misscostalot

In need of help – I am just about to leave for my work’s dinner/party and I really want to drink! It would have been my mother’s birthday today (she died years ago), I feel that I just want to ‘forget’ for a while. I am determined not to drink and have told my colleagues that I am on antibiotics. I feel so angry at myself that I can’t moderate and can’t trust myself to have a couple of glasses. The reality of sobriety definitely isn’t all ‘pink cloud.’ 

ReadyAtLast

Maybe it's best not to go. Call in and say you having sickness bug. It's not worth it. You don't have to go and it's not worth risking your sobriety. I know I couldn't go so early on and not drink. Too much temptation

comtnman740

Hey there,
I'm so sorry you're feeling grief about your mother. I could imagine it must be tough! Can you play the tape forward? Where are things going to end up if you do drink?
Garrison

ScottFromWI

Can you just stay home Miss? As others have mentioned, if you drink it won't be just a few and you will only "forget" temporarily. As soon as you sober up, you'll still have the same problems to face and likely new ones from whatever you did while you were drunk.

Drinking is not a solution to anything, why not honor your mother by making absolutely sure you don't drink? If you need to stay home to do that it's perfectly acceptable.

misscostalot

If I could I would cancel. I will go for a couple of hours and then leave. Without going into my work politics, I have to be there. I feel really down and I although know that alcohol doesn't help. . . I just wish I was normal

misscostalot

Yes, she didn't drink! I think she would be proud if I didn't either. Thanks.

misscostalot

They would end up being awful. Thank you!

Midwest1981

Every time you make it through a party and remain sober the stronger you will become. Soon it will be a lot easier! Eventually you will be glad you don't drink at all!! It takes time but you will get there.

Sorry about your mom....on those days I normally cry and then make myself have a great day in their memory! That is what our loved ones would want us to do.

nez

Part of you may want to drink, but a bigger part of you wants not to drink which is evident by your posting here. Go with the bigger part, there is strength in numbers. Remember the reasons for not drinking, because I am sure there are more of them. You have already mentioned two.

SoberLeigh

This is a difficult day fo you, Misscostalot. I am always sad on the anniversaries of my parents' deaths.

Why not cancel your appearance at the work party. Cuddle up with a good book; have a long, warm, aromatic bath. Do something nice for misscostalot.

Sending support to you.

Anna

I would find a way to cancel, too. It sounds like a very stressful situation at a time when you are feeling vulnerable.

SoberLeigh

Sorry, I just read this response.

If you must go, why not just arrive, give your Holiday greetings and leave explaining that you are sick. Probably that would suffice and save you having to stay for a few hours.

scarly

seriously....just dont go. Can't imagine a scenario where you'd HAVE to go. Even if you owned the company. Or are the CEO. Its a Christmas party. Its not mandatory, right?

ReadyAtLast

I agree no one has to go to a drinking work event. If you genuinely had a sickness bug you wouldn't go. Early recovery is a sort of sickness so it's not a lie. After a couple of drinks people won't even notice you're not there. It's not worth ruining your sobriety over.

When I got sober first time round I learned that I don't have to do anything or go anywhere. Putting my sobriety first is something I need to do. It's not selfish.

wildflower70

I f you look at your title "I want to drink", that tells me that your already on the slippery slope. I would also cancel! If your title would have read "I don't want to drink", that would have sounded more confident in your ability to stay sober. Let's face it, work xmas parties are overrated, and who needs the temptation shoved down your throat on an emotionally charged day?

Stay strong

misscostalot

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and support. I went for a while and surprisingly was not tempted to drink at all when I got there.
One of my colleagues made reference to the fact that I was really drunk the year before and that wasn't so great.
I slipped away during dessert and I'm happy to be cosy on the couch with coke zero! Thanks again for all your support.

ReadyAtLast

Well done on getting through leaving early and not drinking ☺

scarly

Good for you !! I went and saw Star Wars... Now I'm cozy too on the couch with some hazelnut coffee....yum...

Dee74

I'm glad you got through misscostalot - but if this time of year is difficult for you maybe you need to bolster your recovery action plan a little?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

D

SoberLeigh

Well,done, misscostalot.

Very pleased for you.