Feeling shameful
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Feeling shameful
Hi everyone,
I just had a relapse after 29 days sober.
I could feel it coming on because I was feeling really uncomfortable.... tension headaches, not sleeping well, fogginess and a lot of rage. It gets worse... I proceeded to go on a social media site and publicly flog the relative of an old friend (who kept posting undesirable comments on my page) with some hurtful and private information about my friend. Completely severed that relationship and embarrassed myself. It’s so scary how I lose control. It seems that any time I drink now, I sever a relationship. I wish I could go back in time and stop the behavior from happening. Can anyone relate?
I just had a relapse after 29 days sober.
I could feel it coming on because I was feeling really uncomfortable.... tension headaches, not sleeping well, fogginess and a lot of rage. It gets worse... I proceeded to go on a social media site and publicly flog the relative of an old friend (who kept posting undesirable comments on my page) with some hurtful and private information about my friend. Completely severed that relationship and embarrassed myself. It’s so scary how I lose control. It seems that any time I drink now, I sever a relationship. I wish I could go back in time and stop the behavior from happening. Can anyone relate?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 342
Hi absolutely 100%.
I recently had 31 days and have been struggling to find a foothold ever since.
I am clawing my way back though!
It was unwanted attention from a woman for me, just put my head into a tailspin it took 5 days for it to totally engulf me before I relapsed
Got all out of sync emotionally.. rage lust obsession frustration! Nightmare! Control!
I've got a new sponsor now we haven't got of to a great start because I've been drinking again but I'm abstinent today👍so that's good.
Are you in the 12 step program?
I need other people to help me SR isn't enough for me it's part if a package of tools I can access.
BTW Shame yes it's a poison so crippling . Don't need that toxic emotion running riot!!
I draw strength from my 31 days and will now come back stronger you can too!
I recently had 31 days and have been struggling to find a foothold ever since.
I am clawing my way back though!
It was unwanted attention from a woman for me, just put my head into a tailspin it took 5 days for it to totally engulf me before I relapsed
Got all out of sync emotionally.. rage lust obsession frustration! Nightmare! Control!
I've got a new sponsor now we haven't got of to a great start because I've been drinking again but I'm abstinent today👍so that's good.
Are you in the 12 step program?
I need other people to help me SR isn't enough for me it's part if a package of tools I can access.
BTW Shame yes it's a poison so crippling . Don't need that toxic emotion running riot!!
I draw strength from my 31 days and will now come back stronger you can too!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I encourage you to come up with a plan for how you handle the build up before the relapse. Sometimes just quitting the booze isn't enough. Learning to live life and cope with emotional, physical challenges is really the meat and potatoes of recovery.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 205
I will be completely honest, you need a plan and one that you stick to. No more of this "well I planned, I wished, I wanted etc". Start taking responsibility of your actions. NOTHING justifies drinking, only you. Its your choice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 
I encourage you to come up with a plan for how you handle the build up before the relapse. Sometimes just quitting the booze isn't enough. Learning to live life and cope with emotional, physical challenges is really the meat and potatoes of recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Ghoster18
Hi absolutely 100%.
I recently had 31 days and have been struggling to find a foothold ever since.
I am clawing my way back though!
It was unwanted attention from a woman for me, just put my head into a tailspin it took 5 days for it to totally engulf me before I relapsed
Got all out of sync emotionally.. rage lust obsession frustration! Nightmare! Control!
I've got a new sponsor now we haven't got of to a great start because I've been drinking again but I'm abstinent today👍so that's good.
Are you in the 12 step program?
I need other people to help me SR isn't enough for me it's part if a package of tools I can access.
BTW Shame yes it's a poison so crippling . Don't need that toxic emotion running riot!!
I draw strength from my 31 days and will now come back stronger you can too!
I recently had 31 days and have been struggling to find a foothold ever since.
I am clawing my way back though!
It was unwanted attention from a woman for me, just put my head into a tailspin it took 5 days for it to totally engulf me before I relapsed
Got all out of sync emotionally.. rage lust obsession frustration! Nightmare! Control!
I've got a new sponsor now we haven't got of to a great start because I've been drinking again but I'm abstinent today👍so that's good.
Are you in the 12 step program?
I need other people to help me SR isn't enough for me it's part if a package of tools I can access.
BTW Shame yes it's a poison so crippling . Don't need that toxic emotion running riot!!
