Friend died age 33 of alcoholism...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 9
Friend died age 33 of alcoholism...
Hi everyone,
I am new here, never posted anything. My friend recently died only age 33 of the long term effects of alcohol addiction...
I keep thinking about what excactly leaded to his dead... I have not much medical information , maybe someone here on this forum can relate or understand this better then I can.
He had been drinking for more then 10 years, I would say around 10-12 strong beers/ or 1-2 bottles of wine a day. The last 1,5 years he has been suffering from periodes of vomiting very much ( only fluid) for 3-4 days and then getting a delerium from not consuming any alcholol cause his body would through it out immediatly. He was hospitalised 3 months ago, cause he suffered delerium tremens and severe dehydration. He was released out of the hospital after 5 days.
His house was a complete mess, all furnitures where moved and objects where on other places, he had completly gone crazy.
When he would vomit, it continued for 3-4 days, then get into a deep sleep with sympthoms of delerium tremens. He told me many times he didnt want to be in the hospital. Many times the delerium went away by itself. This time it was fatal, cause I found him dead after 2 days vomiting and not drinking alcohol, he had suffered cardiac arrest. I called the ambulance but they couldent do anything for him anymore. I keep on thinking that if he was treated immediately he would not have died.... I dont know if he had liver cirrosis or what excactly triggered the excessing vomiting that he had over the last 1,5 years. I always worried when I didnt hear from him for some days. A lot of times he told me he was sick and feeling old. He was also underweight, told me he had pain in his stomach from time to time. I have no further medical information, his family told me he had hepatitus ( probably alcoholic hepatitus). It keeps on haunting me that I should have called the ambulance a day earlier, he could have been treated for the delerium/ dehydration and maybe still be alive....
I am new here, never posted anything. My friend recently died only age 33 of the long term effects of alcohol addiction...
I keep thinking about what excactly leaded to his dead... I have not much medical information , maybe someone here on this forum can relate or understand this better then I can.
He had been drinking for more then 10 years, I would say around 10-12 strong beers/ or 1-2 bottles of wine a day. The last 1,5 years he has been suffering from periodes of vomiting very much ( only fluid) for 3-4 days and then getting a delerium from not consuming any alcholol cause his body would through it out immediatly. He was hospitalised 3 months ago, cause he suffered delerium tremens and severe dehydration. He was released out of the hospital after 5 days.
His house was a complete mess, all furnitures where moved and objects where on other places, he had completly gone crazy.
When he would vomit, it continued for 3-4 days, then get into a deep sleep with sympthoms of delerium tremens. He told me many times he didnt want to be in the hospital. Many times the delerium went away by itself. This time it was fatal, cause I found him dead after 2 days vomiting and not drinking alcohol, he had suffered cardiac arrest. I called the ambulance but they couldent do anything for him anymore. I keep on thinking that if he was treated immediately he would not have died.... I dont know if he had liver cirrosis or what excactly triggered the excessing vomiting that he had over the last 1,5 years. I always worried when I didnt hear from him for some days. A lot of times he told me he was sick and feeling old. He was also underweight, told me he had pain in his stomach from time to time. I have no further medical information, his family told me he had hepatitus ( probably alcoholic hepatitus). It keeps on haunting me that I should have called the ambulance a day earlier, he could have been treated for the delerium/ dehydration and maybe still be alive....
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, Rainbow,
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up. Calling the ambulance sooner would only have kept him in the same cycle, causing even more suffering. If the prior incidents did not convince hims to stop drinking, this one would not have.
Withdrawal from alcohol can, indeed, be fatal. In addition, it sounds like his body was already severely compromised. He more than likely had liver disease based on everything you posted, and that affects a person's overall health and resilience.
Please know there is nothing you could have done to save him. This would undoubtedly have been the outcome eventually--the cardiac arrest might have actually spared him from more misery. And as sad as his family and friends undoubtedly are, it's hell to watch this prolonged self-destruction.
Sending hugs and warm thoughts for you and the rest of his family,
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up. Calling the ambulance sooner would only have kept him in the same cycle, causing even more suffering. If the prior incidents did not convince hims to stop drinking, this one would not have.
Withdrawal from alcohol can, indeed, be fatal. In addition, it sounds like his body was already severely compromised. He more than likely had liver disease based on everything you posted, and that affects a person's overall health and resilience.
Please know there is nothing you could have done to save him. This would undoubtedly have been the outcome eventually--the cardiac arrest might have actually spared him from more misery. And as sad as his family and friends undoubtedly are, it's hell to watch this prolonged self-destruction.
Sending hugs and warm thoughts for you and the rest of his family,
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I'm sorry for your loss Rainbow.
Please..don't blame yourself. I was an alcoholic too - all the choices I made were mine and there was nothing anyone else could have done about them.
When I was an active drinker, if an ambulance had been called for me, chances were I would have fled the hospital as soon as I sobered up and gone right back to drinking.
