Well it's officially time to make my first post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 9
Well it's officially time to make my first post
My name is Drake and I am 27 years old.
Please excuse me for rambling. I am not drunk but am suffering pretty bad at the moment with what I believe to be a strong case of gastritis or some kind of ulcer (though I have not been to a doctor yet, but I have the symptoms.) I am not throwing up blood or anything like that but cannot eat because of the pain. I Have done so many hours of reading on Reddit and here these past 40-60 hours since I have been suffering the sickness and stopped the drinking.
My last drink was in the morning hours of 12/17/18 around 3-4AM when the sickness hit me so hard that I did not even finish my last beer. I have been sick ever since and have only slept a few hours and am completely unable to digest food whatsoever.
3 and a half years I signed up with this site and I still have not gotten help. I did make it sober 55 days earlier this year and did not relapse significantly till now, but was actively drinking and binging but not to this extent.
My problem is alcohol and gambling.
I blew 19k on December 1st on a sportsbet and then another 10k later in the month. My binge started with using 60 xanax bars and a total of 4 or 5 ambien and i think 300mg of Viagra. So it didn't get really bad with the alcohol until I ran out of the the Xanax and ambien and then I really turned up my Alcohol game out of fear of xanax withdrawal and depression of losing so much money.
Like I said I would end up rambling. Hopefully I wont have this "Wetbrain" in a week or so and I would like to become a part of the community.
I AM HERE TO QUIT ******* ALCOHOL!!!
everyone that is here to help people out. I will answer any questions anyone has about my story, it has been quite a wild ride to say the least. But I am serious about quitting this stupid ******** drug that has controlled my entire adult life.
I keep adding to this but it's missing so much and like I said it would be 1 sloppy ass post.
Please excuse me for rambling. I am not drunk but am suffering pretty bad at the moment with what I believe to be a strong case of gastritis or some kind of ulcer (though I have not been to a doctor yet, but I have the symptoms.) I am not throwing up blood or anything like that but cannot eat because of the pain. I Have done so many hours of reading on Reddit and here these past 40-60 hours since I have been suffering the sickness and stopped the drinking.
My last drink was in the morning hours of 12/17/18 around 3-4AM when the sickness hit me so hard that I did not even finish my last beer. I have been sick ever since and have only slept a few hours and am completely unable to digest food whatsoever.
3 and a half years I signed up with this site and I still have not gotten help. I did make it sober 55 days earlier this year and did not relapse significantly till now, but was actively drinking and binging but not to this extent.
My problem is alcohol and gambling.
I blew 19k on December 1st on a sportsbet and then another 10k later in the month. My binge started with using 60 xanax bars and a total of 4 or 5 ambien and i think 300mg of Viagra. So it didn't get really bad with the alcohol until I ran out of the the Xanax and ambien and then I really turned up my Alcohol game out of fear of xanax withdrawal and depression of losing so much money.
Like I said I would end up rambling. Hopefully I wont have this "Wetbrain" in a week or so and I would like to become a part of the community.
I AM HERE TO QUIT ******* ALCOHOL!!!
everyone that is here to help people out. I will answer any questions anyone has about my story, it has been quite a wild ride to say the least. But I am serious about quitting this stupid ******** drug that has controlled my entire adult life.I keep adding to this but it's missing so much and like I said it would be 1 sloppy ass post.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcome WB 
Many of us arrived here in pretty bad shape. You're not alone.
Things will get better so long as you keep off the booze and the gambling and the Xanax Ambien Viagra and whatever else went with the booze and gambling
It may sound like an impossible mission but support can really help - and you'll find that here
D
Many of us arrived here in pretty bad shape. You're not alone.
Things will get better so long as you keep off the booze and the gambling and the Xanax Ambien Viagra and whatever else went with the booze and gambling
It may sound like an impossible mission but support can really help - and you'll find that here
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Hi WB,
The first few weeks are really rough in terms of memory and ability to think clearly. This gets better over time, don't lose hope if you have a thought and immediately after cannot remember what it was you wanted to say or do.
