Where to Begin?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 2
Where to Begin?
Hi All -
I'm new to this site, and I figure it's my best bet for anonymously discussing my situation with others.
Put quite simply, I am seeking to reduce down from 750mL 12.5% abv wine a night to none. It's been ongoing for as long as I can remember (I'm a male in my mid-twenties).
I recently lost someone close to me - not from drugs or alcohol - but it has really put my mortality in to focus.
I've been hitting up AA meetings but they're not doing it for me.
I'll check back later to respond to any questions/comments/suggestions.
Thanks!
I'm new to this site, and I figure it's my best bet for anonymously discussing my situation with others.
Put quite simply, I am seeking to reduce down from 750mL 12.5% abv wine a night to none. It's been ongoing for as long as I can remember (I'm a male in my mid-twenties).
I recently lost someone close to me - not from drugs or alcohol - but it has really put my mortality in to focus.
I've been hitting up AA meetings but they're not doing it for me.
I'll check back later to respond to any questions/comments/suggestions.
Thanks!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Welcome! I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking alcohol.
There are many recovery paths and ideas and this link is a great place to start:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
There are many recovery paths and ideas and this link is a great place to start:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome John 
Hi and welcome JohnGault
I'm sorry for your loss.
I have no suggestions as tapering never worked for me, but best of luck.
If you find that you can't stick to your totals, you might need to consider seeing a Dr for help?
D
Hi and welcome JohnGault
I'm sorry for your loss.
I have no suggestions as tapering never worked for me, but best of luck.
If you find that you can't stick to your totals, you might need to consider seeing a Dr for help?
D
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
Just quit. At some point you have to be down to none, and slowly reducing it (even if you are successful, doesn't make it any less discomforting.
Originally Posted by JohnGalt2017 
I am seeking to reduce down from 750mL 12.5% abv wine a night to none.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I'm sorry for your loss, I have experienced similar.
It made me realise there is more to life than me sitting on the sofa drinking from the same glass, in front of the same TV show every single night.
I am with Dee.
I stopped and didn't taper.
It took determination and the first month I had to really keep busy, even during evenings after a day at work.
I did lots of stuff to take my mind off drinking - the gym, cooking, the cinema, sorting stuff out for car boot sales, I went for a drive with loud music on, came here and read, read books in bed, went swimming - anything that did not involve sitting on that same sofa.
I also smashed my favourite glass too.
If it was easy - forums like this would not exist.
Drinking behaviours can be really ingrained too.
Its hard to stop when we have had a routine for so long.
There is more to life than drinking, a lot more.
I am now 5 years without a drink.
I would never go back to my life before.
I still can't quite believe I had all that time to just sit and drink.
I wish you the best xx
It made me realise there is more to life than me sitting on the sofa drinking from the same glass, in front of the same TV show every single night.
I am with Dee.
I stopped and didn't taper.
It took determination and the first month I had to really keep busy, even during evenings after a day at work.
I did lots of stuff to take my mind off drinking - the gym, cooking, the cinema, sorting stuff out for car boot sales, I went for a drive with loud music on, came here and read, read books in bed, went swimming - anything that did not involve sitting on that same sofa.
I also smashed my favourite glass too.
If it was easy - forums like this would not exist.
Drinking behaviours can be really ingrained too.
Its hard to stop when we have had a routine for so long.
There is more to life than drinking, a lot more.
I am now 5 years without a drink.
I would never go back to my life before.
I still can't quite believe I had all that time to just sit and drink.
I wish you the best xx
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
It's good to have you join us, John. The encouragement & friendship here is wonderful. The more I read & posted, the more determined I became to quit. You're never alone - someone's always around. Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Welcome JG to SR. I am sober through AA but there are many programs that work. You stated you want to go from 750 mL to none. Just a few questions to understand your position better. Are you trying to taper then go abstinent for a reason? Have you tried to quit in the past? What about AA doesn't work for you?
Keep coming back and posting we are all here to help one another. Good luck and many prayers.
Keep coming back and posting we are all here to help one another. Good luck and many prayers.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Northwest
Posts: 274
I'm not into AA either, but they have a good phrase: "it's the first drink that does the damage" so you need to just not buy a bottle of wine every day for a consistent period of time to break the cycle.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 425
I'm new as well - quitting is not the easiest thing, but the right thing usually isn't. Just don't buy the next bottle - seek grief counseling if that is an issue.
I've had AA experience in the past, but it wasn't for me either. So far, this site and the many forums have been just the ticket. Whether it's seeking emotional support, asking questions, reading articles, or simply playing games in the arcade.
