daybyday13

Hello everyone, so glad I discovered this site as I find it to be an excellent way of dealing with your issues, especially when so many others here have been in your exact position.

Little backstory about me, I'm 29, recently made a move back close to home, left my entire life that I was building, because I wanted to be closer to family again. I spent about 5 years across the country from them.

After moving back I started to feel lonely, I surrounded myself with family as often as possible but had and still don't have much of a social life. My drinking started maybe around Oct/Nov. At first it was just occasional drinking, wine with mom at dinner, then I began drinking at home, alone. Then before I knew it I was getting home from work at 6pm and by 6:30/7 was already hitting the bottle. Vodka.

I would drink about 1/3rd of a 750ml bottle each night. Not every night, some nights I would have a drink or two and would be satisfied but spent many nights at home alone, drinking. Would get pretty drunk because I am a lightweight. This continued up until about a week or two ago. Someone at work asked if I was okay one day, they said my face looked flushed (red).

I sort of shrugged it off until I looked in the mirror one day and thought wtf. My face looked red, a bit bloated, I had gained about 4 lbs in 4 months, which isnt a lot but I'm a skinny guy and have such trouble gaining weight, it was obviously my drinking.

I needed to stop, so my only way was to taper off it, I was afraid of stopping cold turkey and having some sort of withdrawal effects.

I have never been a real big drinker, would have maybe 1-3 drinks out and wouldn't even go out once a week before, maybe 2-3 times a month I'd go out with friends.

Also, in the beginning of my drinking, I started seeing someone. The relationship was very unhealthy (they did not treat me right) which I think led me to want to drink more and forget about what was going on.

I am still drinking, not at all like I was. Last night I had quite a bit to drink, maybe a half bottle of a 750ml of vodka. Its just too much anymore. I dont think I need to go to rehab, I am totally for doing this on my own, I know I have the strength. For the most part, I have switched over to wine and I have cut down tremendously in comparison to what I used to drink, I know I know, some of you may be thinking I am in denial of some sort but I really am conscious that I need to make a change.

The weather is finally getting a little better, I get the winter blues. I am going to join a gym and start doing that right after work instead of grabbing the bottle. I just need to find things to do to keep me occupied. I am not addicted to the point where I drink in the morning or crave it but it needs to stop.

Sorry about the long post, I am just glad to be here, to be able to talk to people that have been in this same spot makes me feel so much better.

MsCooterBrown

Vodka grabbed a hold on me too. I know others have quit on their own with only Sober Recovery as support. I am on that method. We each have to find our way back to sobriety. Try it..if it doesn't work there are many other options. You can see by my join date that I have returned a few times for support. This one...WILL be my last!!! I didn't find switching one drink for another to be an option. Toss it out. It is all nasty!!!!

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad you posted and are ready to work on recovery.

If you think you can quit drinking on your own, that's fine. You need to find what works for you. I would strongly caution you about cutting back and about switching to wine. Alcohol is alcohol, it's all the same. And, cutting back is darn near impossible for alcoholics. It's far easier to stop, I believe. Planning to use a gym is a good idea because exercise will be helpful.

Mattq2

I would have given all my worldly possessions, including all my money to have had the foresight to quit drinking when I was only 29. Although I do not know your specific situation I am making an assumption that you do not know how bad things can get.

I think you are brilliant to get out now and live an alcohol free life. SR is a great way to learn to do that. I truely hope you address this issue now while you are young. Glad you found SR

daybyday13

Thank you all for the responses, this is why I am so happy I joined because I need those voices saying stop and also the encouraging words. I am very very lucky I realized this young. Again before this I was a social drinker, I would occasionally drink and when I did I never went overboard. I dont drink to the point of blacking out but its just a thing that became such a habit so quick, its scary. I know some people can have a drinking problem for years and years without recognizing that they have issues. So I am trying to pat myself on the back and really feel good that I was able to figure this out sooner than later.

I know that switching to wine isnt solving anything but its allowing me to drink less and less, this past week I was able to go to bed not drunk, I may have had one glass of wine, I also had a bit of insomnia because of it. Its crazy how your body reacts when you're not doing the typical thing you've been doing for months. Your body gets confused.

Alcohol is just bad, I mean it's nice when you can have a glass of wine at dinner with friends and go home and be done, but obviously that is something that I cannot do at this time.

I'm getting better and being here I think will help me even more to get better. Thank you all again for your help.

daybyday13

Quick question, do you guys think I'll have significant withdrawal symptoms after a 4 month habit? Again, didnt day drink really, maybe sometimes on an occasional Saturday, I would drink however after work. I am just afraid of withdrawal symptoms.

courage2

Welcome daybyday!

You have the right instinct to quit now -- no need every to look back. Your life can take a big upward path not if you decide alcohol doesn't have to be a part of it.

I'm impressed with your thinking. My sister quit at 31 and she's been sober 26 years. How I wish I'd made that decision!

Stick around here and you'll get all the support you need.

Mattq2

I really don't think anyone can answer your question. It's all realative to the individual in my opinion. I promise you this though. If you never drink again it will be your last time for withdrawal 😀. Don't be afraid you absolutely can do it

least

Welcome to the family. No one can predict what your withdrawal will be like. It's a good idea to get your doctor's help in quitting. Sometimes meds are given short term to help get thru the w/d anxiety.

