Around and around
Around and around
The cycle was so ugly. I thought, "damn, I'm an alcoholic. Look at what I'm doing, and have been doing for years." I'd piece together a bit of sober time that would end up "proving" I'm NOT an alcoholic. Just one would become just two, getting hammered once would be not a big deal. Now, getting hammered isn't a big deal. Back again. Rinse, repeat.
Around and around we go.
Part of my affliction is denial, throughout my life but really manifested in the identification of being an alcoholic. So, when I get those thoughts ((("you've been sober for six months, huh. Surely not an alcoholic. I think if you think about it you'll realize you really did love wine, always did. Right? Can't remember? Well, let's remember!"))) I put it off. Tomorrow. Later.
Truth is it's not even close to something I want to do. I don't want to drink gasoline, I don't want to drink alcohol. It's so complicated, everything is, when I'm drinking. Life is so much simpler now. One day at a time. 185 today.
B
Around and around we go.
Part of my affliction is denial, throughout my life but really manifested in the identification of being an alcoholic. So, when I get those thoughts ((("you've been sober for six months, huh. Surely not an alcoholic. I think if you think about it you'll realize you really did love wine, always did. Right? Can't remember? Well, let's remember!"))) I put it off. Tomorrow. Later.
Truth is it's not even close to something I want to do. I don't want to drink gasoline, I don't want to drink alcohol. It's so complicated, everything is, when I'm drinking. Life is so much simpler now. One day at a time. 185 today.
B
Great post Bexxed
It's really odd for me to think back to the way things used to be with booze, something that was once a massive part of my life, and to realise that I have as much chance of suddenly deciding to run into traffic as I do picking up a bottle again.
D
It's really odd for me to think back to the way things used to be with booze, something that was once a massive part of my life, and to realise that I have as much chance of suddenly deciding to run into traffic as I do picking up a bottle again.
D
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