hummingbird358

Adult child started IOP last week after completing a 30 day residential treatment program. Seemed to be fine with it and enjoying it. This past weekend told me how his depression is getting worse and had made an appointment with a counselor at IOP.

I called his IOP and left them know about the depression and they told me they are aware of it. They also said he is engaging in IOP and that was a huge plus.
So tonight I get this text from him that he doesn't like IOP.. He doesn't like that they watch movies...he is bored
I am a complete mess again. I doubt I will sleep tonight again.
I replied that it is only 3 nights a week. It keeps him accountable. He meets others in recovery and makes friends.
Other than saying I will be done with you if you don't follow through I don't know what to say. He is the one who agreed to go to IOP. We wanted him to do IOP and sober living but he refused the sober living.
I can see him slipping. I feel his depression is getting to him. He is to get the vivitrol shot next week. He is to meet with his psychiatrist as well next week.

I want to say to him that I feel his addiction is trying to get to him again and that he needs to fight through this or it will win.
Not sure if my counselor would approve of that.

I can't keep going down this road with him. We are financially and emotionally drained.

any advice as to what to say if he brings up not doing IOP

Mango212

Perhaps simply don't reply to texts like these?

(((hugs)))

When his illness is baiting him and you, you don't need to respond.

dandylion

hummingbird......I would refer him to his sponsor....(he is supposed to be going to AA...do, he should have a sponsor...even a temporary one)….He should be calling his sponsor, rather than you.....

LovePeaceSushi

Has he signed paperwork with the treatment center allowing them to discuss his treatment with you? If so, you could call the IOP directly and tell them what's going on.

hummingbird358

I plan on calling them again. I have called everyday this week. I have left them know that his depression is getting worse. When I spoke to his therapist prior to him seeing her, she mentioned that maybe his medication would need to be adjusted.
He sent me a text last evening that he is going to double his prozac. I told him he should talk to his doctor first but of course then I never receive a reply.

Seren

Oh hummingbird

It is hard when the people we love aren't doing well! I get it.

I used to let the emotions of others become my emotions. That was really true for me with my ex-husband. When I came home from work, I never knew what I was going to find or how the evening would go. Would he (we) be in a good mood or a bad mood?

It wasn't until after the divorce and through therapy of my own for a while, that I recognized what I was doing and began to learn how to stop it. Detachment--what a concept! Other people are actually completely separate from me! They have their own lives, their own thoughts, their own feelings that *aren't* mine. I have my own thoughts and feelings--and that's plenty!

I hope that someday soon your loved one will find his way...and that you will come to know peace whether or not your loved one is sober or struggling.

hopeful4

Remain calm. Let him know that no where did they promise it would be an exciting picnic. It's there, as you said, for him to work and be accountable.

Let go friend, he has to do this.