When did “it get better” for you?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 280
When did “it get better” for you?
I’m 34 days in.
It’s been pretty smooth so far, thankfully. But I know challenges will come.
Today has been a little tough. Not sure why but more just filling the void. Family is coming over and we are going out to dinner tonight. Wish I could have a few beers.
Those in early sobriety constantly hear everyone else say... “keep going. It gets better!” “It so worth it!”
My therapist tells me the same as a former drinker herself. She’s been sober 20 years.
When did it click? At one point did “it get better and become so worth it” to you?
How did you know? I haven’t been clock watching as much as I thought I would, but definitely have a case of the blues today.
It’s been pretty smooth so far, thankfully. But I know challenges will come.
Today has been a little tough. Not sure why but more just filling the void. Family is coming over and we are going out to dinner tonight. Wish I could have a few beers.
Those in early sobriety constantly hear everyone else say... “keep going. It gets better!” “It so worth it!”
My therapist tells me the same as a former drinker herself. She’s been sober 20 years.
When did it click? At one point did “it get better and become so worth it” to you?
How did you know? I haven’t been clock watching as much as I thought I would, but definitely have a case of the blues today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Great work on your sobriety. 34 days is really an accomplishment and you should be proud.
When did it get better? I am 9 months sober this time around. It got better for me after a few months of restructuring my time. My drinking was over the top, in my opinion. As soon as I walked away from the alcohol and let my head space gain more clarity I did start to feel better physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
All those facets are extremely important to me.
When removing alcohol or any habit, addiction, what have you.... I think it is important to replace that removal with something that is healthy. Because I have always been a runner, I started to run daily as alcohol did not get in the way of my energy levels and health any longer. I focus on running and gaining physical strength. This keeps my mood level and in check.
It is true that it gets better but if we think about drinking and that we want to drink it could be torture. I dont want to drink. I dont want a glass of wine. Its a pros and cons for me. I know that the "wanting" leads to more thoughts of that action and Its not an option. So, if the thought of drinking comes in to play I have to look at the reason why I am thinking in those terms. Mainly, I get overwhelmed emotionally and this could lead to wanting to escape. I now see the "overwhelmed state" through and know that it will pass soon enough. A rewiring of my brain, if you will.
Keep moving forward!
When did it get better? I am 9 months sober this time around. It got better for me after a few months of restructuring my time. My drinking was over the top, in my opinion. As soon as I walked away from the alcohol and let my head space gain more clarity I did start to feel better physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
All those facets are extremely important to me.
When removing alcohol or any habit, addiction, what have you.... I think it is important to replace that removal with something that is healthy. Because I have always been a runner, I started to run daily as alcohol did not get in the way of my energy levels and health any longer. I focus on running and gaining physical strength. This keeps my mood level and in check.
It is true that it gets better but if we think about drinking and that we want to drink it could be torture. I dont want to drink. I dont want a glass of wine. Its a pros and cons for me. I know that the "wanting" leads to more thoughts of that action and Its not an option. So, if the thought of drinking comes in to play I have to look at the reason why I am thinking in those terms. Mainly, I get overwhelmed emotionally and this could lead to wanting to escape. I now see the "overwhelmed state" through and know that it will pass soon enough. A rewiring of my brain, if you will.
Keep moving forward!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Everybody is different.
For me I was pretty rock solid after 3 months.
And as the years go by,4 1/2 now, it gets to the point where you rarely think about it.
But, one must stay guarded all the time. Especially around the holidays.
One thing that helps me is I kind of have a chip on my shoulder about my sobriety. Take pride in the fact that you took the high road. Many do not and take the low road(6 ft. under).
For me I was pretty rock solid after 3 months.
And as the years go by,4 1/2 now, it gets to the point where you rarely think about it.
But, one must stay guarded all the time. Especially around the holidays.
One thing that helps me is I kind of have a chip on my shoulder about my sobriety. Take pride in the fact that you took the high road. Many do not and take the low road(6 ft. under).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Plymouth, MI
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by RUL23 
I’m 34 days in.
