I said NO
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: somewhere, IL
Posts: 2
I said NO
Thank you to everyone who responded to my "Take the Keys" story. I found courage in your responses and advice. When my AH insisted that I drive him to get his drugs yesterday afternoon, I said NO for the first time. He went by himself, I didn't fight him for my keys but told him that if he got caught by the police I would tell them that he took my car against my will. I worried about his and others saftey on the road but reminded myself every minute he was gone, if he hurt someone it was his fault, not mine. It felt good not to sit in a car scared of the creepy people in that neighborhood. It felt even better to be in control of myself. It has been soooo long since I have felt that. I also went to my first Alonon meeting last night. I must say that I was shocked to find out that there are so many others just like me. When you are going through this it feels like you are the only one on earth...you are so alone. Thank you for helping me see that I am NOT alone. I have to say that the most shocking thing came of my reactions....when I got home from work today, my husband had made an appointment with an addiction counselor. He is going tommorrow at !:00. I am not going to get my hopes up but it is the first time he has done anything about his problem since I have known him (3years). Thank you again everyone.
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Congratulations Reagan, its a good first step for you. A few things to keep in mind.... his addiction and his recovery are HIS issues.... your recovery is YOUR stuff and that's what you can control to some extent. Its good that you have begun to set boundaries, but don't be surprised if he pushes a little harder for you to go back to your old behaviors. That is very common when we are first setting and maintaining boundaries.
Even if he doesnt find his way to recovery this time around, you will find an incredible support system by going to Al Anon. I really recommend that you continue to go!
Lots of hugs and love
Barb
Even if he doesnt find his way to recovery this time around, you will find an incredible support system by going to Al Anon. I really recommend that you continue to go!
Lots of hugs and love
Barb
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
hey reagan - welcome and glad to see you took the plunge early and stood your ground! good luck and keep going to meetings and coming here. until you actually lock into the recovery process you do feel very alone and it is a GREAT feeling when you know you are not alone in our struggle against this wicked disease! hang in!
higs - cwohio
higs - cwohio
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