When I finally quit drinking nine years ago, I was certain that I had destroyed my life and would spend the rest of my days miserably wanting to drink. Happily, nothing could be farther from the truth - it took conscious effort every day at first, but sobriety became my new normal. My health, my career, and relationships are strong - which was never the case while I was drinking. I am now happily married for four years to a fabulous woman... something I never expected (I was a 43 year old bachelor when I quit, which is to say no woman with a two digit IQ would think of marrying me back then).
The most important thing? You need to do this every day - your addiction does not go into remission. A lot of folks once they get a little time under their belts and start feeling better fall into the trap of "I'll just have a couple on this one occasion" Alcoholics are like pickles... we start as cucumbers but once we cross that line into alcoholism can never become a cucumber again, no matter how hard we try.
Another thing that seems to separate those that "make it" from those who do not: I do not know anyone who has long term sobriety who did it completely on their own. Surround yourself with like minded (ie Sober with a capital S) people and do what they did to get sober. Go to a therapist, AA or other groups, SR, whatever makes sense and works for you, but don't isolate... addiction is a disease of loneliness that we attempt to cure with isolation.
Good luck, and keep posting!
The first few weeks are really rough in terms of memory and ability to think clearly. This gets better over time, don't lose hope if you have a thought and immediately after cannot remember what it was you wanted to say or do.
When I finally quit drinking nine years ago, I was certain that I had destroyed my life and would spend the rest of my days miserably wanting to drink. Happily, nothing could be farther from the truth - it took conscious effort every day at first, but sobriety became my new normal. My health, my career, and relationships are strong - which was never the case while I was drinking. I am now happily married for four years to a fabulous woman... something I never expected (I was a 43 year old bachelor when I quit, which is to say no woman with a two digit IQ would think of marrying me back then).
The most important thing? You need to do this every day - your addiction does not go into remission. A lot of folks once they get a little time under their belts and start feeling better fall into the trap of "I'll just have a couple on this one occasion" Alcoholics are like pickles... we start as cucumbers but once we cross that line into alcoholism can never become a cucumber again, no matter how hard we try.
Another thing that seems to separate those that "make it" from those who do not: I do not know anyone who has long term sobriety who did it completely on their own. Surround yourself with like minded (ie Sober with a capital S) people and do what they did to get sober. Go to a therapist, AA or other groups, SR, whatever makes sense and works for you, but don't isolate... addiction is a disease of loneliness that we attempt to cure with isolation.
Good luck, and keep posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Eddiebuckle 
Hi WB,
The first few weeks are really rough in terms of memory and ability to think clearly. This gets better over time, don't lose hope if you have a thought and immediately after cannot remember what it was you wanted to say or do.
When I finally quit drinking nine years ago, I was certain that I had destroyed my life and would spend the rest of my days miserably wanting to drink. Happily, nothing could be farther from the truth - it took conscious effort every day at first, but sobriety became my new normal. My health, my career, and relationships are strong - which was never the case while I was drinking. I am now happily married for four years to a fabulous woman... something I never expected (I was a 43 year old bachelor when I quit, which is to say no woman with a two digit IQ would think of marrying me back then).
The most important thing? You need to do this every day - your addiction does not go into remission. A lot of folks once they get a little time under their belts and start feeling better fall into the trap of "I'll just have a couple on this one occasion" Alcoholics are like pickles... we start as cucumbers but once we cross that line into alcoholism can never become a cucumber again, no matter how hard we try.
Another thing that seems to separate those that "make it" from those who do not: I do not know anyone who has long term sobriety who did it completely on their own. Surround yourself with like minded (ie Sober with a capital S) people and do what they did to get sober. Go to a therapist, AA or other groups, SR, whatever makes sense and works for you, but don't isolate... addiction is a disease of loneliness that we attempt to cure with isolation.
Good luck, and keep posting!