I draw strength from my 31 days and will now come back stronger you can too!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Dean1978
I will be completely honest, you need a plan and one that you stick to. No more of this "well I planned, I wished, I wanted etc". Start taking responsibility of your actions. NOTHING justifies drinking, only you. Its your choice
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Hell yeah, CAC1013! I am a sister in crime with you! One more reason to work at recovery is that (we) probably won't post insulting or stoopid remarks as (I have been) guilty of posting while under the influence.
I am thankful for having found SR as it allows me to not feel like I am the only one fighting these demons.
I am thankful for having found SR as it allows me to not feel like I am the only one fighting these demons.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 342
Tough love for me now
Its the only way through and out Into a quality existence!
I'm reading
The saboteur within by Matt Hudson an AA sponsor with many good sober years recommended it!
Remember... Alone we must do it But we can't do it Alone!
I need SR but more importantly for me I need eyeballing, real physical connections meetings phone calls and a daily plan to help.me overcome this problem.
Sending you best wishes
G
Its the only way through and out Into a quality existence!
I'm reading
The saboteur within by Matt Hudson an AA sponsor with many good sober years recommended it!
Remember... Alone we must do it But we can't do it Alone!
I need SR but more importantly for me I need eyeballing, real physical connections meetings phone calls and a daily plan to help.me overcome this problem.
Sending you best wishes
G
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Ghoster18
Tough love for me now
Its the only way through and out Into a quality existence!
I'm reading
The saboteur within by Matt Hudson an AA sponsor with many good sober years recommended it!
alone.
Remember... Alone we must do it But we can't do it Alone!
I need SR but more importantly for me I need eyeballing, real physical connections meetings phone calls and a daily plan to help.me overcome this problem.
Sending you best wishes
G
Its the only way through and out Into a quality existence!
I'm reading
The saboteur within by Matt Hudson an AA sponsor with many good sober years recommended it!
alone.
Remember... Alone we must do it But we can't do it Alone!
I need SR but more importantly for me I need eyeballing, real physical connections meetings phone calls and a daily plan to help.me overcome this problem.
Sending you best wishes
G
Thank you so much, G! I will check out that book. I’m definitely hearing from you all that I can’t do this alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 32
YES!!!
When I was about 23 I was trashed and msged an old childhood friend that I hadn’t spoken to since we were kids. That I was going to kill myself 🤦🏻*♀️🤦🏻*♀️🤦🏻*♀️🤦🏻*♀️
Me and alcohol and social media are a cataclysmic mixture. I’m 99% sure that goes for all addicts and alcoholics.
POSTING under the influence, PUI, just stay away
The shame will pass I promise
When I was about 23 I was trashed and msged an old childhood friend that I hadn’t spoken to since we were kids. That I was going to kill myself 🤦🏻*♀️🤦🏻*♀️🤦🏻*♀️🤦🏻*♀️
Me and alcohol and social media are a cataclysmic mixture. I’m 99% sure that goes for all addicts and alcoholics.
POSTING under the influence, PUI, just stay away
The shame will pass I promise
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
Yes, quitting drinking for me always exposes me to my underlying issues - repressed anger, shame, self-esteem issues, or whatever they may be. Unfortuneltely, it can be an eye-opening and painful experience when you take away the numbing effects of alcohol.
I’m learning there’s only one way and that’s to deal with it head on. That means recovery methods, therapy, meditation, or whatever you choose. Yea, there are still times I want a drink (at 52 days), but drinking simply never solves anything and leaves me back at square one - alone, defeated, grasping for help.
FEAR - Face everything and recover or **** everything and run
Welcome back, I’ve relapsed many times. Hope you can put a plan in place that works this time. You can do it!
I’m learning there’s only one way and that’s to deal with it head on. That means recovery methods, therapy, meditation, or whatever you choose. Yea, there are still times I want a drink (at 52 days), but drinking simply never solves anything and leaves me back at square one - alone, defeated, grasping for help.
FEAR - Face everything and recover or **** everything and run
Welcome back, I’ve relapsed many times. Hope you can put a plan in place that works this time. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome back! Posting here is a good start. Here is a link to recovery plans, it really helped me to have multiple levels to my recovery plan.
When I first decided to get sober I really just focused on not drinking. I wasn't thinking about having s plan that truly addressed my physical, mental and spiritual needs. I did that January 1, 2016, and have bee sober since that date.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
When I first decided to get sober I really just focused on not drinking. I wasn't thinking about having s plan that truly addressed my physical, mental and spiritual needs. I did that January 1, 2016, and have bee sober since that date.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
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