Think about how much time you spend drinking each day, and come up with constructive, non-drinking activities to fill that time. Eat well, and stay hydrated. Maybe start seeing a doctor to keep your health monitored. Feeling physically well goes a long way towards staying out of the bottle.
Stay connected !
I've had AA experience in the past, but it wasn't for me either. So far, this site and the many forums have been just the ticket. Whether it's seeking emotional support, asking questions, reading articles, or simply playing games in the arcade.
Think about how much time you spend drinking each day, and come up with constructive, non-drinking activities to fill that time. Eat well, and stay hydrated. Maybe start seeing a doctor to keep your health monitored. Feeling physically well goes a long way towards staying out of the bottle.
Stay connected !
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Make two lists.
One list of why you want to drink.
One list of why you want to quit.
Cross off the list of reasons you drink that are just plain silly.
Cross off the list of reasons you drink that are just an easy excuse for not doing something more reasonable to deal with a problem.
Cross off the reasons you drink because you are bored and have nothing else to do.
Circle what’s left.
Compare that to the list of reasons you want to stop drinking. If the list of reasons to quit is bigger than the reasons to drink, then you should stop. If the reasons to drink are still more than your reasons to quit, you are not being honest with yourself. Go back to the reasons to drink list again and start crossing off more things. Oh, and if you did the list properly the first time, after you cross off the reasons to drink that are just plain silly, the only thing left on the list should be, “Because I like to get drunk.” And that’s just plain silly too.
I’m no expert, but I do know this, if you want to quit, you already have a good reason. And the first part of quitting is acknowledging that fact. And also acknowledging that quitting means for good. If you quit for six months and go back, it gets worse, it really does. So, regardless of how you go about this endeavor, until you are “all in” you are just prolonging your suffering. If you really want to quit, you have to believe that quitting is the best thing for you. No-one can do that for you but yourself.
That really is the first step.
One list of why you want to drink.
One list of why you want to quit.
Cross off the list of reasons you drink that are just plain silly.
Cross off the list of reasons you drink that are just an easy excuse for not doing something more reasonable to deal with a problem.
Cross off the reasons you drink because you are bored and have nothing else to do.
Circle what’s left.
Compare that to the list of reasons you want to stop drinking. If the list of reasons to quit is bigger than the reasons to drink, then you should stop. If the reasons to drink are still more than your reasons to quit, you are not being honest with yourself. Go back to the reasons to drink list again and start crossing off more things. Oh, and if you did the list properly the first time, after you cross off the reasons to drink that are just plain silly, the only thing left on the list should be, “Because I like to get drunk.” And that’s just plain silly too.
I’m no expert, but I do know this, if you want to quit, you already have a good reason. And the first part of quitting is acknowledging that fact. And also acknowledging that quitting means for good. If you quit for six months and go back, it gets worse, it really does. So, regardless of how you go about this endeavor, until you are “all in” you are just prolonging your suffering. If you really want to quit, you have to believe that quitting is the best thing for you. No-one can do that for you but yourself.
That really is the first step.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by JohnGalt2017
Hi All -
....
I've been hitting up AA meetings but they're not doing it for me.
....
....
I've been hitting up AA meetings but they're not doing it for me.
....
No program, AA or any other, will do it for you. You do it for the program (you have to make it work) if YOU want to change.
Good luck and best wishes. I hope you check back in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 2
Hey again
Hi again everyone. Thanks for all the posts... I think my biggest fear with quitting is all the things I've read about detox being fatal... Seizures/DTs/etc.
I haven't had a drink in 24 hours, ate well today, and walked about 7 miles this afternoon... I'm tempted to just not pick up a drink and see what happens. The only thing from preventing me from doing this is that I live alone, and on the off chance that something bad happens, I want someone around.
I'd like you all to know that I quit opiates in my early twenties cold turkey, gave up smoking a couple months ago, am now officially nicotine and coffee free, and I KNOW that I can do this. I'm not even really afraid of the pain (I honestly don't think it will be that bad) - but the anxiety is just ridiculous.
*Grinding my teeth* Share your thoughts????
I haven't had a drink in 24 hours, ate well today, and walked about 7 miles this afternoon... I'm tempted to just not pick up a drink and see what happens. The only thing from preventing me from doing this is that I live alone, and on the off chance that something bad happens, I want someone around.
I'd like you all to know that I quit opiates in my early twenties cold turkey, gave up smoking a couple months ago, am now officially nicotine and coffee free, and I KNOW that I can do this. I'm not even really afraid of the pain (I honestly don't think it will be that bad) - but the anxiety is just ridiculous.
*Grinding my teeth* Share your thoughts????
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