It’s been pretty smooth so far, thankfully. But I know challenges will come.
Today has been a little tough. Not sure why but more just filling the void. Family is coming over and we are going out to dinner tonight. Wish I could have a few beers.
Those in early sobriety constantly hear everyone else say... “keep going. It gets better!” “It so worth it!”
My therapist tells me the same as a former drinker herself. She’s been sober 20 years.
When did it click? At one point did “it get better and become so worth it” to you?
How did you know? I haven’t been clock watching as much as I thought I would, but definitely have a case of the blues today.
It’s been pretty smooth so far, thankfully. But I know challenges will come.
Today has been a little tough. Not sure why but more just filling the void. Family is coming over and we are going out to dinner tonight. Wish I could have a few beers.
Those in early sobriety constantly hear everyone else say... “keep going. It gets better!” “It so worth it!”
My therapist tells me the same as a former drinker herself. She’s been sober 20 years.
When did it click? At one point did “it get better and become so worth it” to you?
How did you know? I haven’t been clock watching as much as I thought I would, but definitely have a case of the blues today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I would say at 6-8 months I started realizing that I wasn't thinking about drinking much. I have developed new interests and habits and I'm very happy with them. The same will happen to you....have faith. Congratulations.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
I would say after the first few months things started to just click. The first mo th or two I was so focused on not drinking, then I started to shift my focus to recovery and healthy choices, and that really helped. Over time the thoughts of drinking rarely popped into my head, and at close to the two year mark I feel better physically and emotionally.
Everyone that is telling you it keeps getting better is telling the truth. What are you doing for recovery?
Everyone that is telling you it keeps getting better is telling the truth. What are you doing for recovery?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
I think that is quite difficult to answer! I don't have this "wow I have so much energy" etc that some people get but I know that I am physically healthier & my anxiety is much better than it was. I still have work to do though in that I need to fit some exercise in & eat less chocolate!! Evil chocolate! 
I will have 90 days tomorrow. My original plan was just to do 90 days but I realised that I'd just to back to daily drinking in the long term so I decided to quit completely. I'm proud of this decision and know it is a good thing for me. However everyone has their down days, that is just normal life.
Maybe just don't expect some sort of "zing" magic? It is different for everyone but worth it in different ways for everyone I'm sure.
Well done on 34 days!!
I will have 90 days tomorrow. My original plan was just to do 90 days but I realised that I'd just to back to daily drinking in the long term so I decided to quit completely. I'm proud of this decision and know it is a good thing for me. However everyone has their down days, that is just normal life.
Maybe just don't expect some sort of "zing" magic? It is different for everyone but worth it in different ways for everyone I'm sure.
Well done on 34 days!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
34 Days is fantastic!! 
For me it was a few months, it definitely takes some time to get your feet under the table in terms of a new Sober lifestyle, not simply clinging onto not drinking, but starting to begin to appreciate the benefits that Sobriety can bring!!
You'll get there!!
For me it was a few months, it definitely takes some time to get your feet under the table in terms of a new Sober lifestyle, not simply clinging onto not drinking, but starting to begin to appreciate the benefits that Sobriety can bring!!
You'll get there!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
When did it click? At one point did “it get better and become so worth it” to you?
How did you know?
about 6 months. iknew because thats when i made a full 24 hours without thinking about alcohol.
worth every second of fight.
How did you know?
about 6 months. iknew because thats when i made a full 24 hours without thinking about alcohol.
worth every second of fight.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
For me, at about 7 months (just after it got a lot worse at 6 months). The getting worse had given me the gift of desperation, so I finally got a sponsor and started working on my recovery in earnest. Was it about time? Or about putting the work in? I.m not sure, but I suspect it was the latter.
BB
BB
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 171
Some things got better right away. Stomach cramps and diarrhoea were the first to go, in the first couple of days. My gums stopped bleeding when I brushed my teeth also in the first week or two. The mystery bruises that I would always wake up with went away.