The first few weeks are really rough in terms of memory and ability to think clearly. This gets better over time, don't lose hope if you have a thought and immediately after cannot remember what it was you wanted to say or do.
When I finally quit drinking nine years ago, I was certain that I had destroyed my life and would spend the rest of my days miserably wanting to drink. Happily, nothing could be farther from the truth - it took conscious effort every day at first, but sobriety became my new normal. My health, my career, and relationships are strong - which was never the case while I was drinking. I am now happily married for four years to a fabulous woman... something I never expected (I was a 43 year old bachelor when I quit, which is to say no woman with a two digit IQ would think of marrying me back then).
The most important thing? You need to do this every day - your addiction does not go into remission. A lot of folks once they get a little time under their belts and start feeling better fall into the trap of "I'll just have a couple on this one occasion" Alcoholics are like pickles... we start as cucumbers but once we cross that line into alcoholism can never become a cucumber again, no matter how hard we try.
Another thing that seems to separate those that "make it" from those who do not: I do not know anyone who has long term sobriety who did it completely on their own. Surround yourself with like minded (ie Sober with a capital S) people and do what they did to get sober. Go to a therapist, AA or other groups, SR, whatever makes sense and works for you, but don't isolate... addiction is a disease of loneliness that we attempt to cure with isolation.
Good luck, and keep posting!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Wet,
That is a lot of drugs to process. I have no experience with that.
The recovery from a mix of booze and meds is not my area.
Rule 1 here is no medical advice, so see a Dr. if you can and tell them what you are dealing with.
Keep posting.
I want to read you made it out of your addiction and offer any help (e.g. i eat sweets when crave etc.) I can.
Thanks.
That is a lot of drugs to process. I have no experience with that.
The recovery from a mix of booze and meds is not my area.
Rule 1 here is no medical advice, so see a Dr. if you can and tell them what you are dealing with.
Keep posting.
I want to read you made it out of your addiction and offer any help (e.g. i eat sweets when crave etc.) I can.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Hey, wb--I'm glad you are posting and you are quite welcome in this lovely community of understanding, support and advice; your quitting alcohol is a decision you will never regret and I hope you will continue to post. Best wishes on your sober journey.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,339
So glad you are here.
Please, go get checked out by Dr or go to ER. it’s been a few days so needs attention. Maybe get a smoother detox. Professional detox?
Glad you are choosing life!
I’m no longer a 🥒either😊
Please, go get checked out by Dr or go to ER. it’s been a few days so needs attention. Maybe get a smoother detox. Professional detox?
Glad you are choosing life!
I’m no longer a 🥒either😊
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
My first step to recovery started with running out of Lunesta (benzo like) and the pharmacy not filling it because of a date mixup. I was already in alcohol withdrawal, so I started drinking again and ended up at 5-6 bottles of red wine a day, around the clock. Then they put me back on the Lunesta. We tried a librium withdrawal, but I just drank on top of it, so....rehab it was, as by that point the combination would almost definitely caused seizures, if not worse.
I also had a withdrawal in about 2007 from klonopin and alcohol. While my last recovery was probably the most dangerous, the klonopin was by far the most unpleasant, It's a good thing I didn't have a gun or I might well have put a bullet in my head just to make it stop.
I also had horrible gastritis, which is really nasty.
WD from both alcohol and benzos can be very dangerous and hugely unpleasant. Sounds like you're through the worst of it and are still relatively young, but please see a doctor as soon as you can just in case. Everyone is different and withdrawal is unpredictable. The good news is that a week out with some good food and your stomach will start craving food normally.
Congrats on your abstinence. You planning on 12 Step for sobriety?
Oh wow, my 2,000th post. Yay me.
I also had a withdrawal in about 2007 from klonopin and alcohol. While my last recovery was probably the most dangerous, the klonopin was by far the most unpleasant, It's a good thing I didn't have a gun or I might well have put a bullet in my head just to make it stop.
