So what happens to an active alcoholic who doesn't want to stop drinking?
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So what happens to an active alcoholic who doesn't want to stop drinking?
Been in touch with my friend/ex for last few weeks.
He went to go back to a new rehab today but he didn't like it and returned home to his cousins where he's staying. Has been on a Librium detox last few days.
It's clear to me now he doesn't really want to stop drinking bad enough, or is not ready or can't. Whichever it is, my question is what happens to him. His cousin is threatening to kick him out if he continues drinking. He has nowhere else to go. He has hinted at moving to mine but I'm scared/nervous of this idea.
He rang tonight wanting to know if he could come to mine and drink! I told him no. He said great help you are. I turned off phone. I felt bad but thought it for best. Maybe I should have done what someone else said here in another thread and said live and let live? Let him come and drink as that what he wants to do as an adult, but I'm up early tomorrow and need my sleep. Not sure.
He has been to 4 rehabs so far.
So what happens to someone who doesn't want to stop drinking . He's 26 but just can't seem to stop! Does he die? Will he kill himself?
He went to go back to a new rehab today but he didn't like it and returned home to his cousins where he's staying. Has been on a Librium detox last few days.
It's clear to me now he doesn't really want to stop drinking bad enough, or is not ready or can't. Whichever it is, my question is what happens to him. His cousin is threatening to kick him out if he continues drinking. He has nowhere else to go. He has hinted at moving to mine but I'm scared/nervous of this idea.
He rang tonight wanting to know if he could come to mine and drink! I told him no. He said great help you are. I turned off phone. I felt bad but thought it for best. Maybe I should have done what someone else said here in another thread and said live and let live? Let him come and drink as that what he wants to do as an adult, but I'm up early tomorrow and need my sleep. Not sure.
He has been to 4 rehabs so far.
So what happens to someone who doesn't want to stop drinking . He's 26 but just can't seem to stop! Does he die? Will he kill himself?
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His cousin is threatening to kick him out if he continues drinking. He has nowhere else to go. He has hinted at moving to mine but I'm scared/nervous of this idea.
What happens when alcoholics don't stop drinking? They usually die from it. He has had MANY opportunities to get help but always leaves. He left this last time because he didn't like it?? Seriously??
This guy has no intention of quitting. He is trying to manipulate you again. I hope you will not allow him to succeed.
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In this situation, I would recommend taking care of your own needs, not his. It's not like you're helping with his problem. You don't want to be his enabler, which is what he may be after.
I don't know what will happen to him. Can you tell him he can stay if he stops drinking? Suppose he does stop drinking? Do you want him around after that? By the way, are you an alcoholic? That would weigh heavily on your decision.
I don't know what will happen to him. Can you tell him he can stay if he stops drinking? Suppose he does stop drinking? Do you want him around after that? By the way, are you an alcoholic? That would weigh heavily on your decision.
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Originally Posted by DriGuy 
In this situation, I would recommend taking care of your own needs, not his. It's not like you're helping with his problem. You don't want to be his enabler, which is what he may be after.
I don't know what will happen to him. Can you tell him he can stay if he stops drinking? Suppose he does stop drinking? Do you want him around after that? By the way, are you an alcoholic? That would weigh heavily on your decision.
I don't know what will happen to him. Can you tell him he can stay if he stops drinking? Suppose he does stop drinking? Do you want him around after that? By the way, are you an alcoholic? That would weigh heavily on your decision.
I'm not an alcoholic. He could gladly stay here if he got sober but even in a short conversation earlier he more or less admitted he doesn't want to stop.
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Originally Posted by suki44883
Please, please PLEASE do not allow this!! If you do, you will be miserable and will have a difficult time getting him to leave. If his cousin is sick of him and his drinking (even though she was enabling him), then you will very soon get sick of it, too.
What happens when alcoholics don't stop drinking? They usually die from it. He has had MANY opportunities to get help but always leaves. He left this last time because he didn't like it?? Seriously??
This guy has no intention of quitting. He is trying to manipulate you again. I hope you will not allow him to succeed.
What happens when alcoholics don't stop drinking? They usually die from it. He has had MANY opportunities to get help but always leaves. He left this last time because he didn't like it?? Seriously??
This guy has no intention of quitting. He is trying to manipulate you again. I hope you will not allow him to succeed.
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
Yes he may be after an enabler. After I said no he texted and said great help you are!
I'm not an alcoholic. He could gladly stay here if he got sober but even in a short conversation earlier he more or less admitted he doesn't want to stop.
I'm not an alcoholic. He could gladly stay here if he got sober but even in a short conversation earlier he more or less admitted he doesn't want to stop.
If you let him move in with you, it will be a complete and utter disaster.
