Delizadee

Hi sobernunn, I'm so sorry you're struggling. I understand to a small extent what you are dealing with. My first sponsor has an autistic son, and she drank for pretty well the same reasons.

I'm glad you are reaching out here. I was just thinking, is it possible that, if you can't get to meetings, that you could call the local AA number and have someone or some people come to you?

You don't have to be alone. Reaching out outside of SR is within your grasp. There are people waiting to help you and you don't have to go through this alone. You may have to work a little harder and dig a little deeper to get to those places. But not only does your son need you better, you deserve to feel and be better to yourself.
Hang in there... you can do this.

bronzie

You are not defeated, and you have no reason to feel ashamed. Lots of people have gone thru and are going thru the same thing....everyone here understands. I'm sorry your son has seperation anxiety and I know he had special needs and you are his caretaker. But just please remember to also take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Keep posting here, and have a great, sober weekend!

Delilah1

Hi SN,

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. Some of those feelings do go away as you build up sober time.

I can't remember how old your son is, but there are lots of resources to help both you and your son. The school district offers services, and places like a Regional Center. You should be able to contact your local school district to get s list of resources. There are people who are trained to come into your home to work with your son there, and there are many programs you can bring him to as well.

Does your son have contact with his dad? Do you have other family nearby? You need to build in some break time for you this will help you begin to feel less stressed.

You can do this!!!
❤Delilah

Verona

Hi SoberNunn, so sorry you're struggling. Our situations are similar, I have an autistic child as well and after being responsible and fixing everything during the day, I tried to relax at night with lots of wine. It didn't work or solve anything long term so here I am on Day 2 once more. We can do this! Keep posting, SR is a great place to be!

SoberNunn

Thanks Delilah, yes my son has contact with his dad but I'm responsible for the majority of the parenting. My husband runs his own business and works 12 hour days. My son is seeing all of the best therapists in our area and is in 2 special needs pre kindy groups. Despite my drinking problem I have been very proactive in seeking out services and getting my son the help he needs. Everyday is spent going to and from appointments and trying to find time for play. I binge at night.

Dee74

do something different SN - sometimes great waves of change start as the smallest of ripples

D

SoberNunn

I'm not giving up Dee!

LadyBlue0527

SoberNunn, we've all experienced what you're feeling, it's horrible.

The only way out is by making a plan and sticking to it. Under no circumstance can you drink the next time you want to. Not even if it's just because you want to.

What are you going to do the next time you want to drink? Force yourself to answer the question as much as it's making you cringe right now. Force yourself to type out your plan.

It's a start.

PhoenixJ

Another thought- is there perhaps an online support group you could tap into for parents with children that have special needs as does your son?

Kristoff

good on ya SN.....your spirit has lifted me

saoutchik

That's the spirit SoberNunn.

Would it be possible to take your son with you when you are due to see your therapist?

SoberNunn

I can't take him with me to the therapist. He can't sit still and is into everything! I have to do this without meetings and be really really strong. I might be posting here multiple times a day. Tonight when he goes to bed I'm going to work on my plan.