I also had horrible gastritis, which is really nasty.
WD from both alcohol and benzos can be very dangerous and hugely unpleasant. Sounds like you're through the worst of it and are still relatively young, but please see a doctor as soon as you can just in case. Everyone is different and withdrawal is unpredictable. The good news is that a week out with some good food and your stomach will start craving food normally.
Congrats on your abstinence. You planning on 12 Step for sobriety?
Oh wow, my 2,000th post. Yay me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 9
Hey guys wanted to update you that I am doing much better! I made a trip to Walmart at 6AM and bought a jug of aloe Vera juice and a 14 tablet pack of Omeprazole ( I found out this is regularly what people get prescribed under my condition) and some more water of course. I Binged watched Seinfeld and sipped on the aloe Vera juice to deal with the pain until around noonish. Then something glorious happened, my stomach was making all sorts of weird noises like I could literally hear it repairing itself and it was more of a dull pain than and intense fire burning pain now.
I manged to pass out at around 1:30 and got 4 hours and 25 minutes according to my fit bit. Which I was not expecting! However, when I awoke I noticed the intense burning pain was back.
At around 6:30 I decided to go to my local gym ( I'm huge into the working out when im not binging - basically has always been my therapy). I did 45 minuted on the elliptical and kept my heart rate up. Then I sat in a sauna for another 20 minutes and drank water.
When I got home I took a shower and began to binge watch more Seinfeld. I started noticing that the burning pain is gone now. So I tried to take a bite of something to eat but still excruciatingly painful going down and lasts for around a minute. But that is significantly better than what I felt like at this time last night. So I know I'm getting better!
I also got emotional between some of this time and teared up when I looked at my calendar that I had circled the 18th and 19th and scribbled under "Worst days ever". I was also picturing myself in the future going to meetings and finally not returning to this stupid lifestyle.
I have said "I will never drink again" maybe around 40-60 times but I feel this time is different.
This calendar needs to be a reminder to me of how bad this month of binging alcohol and drugs, was and I am going to keep it for the whole year.
Because like EddieBuckle said I am a pickle not a ******* cucumber. I will get 3 months sober and think I can have a casual drink with friends but that is a lie. It will end with me in a dark room of littered beer cans wondering how i let this **** happen again.
I still have a foggy brain but I feel as though I am returning to normal. I know the insomnia and the depression are going to be the last things to go but it's okay. And as for the gastritis I know it is healing and really not phasing me mentally anymore.
**** ALCOHOL AND **** GAMBLING. IM DONE!!
Again 
I manged to pass out at around 1:30 and got 4 hours and 25 minutes according to my fit bit. Which I was not expecting! However, when I awoke I noticed the intense burning pain was back.
At around 6:30 I decided to go to my local gym ( I'm huge into the working out when im not binging - basically has always been my therapy). I did 45 minuted on the elliptical and kept my heart rate up. Then I sat in a sauna for another 20 minutes and drank water.
When I got home I took a shower and began to binge watch more Seinfeld. I started noticing that the burning pain is gone now. So I tried to take a bite of something to eat but still excruciatingly painful going down and lasts for around a minute. But that is significantly better than what I felt like at this time last night. So I know I'm getting better!
I also got emotional between some of this time and teared up when I looked at my calendar that I had circled the 18th and 19th and scribbled under "Worst days ever". I was also picturing myself in the future going to meetings and finally not returning to this stupid lifestyle.
I have said "I will never drink again" maybe around 40-60 times but I feel this time is different.
This calendar needs to be a reminder to me of how bad this month of binging alcohol and drugs, was and I am going to keep it for the whole year.
Because like EddieBuckle said I am a pickle not a ******* cucumber. I will get 3 months sober and think I can have a casual drink with friends but that is a lie. It will end with me in a dark room of littered beer cans wondering how i let this **** happen again.
I still have a foggy brain but I feel as though I am returning to normal. I know the insomnia and the depression are going to be the last things to go but it's okay. And as for the gastritis I know it is healing and really not phasing me mentally anymore.