Hope you stick around and let us know how you're doing.

I used to see a counselor but no longer do. SR is my sole support. And it's been working for over seven years.

daybyday13

Thank you very much for the reply. The thing is I dont want to bring a doctor into it unless I absolutely need to, I dont want alcohol dependence to be on my health records. I know this isnt a good reason to look at it like that, but I am going to try to do it initially on my own, luckily I live a mile from my parents and my mother is the closest person to me right now, so I have somewhere to go when I need something to get my mind off of it. Also luckily my brother his wife and my adorable niece live 2 miles away. I have so much support around me and I am so lucky.

It's cold today but sunny, I think I may take a walk to the nearby park. I need to develop habits like that, when I want to drink, take a walk. When you think about going to the liquor store, take a walk. I'm hoping things like this can help remind me that I dont need it.

courage2

We're not supposed to give medical advice but I personally withdrew successfully without a doctor's involvement -- if you're going to try it, you should have a friend stay with you, stay at your mother's (if she'll support a total abstinence policy) or at the very least keep some numbers ready in case you get any alarming symptomes.

Hevyn

Hi daybyday - we're so glad you're here. It's good that you're taking a hard look at how drinking impacts your life. I wish I'd paid attention to the warnings I had long ago. My life would have been so different. I hope you'll keep reading & posting here - it really helps.

daybyday13

It feels so good to hear you guys saying that it's good I caught this so early. I'm very intuitive and despite being in a drunken state most nights lately, I've developed the thought that this is not okay and that it needs to change. When you see yourself physically getting worse, it seriously opens your eyes to what youre doing. A week or two ago when I noticed I looked worse, I seriously drilled into my head that I need to make a change, joining SR was a huge leap for me as I already feel better hearing from you all. Thank you again.

PhoenixJ

Be careful. I have a very strong will (so I am told) and do not shirk from facing difficult issues in my life (now I am sober). BUT- when it came to alcohol- I could NOT do it either by myself or will power. It took a well thought out plan, informed choices, changing behaviours, professional support with a doc (physical) and a counsellor. Also meetings- AA and SMART- to listen and learn from others.

daybyday13

I got home from work and didn't have a drink. I usually go and pour a little glass of something just to get it going. But we all know how that goes, 1 glass turns into 4. This is good. I feel as though I am so lucky to have only been at it like this for 4 months max. It probably helps considerably getting off of it when your history with it isnt so long. I know this is only the beginning and I know it wont be easy, but little victories such as that help your mind. I am going to my nieces with my mom then were going to get dinner. I can do this. This is my plan, when I get home from work, get busy doing something, exercise, walk, make a fun dinner, watch a movie, see family. I can absolutely do this and thank you all again.

daybyday13

Thank you for the advice. May I ask how long your drinking went on for? Not that it necessarily matters I'm just curious.

MrMcTell

Lots of good advice here. I was a destructive drinker from the very beginning. It took me 20 years of trying to moderate/ "drink only beer" (often conveniently switching my brand to 8% ABV to do so) to finally accept I can't drink.

If you feel your drinking is in any way getting out of control, I would say stop now. I haven't met a sober person on SR who doesn't wish they had quit earlier, so you are making a great decision!

Good luck. I've found posting and reading on SR a great help.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Daybyday!!

daybyday13

Thank you guys for the responses. Once I get off it and do a detox I do want to get bloodwork done, but I am doing the bad habit of Google diagnosing myself and searching for possible complications. Do you think at my rate of drinking (150-250ml of vodka 5-6 days a week) for 3-4 months would cause me to get fatty liver? I'm just so scared of possible liver issues, not really any symptoms of anything really. Just noticed a little bit of bloat (mostly in face) two weeks ago that scared me and made me realize it's time to drop it. I know you can't give medical advice but is it possible I could've developed it in that time span? I recently started taking milk thistle and drinking a lot more water.

daybyday13

Just an update, so I've successfully cut my drinking down tremendously. I know, drinking is bad. But the fact that I was able to cut down from 6 drinks a night to 2, is miraculous to me. I come home and I don't have a glass of wine until dinner and then one before bed. Wine has totally allowed me to taper off the alcohol. Vodka is a no no, I mean obviously all alcohol is, but when I had vodka in the fridge that's when I drink. Wine allows me to sip. I went to bed every night last week without even really much of a buzz. Still experiencing a little bit of insomnia but it's more like I can't stay asleep the entire night, I fall asleep okay. I cannot explain how good I feel now that I'm away from that 3 month binge period. What darkness that was. I was totally alert this past week, snapped out of bed each morning and had great days at work. It's amazing once you start your path toward sobriety, how much clarity you have and confidence. My face isn't red anymore, my skin is looking better, my eyes aren't as baggy. What a lovely thing. I plan on completely stopping obviously, unless it's a rare special occasion but I have at least successfully taken my drinking status from binging to sipping in moderation, and just two glasses of wine each night has kept me satisfied. I plan on next cutting it down to 1 glass and then cutting out 2-3 days, so I have 3-4 days of complete sobriety each week. This forum has helped me so much. I've read so many stories of people that have been way worse off and I hate to say it like this, but it opened my eyes to how bad it can get. I can never return to what I was. I am so lucky that I got ahold of this after 3 months, this sort of thing can last years and years. Thanks again everyone.