Mentally, I was still pretty up and down (mostly down) at month 1-2. I just felt blah, most of the time. Not happy not sad, although there were some pretty depressed days in there too. Thankfully they didn't last long.
I'm at nearly 4 months so I still have much healing to do but I definitely feel the "it gets better" thing is happening to me. I am gradually understanding that I can't ever do this again. I really really wasn't willing to accept that at first.
Mentally, I was still pretty up and down (mostly down) at month 1-2. I just felt blah, most of the time. Not happy not sad, although there were some pretty depressed days in there too. Thankfully they didn't last long.
I'm at nearly 4 months so I still have much healing to do but I definitely feel the "it gets better" thing is happening to me. I am gradually understanding that I can't ever do this again. I really really wasn't willing to accept that at first.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I spent too much time feeling sorry for myself & thinking of what I'd be missing. That was ridiculous, because in the end it brought me nothing but misery - no fun or joy. I was drinking every day - completely dependent. So it took me about 3 months to adjust. I was thrilled to be free of it, but had to learn to live in a new way.
Congrats on your 34 days - we promise it will get better and easier.
Congrats on your 34 days - we promise it will get better and easier.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Great job on just passing a month!
I found a big shift forward/better around 100 days, in a lot of things. I was very sick when I quit so by that time my mind was clearer and I felt a lot stronger. My journey involved extended PAWS, however, so various symptoms came and went for longer than that.
I am 22 mo sober and will tell you that I am a strong and fit person now (we run a 5K a month and I am planning a 15K in Feb) and I do hot yoga 5-6x a week for an hour, hour and a half - and I am also someone who gets exhausted at times, takes naps a lot of days, and struggles with insomnia.
Anxiety is a fundamental "issue" that I have, so I work on that in various ways.
Relationships and emotional sobriety are continual areas of focus and improvement.
My AA program is the foundation of my life and I cannot list all the good things that are in my happy, sometimes challenging, layered, faithful, generally peaceful and drama-free world.
Bottom line, I keep going - and everything- EVERYTHING - good, bad, physical, mental, emotional - is better sober.
Keep going , too!
I found a big shift forward/better around 100 days, in a lot of things. I was very sick when I quit so by that time my mind was clearer and I felt a lot stronger. My journey involved extended PAWS, however, so various symptoms came and went for longer than that.
I am 22 mo sober and will tell you that I am a strong and fit person now (we run a 5K a month and I am planning a 15K in Feb) and I do hot yoga 5-6x a week for an hour, hour and a half - and I am also someone who gets exhausted at times, takes naps a lot of days, and struggles with insomnia.
Anxiety is a fundamental "issue" that I have, so I work on that in various ways.
Relationships and emotional sobriety are continual areas of focus and improvement.
My AA program is the foundation of my life and I cannot list all the good things that are in my happy, sometimes challenging, layered, faithful, generally peaceful and drama-free world.
Bottom line, I keep going - and everything- EVERYTHING - good, bad, physical, mental, emotional - is better sober.
Keep going , too!
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
The drinking part clicked at 6 months for me. Then came the recovery which was pretty rough for another 18 months. You having a therapist will make that eaiser, I didn't have one. I'm sure you've heard it's not linear. It's like circling the drain and then when one phase is gone a new one begins. It's a soul metamorphosis, it takes time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Hello! When I was struggling so much in the beginning and would read "it gets better", I was sceptical! Now I'm over 1 year and it's true! I felt a shift about 9 months in, just didn't think about drinking anymore. I feel my brain is still healing from all the damage I inflicted but not tempted to drink.
You WILL feel better. Hang in there
You WILL feel better. Hang in there
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Also around 90-100 days. Around that time I started owning it — seeing myself as a non-drinker vs. someone who couldn't drink. When you start to live with the benefits of sobriety, the thought of Never Drinking Again becomes a lot less intimidating.
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