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Originally Posted by trailmix
Not may be after an enabler Glen - he is after one. No question. "Great help you are" to what? For him to have a warm, comfy place to drink, seriously?
If you let him move in with you, it will be a complete and utter disaster.
If you let him move in with you, it will be a complete and utter disaster.
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His cousin is threatening to kick him out if he continues drinking. He has nowhere else to go. He has hinted at moving to mine but I'm scared/nervous of this idea.
You should be scared, scared mostly that you would even consider this for one second. He is an abusive alcoholic and while I can understand your attachment to him, how you would ever consider having him sponging off you, abusing you, Glen - don't do it!
He rang tonight wanting to know if he could come to mine and drink! I told him no. He said great help you are. I turned off phone. I felt bad but thought it for best. Maybe I should have done what someone else said here in another thread and said live and let live? Let him come and drink as that what he wants to do as an adult, but I'm up early tomorrow and need my sleep. Not sure.
You are misunderstanding "live and let live". No where does it imply - live and let live and let someone else screw up my life and make me miserable and abuse me. It means let them do their own thing.
So what happens to someone who doesn't want to stop drinking . He's 26 but just can't seem to stop! Does he die? Will he kill himself?
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
Been in touch with my friend/ex for last few weeks.
He went to go back to a new rehab today but he didn't like it and returned home to his cousins where he's staying. Has been on a Librium detox last few days.
It's clear to me now he doesn't really want to stop drinking bad enough, or is not ready or can't. Whichever it is, my question is what happens to him. His cousin is threatening to kick him out if he continues drinking. He has nowhere else to go. He has hinted at moving to mine but I'm scared/nervous of this idea.
He rang tonight wanting to know if he could come to mine and drink! I told him no. He said great help you are. I turned off phone. I felt bad but thought it for best. Maybe I should have done what someone else said here in another thread and said live and let live? Let him come and drink as that what he wants to do as an adult, but I'm up early tomorrow and need my sleep. Not sure.
He has been to 4 rehabs so far.
So what happens to someone who doesn't want to stop drinking . He's 26 but just can't seem to stop! Does he die? Will he kill himself?
He went to go back to a new rehab today but he didn't like it and returned home to his cousins where he's staying. Has been on a Librium detox last few days.
It's clear to me now he doesn't really want to stop drinking bad enough, or is not ready or can't. Whichever it is, my question is what happens to him. His cousin is threatening to kick him out if he continues drinking. He has nowhere else to go. He has hinted at moving to mine but I'm scared/nervous of this idea.
He rang tonight wanting to know if he could come to mine and drink! I told him no. He said great help you are. I turned off phone. I felt bad but thought it for best. Maybe I should have done what someone else said here in another thread and said live and let live? Let him come and drink as that what he wants to do as an adult, but I'm up early tomorrow and need my sleep. Not sure.
He has been to 4 rehabs so far.
So what happens to someone who doesn't want to stop drinking . He's 26 but just can't seem to stop! Does he die? Will he kill himself?
Think very carefully what you would be getting yourself into. X
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Originally Posted by Awal
l said 'live and let live' about my AH who is in his late 60s. But l certainly wouldn't get embroiled in this type of situation if it could be avoided.
Think very carefully what you would be getting yourself into. X
Think very carefully what you would be getting yourself into. X
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Originally Posted by trailmix
This guy is so predictable it's kind of amazing. I can guess at his next move and I don't even know him. Him wanting to move in with you was incoming - just had to wait for the cousin to get tired of supporting him and listening to his drunken chatter.
You should be scared, scared mostly that you would even consider this for one second. He is an abusive alcoholic and while I can understand your attachment to him, how you would ever consider having him sponging off you, abusing you, Glen - don't do it!
You felt bad? Why?
You are misunderstanding "live and let live". No where does it imply - live and let live and let someone else screw up my life and make me miserable and abuse me. It means let them do their own thing.
Maybe, maybe not. He's got a very serious addiction problem there, it's running wild and he's letting it.
You should be scared, scared mostly that you would even consider this for one second. He is an abusive alcoholic and while I can understand your attachment to him, how you would ever consider having him sponging off you, abusing you, Glen - don't do it!
You felt bad? Why?
You are misunderstanding "live and let live". No where does it imply - live and let live and let someone else screw up my life and make me miserable and abuse me. It means let them do their own thing.
Maybe, maybe not. He's got a very serious addiction problem there, it's running wild and he's letting it.
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
So what happens to someone who doesn't want to stop drinking . He's 26 but just can't seem to stop! Does he die? Will he kill himself?
My XAH won't stop drinking. He's 52. He threatened to kill himself if I left him our entire relationship. I kicked him our 6+ years ago, he's still alive.