I'm sure your friend knew and was very grateful for your concern and care.
I hope he's found some peace now.
D
Please..don't blame yourself. I was an alcoholic too - all the choices I made were mine and there was nothing anyone else could have done about them.
When I was an active drinker, if an ambulance had been called for me, chances were I would have fled the hospital as soon as I sobered up and gone right back to drinking.
I'm sure your friend knew and was very grateful for your concern and care.
I hope he's found some peace now.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 328
Rainbow,
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Please take care of yourself and try to find a way to do away with the guilt. It serves no purpose. It sounds like you were a very good friend. I've lost people to this horrible disease also. Sending you prayers and hugs!
Jaeger
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Please take care of yourself and try to find a way to do away with the guilt. It serves no purpose. It sounds like you were a very good friend. I've lost people to this horrible disease also. Sending you prayers and hugs!
Jaeger
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 106
Ohh Rainbow, I am so very sorry you went through this, big hugs your way. My AH has gone through D.T.'s and seizures and I know how terrifying it is to witness someone going through them. Your friend shared his desire to not go to the hospital. Be assured that the times he was hospitalized he was told that continuing to drink any alcohol ever again was at great risk to his life. If he was experiencing D.T.s again, he probably drank again despite the risks. My AH did too, it didn't matter, the alcohol was more important than his life. Your friend chose this path and nothing you could have said or done would have changed the ultimate outcome, only your friend could have done that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend at such a young age. He should have had years and years of happy, productive life ahead of him.
I hope you read around the forum and learn about alcoholism, and I hope you find some peace and healing.
I hope you read around the forum and learn about alcoholism, and I hope you find some peace and healing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 91
Rainbow, as they say in Alanon, you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. Your friend was very very sick and his disease ended up killing him. If it had been cancer, would you blame yourself for not calling the hospital soon enough when he took a turn for the worse? I'm sure you were a great friend and did everything possible to help him but it was his fight to win or lose, not yours. Your fight is to take care of yourself and find some happiness in this crazy magical life. God Bless and take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 9
Yes thanks, I was reading posts of other people about grieving and the feeling of guilt. I still keep wondering what if I would have called the ambulance. Last time he was in the hospital treated for the delerium he was found on the street and other people called the ambulance. He had 3 good months after this, 3 months I wouldent want to have missed..... thats whats bothers me. The
'what if he was hospitalised' how many days, months, maybe years he could have lived.... At the same time I think he would have been in this cycle of being in and out the hospital and i couldent be with him 24/7 so I would always worry that he would get sick and who would call the hospital for him? I hope he found peace now. I have waves of intense sadness and crying and still cant believe he really died so young. It seems so unreal.
'what if he was hospitalised' how many days, months, maybe years he could have lived.... At the same time I think he would have been in this cycle of being in and out the hospital and i couldent be with him 24/7 so I would always worry that he would get sick and who would call the hospital for him? I hope he found peace now. I have waves of intense sadness and crying and still cant believe he really died so young. It seems so unreal.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Unless he made the choice to help himself, this was going to happen. It was just a question of time.
Short of chaining yourself to him 24 hours a day and fighting him to a standstill every time he decided to drink, there was nothing you or anyone else could have done.
It's also possible he would have died in the hospital or the ambulance.
Please try to stop second-guessing yourself. We just can't fix everything and it's one of life's hardest lessons.
Sending you a hug.
Short of chaining yourself to him 24 hours a day and fighting him to a standstill every time he decided to drink, there was nothing you or anyone else could have done.
It's also possible he would have died in the hospital or the ambulance.
Please try to stop second-guessing yourself. We just can't fix everything and it's one of life's hardest lessons.
Sending you a hug.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Please don't beat yourself up, Rainbow22. If he could have saved himself a hundred times before, he would have. If he couldn't, you couldn't do a thing to save him. Yes, it's sad. Yes, it's tragic. But it happens every day. It doesn't do any good to play "what if." I'm sure that if he could speak to you right now, he'd tell you that you did nothing wrong. Please let it go. You were a great friend, and you couldn't control the outcome. You simply couldn't.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 151
Hi Rainbow.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I too lost someone very special to me to this disease. The truth is I tried everything and more. And nothing works.
I played the "what if" game for a long time. The answer lies in the fact that no one but the alcoholic can change their fate.
In time, I hope you find peace. Some days will be harder than others. Grief is tough in any situation. Alcoholism makes it harder in my opinion.
Know that you loved your friend. And if love was enough then none of us would ever lose anyone to the disease.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I too lost someone very special to me to this disease. The truth is I tried everything and more. And nothing works.
I played the "what if" game for a long time. The answer lies in the fact that no one but the alcoholic can change their fate.
In time, I hope you find peace. Some days will be harder than others. Grief is tough in any situation. Alcoholism makes it harder in my opinion.
Know that you loved your friend. And if love was enough then none of us would ever lose anyone to the disease.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
