I'm back... again. Again. Again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 71
I'm back... again. Again. Again.
I'm not sure what's more depressing, the ****** way I accorded myself over the weekend that led me back here or reading back through my old threads from 6 years ago and seeing how far I haven't come. I'm a binge drinker who sometimes controls themselves, but the times I don't can be pretty bad. There's literally no reason for me to drink because I don't ever want one drink. I want all the drinks or none, and I want to stick to none for my health, my sanity, my relationships, my job, my life. Everything is better when I don't drink and I've let myself forget that.
So, here I am, Day 2. Thanks for taking me back.
So, here I am, Day 2. Thanks for taking me back.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
WH - welcome back. Takes courage and humility to show back here again, I've done the same - and those two traits can help keep us sober.
I also joined years ago. But it is never too late to get sober.
Congrats on day 2. What is your plan?
I also joined years ago. But it is never too late to get sober.
Congrats on day 2. What is your plan?
I hope you'll utilize this site to help you get sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Glen Allen, Va
Posts: 2,589
Welcome back! I'm the same way. There's no point in me trying to have a drink or two. I always drank to get black out drunk. So it's all or nothing. I'm much happier now with it being nothing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 71
Thank you all! I'm working on my plan, I know I need one. Because I don't drink frequently, but when I do it can be blackout central, I'm looking forward to future plans and seeing where I need to change some social plans:
- was planning a small party next month, but I might just totally cancel it. I'll talk to SO about that tonight.
- planning out an exercise routine. This does double duty as I can use it as a reason to not drink. "Sorry, got a run planned in the AM."
- check in here daily
That's what I've got so far. I spoke to my SO yesterday and he was a little flippant (he was hungover and likely feeling a bit of shame for the way he acted, too), but I wrote him a more detailed e-mail today about the distress my drinking is causing me and he was more supportive. I might bookmark that e-mail should his (or my) resolve start to slip as a reminder of how we want to be there for each other. I told him the most important support he could give me was just to believe me when I say "I don't want to drink any more and I want to take steps to commit to sobriety."
Any thoughts or suggestions? I'm just dreading facing some people tonight that I was drunk in front of and really shouldn't have been. It's all the worse because I don't remember how I acted, what I said, and although the details I've pieced together from other friends that were there weren't "that bad" it wasn't good, either, and I'm just so ashamed. I don't want to have those conversations any more.
- was planning a small party next month, but I might just totally cancel it. I'll talk to SO about that tonight.
- planning out an exercise routine. This does double duty as I can use it as a reason to not drink. "Sorry, got a run planned in the AM."
- check in here daily
That's what I've got so far. I spoke to my SO yesterday and he was a little flippant (he was hungover and likely feeling a bit of shame for the way he acted, too), but I wrote him a more detailed e-mail today about the distress my drinking is causing me and he was more supportive. I might bookmark that e-mail should his (or my) resolve start to slip as a reminder of how we want to be there for each other. I told him the most important support he could give me was just to believe me when I say "I don't want to drink any more and I want to take steps to commit to sobriety."
Any thoughts or suggestions? I'm just dreading facing some people tonight that I was drunk in front of and really shouldn't have been. It's all the worse because I don't remember how I acted, what I said, and although the details I've pieced together from other friends that were there weren't "that bad" it wasn't good, either, and I'm just so ashamed. I don't want to have those conversations any more.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I'm glad you're here and that you're on Day 2.
You can make the choice to never drink again and then you won't have to worry about dealing with the aftermath. Rethinking the party sounds like a good idea. Exercise is always helpful. I'm glad you're committed to sobriety.
You can make the choice to never drink again and then you won't have to worry about dealing with the aftermath. Rethinking the party sounds like a good idea. Exercise is always helpful. I'm glad you're committed to sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome back! I first joined in March I'd 2012, but made my first serious attempt at sobriety in October 2012. I made it 90+ days, and then thought "I can have one glass of wine..." long story, short, I couldn't. I spent the next three three years alternating between short periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation.
On December 31, 2015 I had my last drink. There was no defining moment, I was just done feeling less than my best all the time. It wasn't easy in the beginning, yet it was so worth it.
I posted and read here daily, and still do. The January of 2016 class was an instrumental piece of my support, and so were many others on SR. I focused on healthy choices across the board. Exercise and mindfulness are big parts of my plan, I find being outdoors each day and walking and enjoying nature always helps to ground me. Mindfulness had been a huge part of my plan, staying focused in the present and not dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future really helps.
You can do this. Looking forward to seeing you here each day!!
❤️Delilah
On December 31, 2015 I had my last drink. There was no defining moment, I was just done feeling less than my best all the time. It wasn't easy in the beginning, yet it was so worth it.
I posted and read here daily, and still do. The January of 2016 class was an instrumental piece of my support, and so were many others on SR. I focused on healthy choices across the board. Exercise and mindfulness are big parts of my plan, I find being outdoors each day and walking and enjoying nature always helps to ground me. Mindfulness had been a huge part of my plan, staying focused in the present and not dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future really helps.
You can do this. Looking forward to seeing you here each day!!
❤️Delilah
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,280
Hello,
If at first you don't succeed try, try, try again!
You could introduce yourself over on the Class of August 2018 thread for ongoing support with others you have also stopped drinking this month:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-three-8.html
Good luck,
John
If at first you don't succeed try, try, try again!
You could introduce yourself over on the Class of August 2018 thread for ongoing support with others you have also stopped drinking this month:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-three-8.html
Good luck,
John
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Cardiff
Posts: 144
I’m in a very similar stage of recovery to you. Six or so years of trying. I’ve had some good periods of sobriety and I’ve had a few (quite a few) relapses.
I’m probably not the best person to give you advice but for what it’s worth making a few commitments in life can make you more accountable. I’ve started coaching my sons under 7 football team. It’s great fun and I really enjoy it. It also has the added advantage of starting at 9am every Saturday morning so there is no way I can drink the night before. I’ve also joined a business club which meets once a week for breakfast at 6.30am so again I can’t drink the night before.
I’m a binge drinker too, but I have found, especially over this summer, my drinking is definitely increasing. I don’t drink everyday but the gaps between dry days are becoming longer. I’m starting again just like you. I’ve committed to a 90 day challenge just to get me started. I’ve told as many people as I can that I’m doing this challenge. I’m hoping this will give me the support and encouragement I need and I wont want to let them down. I don’t know what I’m doing after the challenge but I’ve got 90 days to figure that out!
Good luck.
I’m probably not the best person to give you advice but for what it’s worth making a few commitments in life can make you more accountable. I’ve started coaching my sons under 7 football team. It’s great fun and I really enjoy it. It also has the added advantage of starting at 9am every Saturday morning so there is no way I can drink the night before. I’ve also joined a business club which meets once a week for breakfast at 6.30am so again I can’t drink the night before.
I’m a binge drinker too, but I have found, especially over this summer, my drinking is definitely increasing. I don’t drink everyday but the gaps between dry days are becoming longer. I’m starting again just like you. I’ve committed to a 90 day challenge just to get me started. I’ve told as many people as I can that I’m doing this challenge. I’m hoping this will give me the support and encouragement I need and I wont want to let them down. I don’t know what I’m doing after the challenge but I’ve got 90 days to figure that out!
Good luck.
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