Day 1 again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 296
My son is very high needs. I'm seeing a therapist fort nightly but I often have to cancel it as my son has meltdowns when I try to leave the house. I'm high functioning during the day but drink at night when he's asleep. I made it 4 days but had 2 bottles of wine last night. So sick this morning
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 42
Hi there. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I'm starting over too. Honestly what's helping me most right now is prayer. I know that it can get better if I let it. I've just been praying for the strength to get me through. Good luck 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 65
I'm so sorry, SoberNun. That must be incredibly difficult and stressful for you. I can understand the allure of drinking with so much responsibility in your shoulders.
My recommendation is to use that "play the tape forward" strategy. Every time I think of feeling sick, looking like hell, feeling like hell and the drain on my bank account, I'm able to talk myself out of any temptation.
Perhaps you can journal your feelings and write down your thoughts when you play the tape forward.
My recommendation is to use that "play the tape forward" strategy. Every time I think of feeling sick, looking like hell, feeling like hell and the drain on my bank account, I'm able to talk myself out of any temptation.
Perhaps you can journal your feelings and write down your thoughts when you play the tape forward.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,673
Is there a community centre you could get advice from- about, say a carer looking after your son- even for a few hours a week so you can get to AA meetings? Support to you. Booze is not the answer. Just keep posting. Not just once- 10 times if it helps you stop drinking. You are not alone. None of us are. Support to you. PJ
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Posts: 34
I'm so sorry sobernunn. Just know that you're not alone. We're all here to support you. It sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders; I'm hoping there's help available like phoenixJ was talking about. Prayers and strength for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 296
I can't leave my son with a carer because of his seperation anxiety. I tried to not long ago and he held his breath until he fainted. I can't get to meetings. You guys are my lifeline. I was drinking every night but in last few months I've cut down to once or twice a week. Unfortunately that adds up to a lot of day 1s.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by SoberNunn 
Defeated. Ashamed. Self loathing. Anxiety and sense of impending doom.
Yes, this is the guilt and self-hate and all the remorse...the part in the addiction cycle that follows drinking. The feelings will improve and once the do, you can take your next steps.
Breaking the cycle will be almost impossible alone, and you simply must, you just have to, find some way out of isolation alone at home with your son.
I don't have any brilliant ideas, but somehow someway get into contact with people who can help you and show you the way.
I see how much you love and care for your son, but unless you take steps to care for yourself it's only a matter of time before you'll be unable to care for him.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,688
Hi SoberNunn, it's a stumbling block in the road, not the end of the road.
It happens, but don't beat yourself up over it.
Dust yourself off, pick up some more 'sobriety tools' and keep going.
You want to be there in good health for you and your son.
You can do this.
It happens, but don't beat yourself up over it.
Dust yourself off, pick up some more 'sobriety tools' and keep going.
You want to be there in good health for you and your son.
You can do this.
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