New here...day #4...thanks for sharing stories
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 6
New here...day #4...thanks for sharing stories
I started drinking daily probably 10 years ago. My story: abused alcohol to cope with stress from work and family. Never neglected the kids, would usually put them and the family to bed, and then tap into the beer fridge. Beer put me to sleep, same pattern next day. Hid the boozes from wife -- although I know she suspected -- and caused weight gain, inactivity, and changed the person who I was, for the negative.
Daughter hit 9 this year and I realized I needed to quit.
A friend - same age - just diagnosed with some health issues with drinking - now in rehab was a realization that I could be next. I don't want that.
I just want to thank all for sharing your stories. I don't have a support group at home -- i've lied to friends and family about my use -- and I also want to get myself out of the mess that I created.
I can't sleep, so you all have been a little mini support group to me. Knowing that my anxiety is normal -- which is the worst thing for me thus far -- and that Dr. Google (I have been using him a lot), isn't my doctor and that this is all apart of the process.
For me, I have had cravings but I had also realized that what I am doing to my body isn't sustainable. I realize that health is more important than a buzz.
Please keeping sharing the stories so I stay on track. For me, every day I seem a little better...(day 2 was the worse for me)...and hoping you are all right that soon, these physical effects will all be a distant memory.
God bless...
Daughter hit 9 this year and I realized I needed to quit.
A friend - same age - just diagnosed with some health issues with drinking - now in rehab was a realization that I could be next. I don't want that.
I just want to thank all for sharing your stories. I don't have a support group at home -- i've lied to friends and family about my use -- and I also want to get myself out of the mess that I created.
I can't sleep, so you all have been a little mini support group to me. Knowing that my anxiety is normal -- which is the worst thing for me thus far -- and that Dr. Google (I have been using him a lot), isn't my doctor and that this is all apart of the process.
For me, I have had cravings but I had also realized that what I am doing to my body isn't sustainable. I realize that health is more important than a buzz.
Please keeping sharing the stories so I stay on track. For me, every day I seem a little better...(day 2 was the worse for me)...and hoping you are all right that soon, these physical effects will all be a distant memory.
God bless...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Essex County New Jersey
Posts: 140
Welcome aboard! I am early on as well and struggling with some health anxiety. Right now I am just taking it a day a time, reading SR, and praying. And drinking water ... looking forward to seeing you on these boards
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 9
I feel like we are twins. I started drinking daily around 4 years ago. I was in job hell. I was never more miserable and turned to alcohol to cope. Next thing you knew, I had my dream job. It was heaven. I was able to work remotely and stay home with my dogs. All that I ever wanted. However, drinking had become my friend. It was all too easy to drink at home and it started getting earlier and earlier in the day. I started to think that I actually had a problem. In November last year, I was laid off from my dream job. I have no family and only one true friend. I completely panicked and sucked down the alcohol. I either had a nervous breakdown or a complete panic attack. I went to the ER and told them that I was experiencing withdrawal. They helped me, gave me paperwork for rehab. I went, didn't get a lot out of it. Most of the people HAD to be there. I was the only volunteer. I was able to quit fairly easily without the help of meds. After 2 months, I thought that I had another job lined up. I convinced myself that I was NOT an alcoholic, I just freaked out from not having income. I was good until Christmas. I had a drink. I was fine, didn't continue. January came and went, still no job. February came and I started to panic again. I started drinking and next thing I know, I am back where I started. Last week, my dog needed emergency surgery ($1000) and I had a job interview (3rd with the same company) the next day. After I went to the interview, I received an email before I got home saying that they weren't going to move forward with me. I still don't have a job. Just had to shell out a grand... I got home at 2:00 and started drinking all day. Next thing I know, its Saturday. The anxiety and depression is so horrible that I can barely breathe. Oh, I was in withdrawal and I felt like the world is going to end. I can't tell you how HORRIBLE it was. The anxiety was crippling. I spent Saturday night completely awake and in complete and utter panic. I cried so much that my eyes almost shut from being so swollen. I have no health insurance at this time and reached out to a local church near me. I am not a member but emailed the pastor and asked if he would meet with me. He did, prayed with me, prayed for my dog and invited me to come to church on Wednesday. After speaking with him, I felt better. I even felt a little tired (good thing!) I was able to sleep and haven't drank since. Today, I had a good day but guess what?!? I want to celebrate but getting a drink. Yes, I am THAT stupid. I came here because I know that I shouldn't but I was honestly trying to find articles on Dr. Google saying that it is ok to taper off. I seriously did that. I found this forum because I could picture going to the wine store and I don't want to. I am going back to church on Sunday. The people were so welcoming and it felt good to be among people again. I think that posting will help us all. Feel free to message me because we are new and i could use the support as well!! We can white knuckle this together!!! Good for you on the 4 days. It will get better, right!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Welcome to SR.
