Dee74

Hi daybyday

At the risk of being a stick in the mud, I'll share my experience...I was able to cut back too - but only for a time.

I could never manage a permanent switch.

I had this illusion that one day I'd learn to control my drinking...I see that in your post too with the dream of maybe drinking only on special occasions?

If you're a drinker like me, you have no control.

You can have good periods where it seems like you have control...but I think, if you look back over your drinking career, the bad times outnumber the good ones...

I think there's a reason for that.

D

daybyday13

Thank you for your response Dee, I appreciate every single response.

So here is my progress, last weekend was St Pattys yep, so I went out with my super Irish family and yes I did drink, but it was over the course of like 6 hours at the same bar and I had maybe 3 beers 4 tops, I was proud of myself for not overindulging, although drinking is drinking. Later at my apt, my sister, her friend and I had a glass of wine at home. The next Saturday I believe I had a glass or two of wine at dinner, Sunday I had one glass of wine. Monday is when I really started saying no and cut back extremely. This is when I sort of started feeling odd effects, nothing extreme but I felt a tad anxious, which would make me think I was shaking but I wasn't, again I am a bit of a hypochondriac on top of all of this so I believe telling myself that I harmed my body majorly and that basically I was dying lol, I mean it's not funny but again I tend to completely blast things out of proportion. However we do know alcoholism can kill you obviously, I think I was mistaking the pains and bodies toxin removal process as me dying, I really was never in major pain I just felt odd. Since Monday, I had 1 glass of wine a night and were talking a small glass, had nothing last night (Thurs) and tonight (Friday) and I'm okay. I can do this. There are going to be triggers everywhere of course and this certainly is not even close to being done but guys, I am so glad I am at least out of that black abyss that drinking puts you in, holy crap, how scary when you think back at when you were at your worst and you're almost imagining yourself looking at your drunk self in a glass ball, saying stop! Never again do I want to go back there, never again do I want to look the way I did. I hope I can look good as new once it's all detoxed out and I'm clean. I'm just hoping my first ever drinking issue that lasted 4 months didn't do anything major. I plan on having a physical here soon just wanted to give my body time to do some spring cleaning. And hallelujah the weather is looking up around here, that always lightens my mood.

I can say this, my head is getting clearer, my heavier emotions are getting lower, I'm not so upset about petty things or things I cannot change. I'm more confident, theres more of a spark in my eye. I'm seeing myself in the mirror more, and noticing things I had not. I am looking better as I said, my skin is losing the redness and becoming a slight pink and looks almost more glowy, this is within just a few days of stopping and about a week or more of tapering off, and not drinking vodka. Thinking about vodka almost makes me sick at this point.

Bless all of you going through this, it's something you will never understand unless you do. We were weaker than most at one point, but we will always come out stronger. Thank you all for listening.

PhoenixJ

good one, dbd

daybyday13

Had a glass of wine with my mom at dinner last night. Went home and didn't drink anymore. The imsomnia is getting better, and wow guys my physical appearance has nearly healed completely. I swear I aged 5 years in that 3-4 months I was drinking too much and I'm looking back to my old self. This will be a continuing battle but so far so good, honestly.