**** ALCOHOL AND **** GAMBLING. IM DONE!!
Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
My first step to recovery started with running out of Lunesta (benzo like) and the pharmacy not filling it because of a date mixup. I was already in alcohol withdrawal, so I started drinking again and ended up at 5-6 bottles of red wine a day, around the clock. Then they put me back on the Lunesta. We tried a librium withdrawal, but I just drank on top of it, so....rehab it was, as by that point the combination would almost definitely caused seizures, if not worse.
I also had a withdrawal in about 2007 from klonopin and alcohol. While my last recovery was probably the most dangerous, the klonopin was by far the most unpleasant, It's a good thing I didn't have a gun or I might well have put a bullet in my head just to make it stop.
I also had horrible gastritis, which is really nasty.
WD from both alcohol and benzos can be very dangerous and hugely unpleasant. Sounds like you're through the worst of it and are still relatively young, but please see a doctor as soon as you can just in case. Everyone is different and withdrawal is unpredictable. The good news is that a week out with some good food and your stomach will start craving food normally.
Congrats on your abstinence. You planning on 12 Step for sobriety?
Oh wow, my 2,000th post. Yay me.
I also had a withdrawal in about 2007 from klonopin and alcohol. While my last recovery was probably the most dangerous, the klonopin was by far the most unpleasant, It's a good thing I didn't have a gun or I might well have put a bullet in my head just to make it stop.
I also had horrible gastritis, which is really nasty.
WD from both alcohol and benzos can be very dangerous and hugely unpleasant. Sounds like you're through the worst of it and are still relatively young, but please see a doctor as soon as you can just in case. Everyone is different and withdrawal is unpredictable. The good news is that a week out with some good food and your stomach will start craving food normally.
Congrats on your abstinence. You planning on 12 Step for sobriety?
Oh wow, my 2,000th post. Yay me.
I no doubt will be going to AA meetings, but not sure of the 12 step (I am nonreligious ). Just want to talk to more people thats been in my shoes and can understand and emphasize with me. I have spoken to my parents so many times ( they are social drinkers) and they never seem to understand my addiction to alcohol or how serious it is.
I could show up drunk to my family Christmas get together and they wouldn't say anything negative about it or be surprised. My parents are good people but people I just can't talk to about this type of stuff with.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,975
WB, it is good to hear you are doing better! Stay strong. It gets better.
As far as your parents, there are and always will be normie drinkers out there. I stopped d trying to analyze why they can continue this way (some actually will not) and why I couldn’t. But the pickle analogy really makes sense. We just marinated in that pickle juice too long. Anyway, those normies will never understand addiction unless they experience it themselves. My husband is a normie. We love each other dearly but he will never fully relate. We still love each other. I’m sure your folks love you too.
I’m glad you are thinking about a long term plan and going to AA. In the early days, the remembrance of how bad your last drunk felt is motivation enough to quit. But this feeling is only short term unless you do the hard work on yourself to change your thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits. All of these things are connected to long term heavy alcohol abuse.
For me to finally get sober, it took individual therapy, a regular yoga and meditation practice, intense cardio, coming to SR daily to check in. I also do 12 steps on my own. I am like you in the sense I am non religious. I call myself agnostic. I have become more spiritual in recovery, however.
I read a book by the actor Russell Brand, “Recovery, Freedon from our addictions” He talks about the 12 steps being for everyone, not just recovering addicts and it is a very secular approach to 12 steps. He is non religious as well. The book is also funny and a good read. Highly recommend.
There’s lots of other good secular 12 step books out there. I also liked One Breath at a Time which is 12 step from a Buddhist perspective.
Lots of support as you continue your journey!
As far as your parents, there are and always will be normie drinkers out there. I stopped d trying to analyze why they can continue this way (some actually will not) and why I couldn’t. But the pickle analogy really makes sense. We just marinated in that pickle juice too long. Anyway, those normies will never understand addiction unless they experience it themselves. My husband is a normie. We love each other dearly but he will never fully relate. We still love each other. I’m sure your folks love you too.