I'm glad you both found your way here.
Congrats on 4 days tenandten.
And glad you are here Ja3nt.
Let's make this year the best we've had in a long time.
Learn to enjoy life without panic and stress.
Use our time wisely instead of destroying ourselves.
And make wise decisions on our future endeavors with work and relaxation.
We can all do it.
I'm glad you both found your way here.
Congrats on 4 days tenandten.
And glad you are here Ja3nt.
Let's make this year the best we've had in a long time.
Learn to enjoy life without panic and stress.
Use our time wisely instead of destroying ourselves.
And make wise decisions on our future endeavors with work and relaxation.
We can all do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 6
Ja3nt - i tried to taper too. Kind of worked, but then I hit a floor. Needed probably a "sixer" just to get by the withdrawl effects. Then got back to a little more on the weekends. Taper down. Back up. Didn't work.
Going about it this way. Anxiety sucks. Paranoid about health now. Trying to keep my eye on the prize which are the positive thoughts/visions of having my old body/feelings back would look like.
Going about it this way. Anxiety sucks. Paranoid about health now. Trying to keep my eye on the prize which are the positive thoughts/visions of having my old body/feelings back would look like.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,644
Welcome tenandten and Ja3nt - it's wonderful to have you both join us.
I felt all alone until I found SR. The understanding & empathy I found here helped me cope with the anxiety - especially the first couple of weeks. Even after almost 10 yrs. I still come here daily for encouragement and to remain vigilant. Be proud of yourselves for taking action and reclaiming your lives.
I felt all alone until I found SR. The understanding & empathy I found here helped me cope with the anxiety - especially the first couple of weeks. Even after almost 10 yrs. I still come here daily for encouragement and to remain vigilant. Be proud of yourselves for taking action and reclaiming your lives.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 9
Hi Tenandten,
The anxiety will get better. I understand that horrible feeling so I know how you feel. I think that your health will be fine. Easier said than done, but try your best not to dwell on it. Do anything - get out, go for a walk... Cook... anything to keep your mind busy. Believe it or not, I started playing video games. I get completely immersed and hours go by.
I felt the anxiety start to dissipate after the 3rd day or so. I finally stopped sweating after around 3 days. I still have the headaches though. I will be really glad when they leave. I watched a lot of videos on youtube. You will be surprised at what good info is on there. One described it as a break-up with alcohol. Right now, that is how I am feeling. I am having a really hard time accepting that I won't have my old friend to help me sleep, relax, laugh, enjoy my evening. All that I thought that it does for me. I feel like I am in mourning. I really wish that I could taper off.... Ha, on Sunday morning, I poured out whatever I have left. I regret it. I just wanted to finish...
Even as I sit here missing it, since this is my second go around, I know that I can't. At least we both know that we can't. Just have to get past it minute by minute, I suppose. Hang tight.
The anxiety will get better. I understand that horrible feeling so I know how you feel. I think that your health will be fine. Easier said than done, but try your best not to dwell on it. Do anything - get out, go for a walk... Cook... anything to keep your mind busy. Believe it or not, I started playing video games. I get completely immersed and hours go by.
I felt the anxiety start to dissipate after the 3rd day or so. I finally stopped sweating after around 3 days. I still have the headaches though. I will be really glad when they leave. I watched a lot of videos on youtube. You will be surprised at what good info is on there. One described it as a break-up with alcohol. Right now, that is how I am feeling. I am having a really hard time accepting that I won't have my old friend to help me sleep, relax, laugh, enjoy my evening. All that I thought that it does for me. I feel like I am in mourning. I really wish that I could taper off.... Ha, on Sunday morning, I poured out whatever I have left. I regret it. I just wanted to finish...
Even as I sit here missing it, since this is my second go around, I know that I can't. At least we both know that we can't. Just have to get past it minute by minute, I suppose. Hang tight.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Saskatoon, SK
Posts: 80
Welcome, it will get easier daily, at least it did for me.
I also have a daughter same age as yours and a 8 yo son and realized I needed to stop, the first two weeks were the worst for me but it got pretty easy after that.
I'm at day 82 now and down 31 pounds, feel the best I've felt in years, more energy and sleeping good too, it was so worth it to power through the hard times to get to this point, my entire life has changed for the better.