He has churned through more jobs than I can count. Been sacked from most of them. He is now unemployed and welfare dependent.
He has been homeless for about the last 2 years. He was recently housed by a community organization. Homelessness meant that he was absent from our children's lives. Now he has a house, our now adult children go to visit him once a fortnight. He asks them for money. He asks them to take him shopping as he has no money, no car, no drivers' license, used to, not anymore though. Although he asks the kids for "loans" they long ago learned from me that ANY money you "loan" to ANYONE should be undertaken with the thought that you will NEVER see the money again.
He likes to get really drunk and phone our children. He now gives them the same lectures and soliloquies I had to listen to for 20+ years. Just drunken garbage about how the world is being ruined and he knows how to fix it and how women are out to ruin men's lives. He also rants at them and tells them how to be successful at Uni and at work - two things he has never managed to achieve but he sure knows how our kids oughta do it!
RUN AWAY FROM THIS MAN! Save yourself.
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Originally Posted by LLLisa
I don't know what will happen to your addict but I can tell you what has happened to mine:
My XAH won't stop drinking. He's 52. He threatened to kill himself if I left him our entire relationship. I kicked him our 6+ years ago, he's still alive.
He has churned through more jobs than I can count. Been sacked from most of them. He is now unemployed and welfare dependent.
He has been homeless for about the last 2 years. He was recently housed by a community organization. Homelessness meant that he was absent from our children's lives. Now he has a house, our now adult children go to visit him once a fortnight. He asks them for money. He asks them to take him shopping as he has no money, no car, no drivers' license, used to, not anymore though. Although he asks the kids for "loans" they long ago learned from me that ANY money you "loan" to ANYONE should be undertaken with the thought that you will NEVER see the money again.
He likes to get really drunk and phone our children. He now gives them the same lectures and soliloquies I had to listen to for 20+ years. Just drunken garbage about how the world is being ruined and he knows how to fix it and how women are out to ruin men's lives. He also rants at them and tells them how to be successful at Uni and at work - two things he has never managed to achieve but he sure knows how our kids oughta do it!
RUN AWAY FROM THIS MAN! Save yourself.
My XAH won't stop drinking. He's 52. He threatened to kill himself if I left him our entire relationship. I kicked him our 6+ years ago, he's still alive.
He has churned through more jobs than I can count. Been sacked from most of them. He is now unemployed and welfare dependent.
He has been homeless for about the last 2 years. He was recently housed by a community organization. Homelessness meant that he was absent from our children's lives. Now he has a house, our now adult children go to visit him once a fortnight. He asks them for money. He asks them to take him shopping as he has no money, no car, no drivers' license, used to, not anymore though. Although he asks the kids for "loans" they long ago learned from me that ANY money you "loan" to ANYONE should be undertaken with the thought that you will NEVER see the money again.
He likes to get really drunk and phone our children. He now gives them the same lectures and soliloquies I had to listen to for 20+ years. Just drunken garbage about how the world is being ruined and he knows how to fix it and how women are out to ruin men's lives. He also rants at them and tells them how to be successful at Uni and at work - two things he has never managed to achieve but he sure knows how our kids oughta do it!
RUN AWAY FROM THIS MAN! Save yourself.
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
Ok see what you mean. I'm glad I let him do his own thing then tonight. He's probably on phone as we speak trying to see who else he can live with in another country. Yes my attachment is to the sober him which seems rare now.
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Originally Posted by trailmix
Where does the get the money to do this country hopping, having no job?
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
He worked for few weeks this summer and went on sick pay and got it in bulk lately. Also his cousin will do almost anything for him even financially
She probably isn't quite at the end of her rope just yet, the abuse of his friend on the weekend (and him even having a friend over) probably rocked that boat a bit.
I'm guessing he can talk a good talk, so will try to work his way back in to his cushy situation.
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Hope I have the strength to run away.
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
No he has no intention of quitting and admitted it today. His cousin took him off the streets, he will be back on them I'm guessing.
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"So what happens to an active alcoholic who doesn't want to stop drinking?"
The one in my life died a few months ago at age 53 from liver failure.
I am grateful every day that we were no longer in touch so I didn't have a front row seat to that train wreck.
I would strongly suggest you let him go before he pulls you down with him.
The one in my life died a few months ago at age 53 from liver failure.
I am grateful every day that we were no longer in touch so I didn't have a front row seat to that train wreck.
I would strongly suggest you let him go before he pulls you down with him.
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
So what happens to someone who doesn't want to stop drinking .
locked up
covered up
or
sobered up.
please dont help dig his grave because you'll be diggin it for 2 only you wont physically die- only mentally and emotionally.
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