I’m glad you are thinking about a long term plan and going to AA. In the early days, the remembrance of how bad your last drunk felt is motivation enough to quit. But this feeling is only short term unless you do the hard work on yourself to change your thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits. All of these things are connected to long term heavy alcohol abuse.
For me to finally get sober, it took individual therapy, a regular yoga and meditation practice, intense cardio, coming to SR daily to check in. I also do 12 steps on my own. I am like you in the sense I am non religious. I call myself agnostic. I have become more spiritual in recovery, however.
I read a book by the actor Russell Brand, “Recovery, Freedon from our addictions” He talks about the 12 steps being for everyone, not just recovering addicts and it is a very secular approach to 12 steps. He is non religious as well. The book is also funny and a good read. Highly recommend.
There’s lots of other good secular 12 step books out there. I also liked One Breath at a Time which is 12 step from a Buddhist perspective.
Lots of support as you continue your journey!
The opposite of addiction is connection.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by Fearlessat50
WB, it is good to hear you are doing better! Stay strong. It gets better.
As far as your parents, there are and always will be normie drinkers out there. I stopped d trying to analyze why they can continue this way (some actually will not) and why I couldn’t. But the pickle analogy really makes sense. We just marinated in that pickle juice too long. Anyway, those normies will never understand addiction unless they experience it themselves. My husband is a normie. We love each other dearly but he will never fully relate. We still love each other. I’m sure your folks love you too.
I’m glad you are thinking about a long term plan and going to AA. In the early days, the remembrance of how bad your last drunk felt is motivation enough to quit. But this feeling is only short term unless you do the hard work on yourself to change your thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits. All of these things are connected to long term heavy alcohol abuse.
For me to finally get sober, it took individual therapy, a regular yoga and meditation practice, intense cardio, coming to SR daily to check in. I also do 12 steps on my own. I am like you in the sense I am non religious. I call myself agnostic. I have become more spiritual in recovery, however.
I read a book by the actor Russell Brand, “Recovery, Freedon from our addictions” He talks about the 12 steps being for everyone, not just recovering addicts and it is a very secular approach to 12 steps. He is non religious as well. The book is also funny and a good read. Highly recommend.
There’s lots of other good secular 12 step books out there. I also liked One Breath at a Time which is 12 step from a Buddhist perspective.
Lots of support as you continue your journey!
As far as your parents, there are and always will be normie drinkers out there. I stopped d trying to analyze why they can continue this way (some actually will not) and why I couldn’t. But the pickle analogy really makes sense. We just marinated in that pickle juice too long. Anyway, those normies will never understand addiction unless they experience it themselves. My husband is a normie. We love each other dearly but he will never fully relate. We still love each other. I’m sure your folks love you too.
I’m glad you are thinking about a long term plan and going to AA. In the early days, the remembrance of how bad your last drunk felt is motivation enough to quit. But this feeling is only short term unless you do the hard work on yourself to change your thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits. All of these things are connected to long term heavy alcohol abuse.
For me to finally get sober, it took individual therapy, a regular yoga and meditation practice, intense cardio, coming to SR daily to check in. I also do 12 steps on my own. I am like you in the sense I am non religious. I call myself agnostic. I have become more spiritual in recovery, however.
I read a book by the actor Russell Brand, “Recovery, Freedon from our addictions” He talks about the 12 steps being for everyone, not just recovering addicts and it is a very secular approach to 12 steps. He is non religious as well. The book is also funny and a good read. Highly recommend.
There’s lots of other good secular 12 step books out there. I also liked One Breath at a Time which is 12 step from a Buddhist perspective.
Lots of support as you continue your journey!
I consider myself self spiritual but not religious. You’ll find all types in AA, and you can define your higher power as you see fit. I would like it stop you.
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