Marcutah1

I made 5 months sober before a big life altering event happened. Within a matter of days I turned 65 and got laid off the next week. I did what i do best and took a couple of days and sat on the banks of my favorite river to contemplate my next moves. My AV won this time and I got some alcohol with the intent of making it last the time is was away. Yeah right. Needless to say I got messed up and it took 3 days to feel normal again. That was 3 weeks ago to this day. To make matters worse there are now 2 new liquor stores in my daily travels. All of this to say that my AV has been raging. I have had so many conversations with him that when I tell my wife or friend who is helping me get through this I refer to it as Harvey after the Jimmy Stewart movie. Anybody else name their AV?

DreamCatcher17

Welcome back!

I personally don't name my AV, it does deserve that kind of respect to have an actual name- That is my view. anyways.
Keeping the "alcohol" in the name is a good enough reminder for myself, what that crap does to me.

You can get through this. Life happens, number 1 priority is to not to buy it, so you won't drink it.
Change your driving route even if you go out of your way, it is better than succumbing to the AV.

Dee74

Hi Marcutah - I'm sorry for all the upheaval in your life, but congrats on 3 weeks

The main thing i had to realise was - no matter how sucky life got or how many liquor stores were near me (I have about 5 within walking distance) - drinking did not help.

do you have any kind of recovery plan or are you just playing this by ear?

D

Marcutah1

Hi Dee, I had been seeing a counselor and we both thought I was at a place that I could see him when I felt it was necessary. The decision to drink happened when I was by myself and I reasoned that no body would know. So much for that. I have a friend who I can call when the voice gets to loud and my wife to help me through the tough parts of the day. I just need to get past the AV again. It had quieted down until that fatal camp trip it just feels like it is going to be harder this time around.

Guener

My AV has been largely dormant over the past few months, but I know it's there. It's kind of a creepy idea that this thing is lurking like a monster, but just that I know about it, I can usually just acknowledge it and it goes away. Know thine enemy is alcohol is good enough for me.

Today I chose not to go to an event sponsored by my employer where there would be people drinking. I just don't need that kind of picture around me now, nothing to stir old feelings or grief over my "loss" of the alcohol. I'm pretty sure that had I gone my AV would be louder than I care to hear. I didn't feel like I was missing out on a thing and was/am happy with my choice.

You can overcome that nagging feeling, but it's not easy when faced with loss or when feeling alone.

Marcutah1

Hi Guener, funny thing is my wife is away helping her sister deal with the loss of her husband. So between being newly unemployed AND her being out of town I am leaning on this place to keep me from succumbing to the cries of the past.

Dee74

I had to come up with a good answer to that and some of my best were

• I would know - and I'm every bit as important and worthy of self care as anyone else
  
• The way I'II drink I soon lose control and it'll be no secret anyway,guaranteed
  
• My wife always knows anyway, I'm not that smart.
  
• I used to skulk around like this when I was 15. If its a shameful thing I'm doing, best stop doing it.
  
• There's got to be a better purpose to my day than getting drunk - go help someone else for petes sake....

I'm sure you get the idea

D

Marcutah1

Dee, two of the biggest things I push to the front when my AV is loud is 1, I dislike the feeling the next morning and 2, I have bad heartburn the next day. That alone should keep me from faltering. I also want to say that I told everyone who has help me make 5 months that I messes up. It was hardest telling my wife. We are talking and texting more this trip to her sisters than any other time in the past and that is helping for sure.