible' gathering.
To me St. Patrick's Day is also Reptile & Amphibian Day at the local museum - no drinking, just a lot of fun stuff to look at! I just need to make sure I get home without any detours to pick up anything alcoholic but I'll be motivated - Sunday will mark my Day 29 and the start of my fifth sober week!
I realized I have a frozen whole corned beef in the freezer and cabbage was on sale, 3 pounds for a buck.
So I'm doing corned beef and cabbage tomorrow. It's keto friendly. Just can't have the carrots or potatoes.|
Green beer always disgusted me anyway.
So I'm doing corned beef and cabbage tomorrow. It's keto friendly. Just can't have the carrots or potatoes.|
Green beer always disgusted me anyway.
Christmas is for Santa. Valentines is for lovers. Halloween is for dressing up in silly costumes. Saint Patrick's is for... well, I'm not really sure. On this side of the pond, it seems like a celebration of unrestrained drinking. Don't get me wrong. As an alcoholic, I thought it was a fine tradition, and I developed a loving respect for the Irish, who in my mind were important because they devoted their lives to staggering around slurring their words in an accent that I could hardly understand in the first place.
I think it developed as a day set aside for those Irish people living away from 'home', or the descendants of those people, to celebrate their Irishness.
I don't remember it being a big drinking day here when I was a kid but by the time I was in my twenties it had gone that way.
D
Cinco de Mayo is huge in many parts of the US, and is also a reason to eat burritos and drink margaritas. It's only celebrated in one state in Mexico, as it commemorates a very small battle against Napoleon.
If you must go out, remember the tips here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)
D
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)
D
There's also the Soberbus if anyone wants a little extra support ~Join us!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-pt-25-a.html (Please stay on the Sober bus - pt.25)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-pt-25-a.html (Please stay on the Sober bus - pt.25)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,916
Thanks for putting this up Dee. I am a year further into this but I’m back visiting my family and there’s a lot of drinking planned (by others, not me). Will be nice to come here, or weekender, or sober bus if I’m struggling! Less with a desire to drink and more with a desire for people to join me on the sober side. It’s hard to explain. I’m happy for the way I’m living and I’m proud of myself. Sometimes it just feels a bit out of sync with the rest of the world. Except my kids They’re sober with me all the time. Anyhow, thanks.
I remember watching a Billy Connolly special once, he did a series on visiting places in Canada and he mentioned that the people of Eastern Canada (Newfoundland, PEI etc) were more Scottish than he was - almost implying they were trying too hard.
Well, as you say Dee, this is their heritage. For a long time we are told stories about our ancestors and the struggle they made to come here to this bunch of soil and try to make a go of it. They worked hard and because of that we enjoy what we have here now.
For me, my GG Grandfather travelled to Texas in 1840 from Ireland at a mere 16 years old. He was (eventually) drafted in to the confederate army and fled and joined the union.
He then travelled the United States for a few years before finally becoming the first European settler in the area where I live.
I don't think I have ever had a drink on St. Patrick's day but I will wear a green shirt and take a moment to thank him for his struggle and for being a fine Irishman!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)