Mango212

"There can be different levels of DUI offenses. In some cases, this can depend on blood alcohol content at the time of driving. For example, a drunk driver can still get charged with a DUI if the BAC is under .08 percent, but prosecutors might offer a plea bargain to another, related charge like reckless driving. A BAC over twice the legal limit can mean a charge of extreme or aggravated DUI.

Having a child in the car can also be an aggravating factor in DUI charging and sentencing. Penalties for extreme DUIs are even more severe than standard DUIs, and having a child in the car can bump what is normally a misdemeanor up to felony DUI.

Child Abuse and Endangerment

Parents, custodians, and caregivers are all responsible for a minor child's well-being. Any intentional, careless, or negligent act that results in imminent risk or serious harm to a child's health and welfare can be charged as child abuse or child endangerment.

As a parent, is my right to have safe environments for my children. With addiction/alcoholism there is no "never would do that", simply levels of "haven't done that yet". Many forms of minimization and denial also have many answers of applying recovery tools to see through the haze, chaos and confusion of dealing with active alcoholism.

Laws can be supportive tools of protection for families of alcoholics. It's a journey of allowing more support and help into our lives.

Prayer. Meditation. Opening my heart to new ideas, hope and clarity.

alwayscovering

My youngest is not allowed to ride with my AH. I make arrangements for myself or someone else to transport him. My oldest always asks to drive if they are going somewhere because he's not sure when AH is drinking but knows it's a lot :-(

clarity888

I wish I knew how many times my child was "endangered". There definitely is a s-ton of minimization done about "I was fine to drive". I honestly don't ever see my AH admitting he should not have been driving with our child in the car. He likes to mention they only would go from our house to school during school pickup, you know, short trips. Before he'd had enough to be "drunk". What he will be finding out is that now that I know that's been happening (being so drunk daily, and therefore HAVING to have had some before school got out)...you can't get my forgiveness for that one! I have no idea how I could ever forgive this part of active alcoholism. I can't even forgive myself for not seeing that it was happening.

honeypig

I think I know how you feel, clarity, but in Alanon you'll hear it said that we don't know what we don't know--how could we? And also you'll hear "when we know better, we do better." Don't be too hard on yourself. What IS important is what you do w/that knowledge now that you have it.

Forward12

Are your children being exposed to drunken driving? If so, contact the authorities immediately.

Mango212

No.

I'm doing everything possible to ensure it doesn't happen.

The title of this post came from the article, which is in bold type.

Forward12

The unbolded part is what I, and what you should be the most concerned about.

Mango212

Wow.

I'm confused about that.

Mango212

Perhaps better worded as "all children have the right to safe environments".

I'll extend on that, as I also have the right to safe environments. My thoughts, as they came in reference to this article, was with children.

From my experience, what I've learned at Alanon, stories from friends in AA and family weeks at two different rehab centers. Referring to the active alcoholism.

Mango212

What I've learned in reaching out for help with lawyers, domestic abuse help centers (emotional abuse in alcoholic households is a type of abuse) and law enforcement personnel.

God guides me. Universe/Great Spirit/whatever name resonates.

Sasha1972

My court order governing parenting has a paragraph saying that ex is not permitted to operate a vehicle in which Kid is a passenger. This doesn't mean that he won't drive, as he has been caught driving with a suspended license and has DUI charges. But if he does drive with Kid, he loses unsupervised visits (which he currently doesn't have anyway).

The para is there to short-circuit any arguments about how drunk is too drunk, he can prove he was sober, etc. No driving with Kid at all.

Mango212

Hi Sasha,

Thank you for sharing this. My alcoholic husband doesn't currently have access to our 11 year old son. Last winter when he was sober I didn't fight about him driving with kid. If it comes up again, I'm going to be ready to.

Mango212

Revisiting this subject today.

Does anyone else have successful experience with courts or mediation with keeping an alcoholic/addict parent from driving their child?

4MyBoys

No advice right now, because my XAH lost custody, again, after getting a DUI last summer (didn't lose custody for that) and then started to unravel at the end of last year (lost it for some of that).

Something my lawyer said has stuck with me. That statistically a drunk driver has driven legally drunk 80 times before their first arrest. I think my XAH was closer to 1000 but that is another story.

My orders do have a no drinking for 24 hours before or during the visit. If you have something like this and suspect he has been drinking when you pick up, call the police. Don't hesitate. I spent too many years worry, "What if I'm wrong?" I would have saved my kids a lot of pain if I had acted on my instincts.

4MyBoys