I also hid some of my drinking so most people don't know I had a problem, I was the kind of drinker that could have 15 or 20 beer and still look and function sober so I fooled a lot of people into thinking I was fine, in the end I fessed up to everyone what was going on a declared that I was not going to drink anymore, I wanted to do that so I could be held accountable if I did start drinking, so right off the bat, well on day 4 everyone knew I wasn't supposed to be drinking and everyone has been very supportive.
It's only been not quite 3 months and I now look at myself as an ex drinker, the thought of drinking doesn't even cross my mind, to be honest I feel kind of guilty when I read some of the stories on here because it seems a lot of people have a way harder time with it, I've tried to stop before but never lasted more than 5 or 6 days but this was the first time I really wanted it, that's the key here is really wanting it for yourself I think.
You got this just keep going!
I also have a daughter same age as yours and a 8 yo son and realized I needed to stop, the first two weeks were the worst for me but it got pretty easy after that.
I'm at day 82 now and down 31 pounds, feel the best I've felt in years, more energy and sleeping good too, it was so worth it to power through the hard times to get to this point, my entire life has changed for the better.
I also hid some of my drinking so most people don't know I had a problem, I was the kind of drinker that could have 15 or 20 beer and still look and function sober so I fooled a lot of people into thinking I was fine, in the end I fessed up to everyone what was going on a declared that I was not going to drink anymore, I wanted to do that so I could be held accountable if I did start drinking, so right off the bat, well on day 4 everyone knew I wasn't supposed to be drinking and everyone has been very supportive.
It's only been not quite 3 months and I now look at myself as an ex drinker, the thought of drinking doesn't even cross my mind, to be honest I feel kind of guilty when I read some of the stories on here because it seems a lot of people have a way harder time with it, I've tried to stop before but never lasted more than 5 or 6 days but this was the first time I really wanted it, that's the key here is really wanting it for yourself I think.
You got this just keep going!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Ten,
The sleep thing gets better. For me that was the worst withdrawal symptom that I had. I learned not to fight it. Just stay up and watch tv, post here, or read a book.
Once I was really tired I would go to bed. Laying there tossing and turning was terrible.
I remember the first night I slept seven hours straight. Best feeling in the world. I knew I was over the worst of it. Hang in there pal.
The sleep thing gets better. For me that was the worst withdrawal symptom that I had. I learned not to fight it. Just stay up and watch tv, post here, or read a book.
Once I was really tired I would go to bed. Laying there tossing and turning was terrible.
I remember the first night I slept seven hours straight. Best feeling in the world. I knew I was over the worst of it. Hang in there pal.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Welcome 10and10. Glad you found us.
Congratulations on the start of your sobriety. This is a great way to heal physically. To heal mentally and emotionally may take a bit more of a recovery plan that you have had a chance to develop as yet, so here's the link to a great thread for when you're feeling up to making your plan... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
This place, together with the fellowship of AA has keep the me afloat. Sobriety can be stormy, and the folk from both places have been like lighthouses when difficult times have hit me.
I didn't get my 'old' emotions back. But then, looking back I've always had a kind of spiritual-homesickness, and sense of not-enoughness. Thankfully I got a different emotional perspective as one of the greatest gifts of sobriety. Didn't come as easily as maybe I'd hoped - some things we do have to work at. But it's worth more than anything, so any work I did has been paid back tenfold at least.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Congratulations on the start of your sobriety. This is a great way to heal physically. To heal mentally and emotionally may take a bit more of a recovery plan that you have had a chance to develop as yet, so here's the link to a great thread for when you're feeling up to making your plan... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
This place, together with the fellowship of AA has keep the me afloat. Sobriety can be stormy, and the folk from both places have been like lighthouses when difficult times have hit me.
I didn't get my 'old' emotions back. But then, looking back I've always had a kind of spiritual-homesickness, and sense of not-enoughness. Thankfully I got a different emotional perspective as one of the greatest gifts of sobriety. Didn't come as easily as maybe I'd hoped - some things we do have to work at. But it's worth more than anything, so any work I did has been paid back tenfold at least.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 6
Finally got sleep last night. This a.m. feel 10x better.
For those that are struggling, day 5, and I would say for me each day is a multiple improvement. My experience thus far is sleep is your friend. Probably lost 5 lbs too.
For those that are struggling, day 5, and I would say for me each day is a multiple improvement. My experience thus far is sleep is your friend. Probably lost 5 lbs too.
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