Having some problems this week...sorry this is
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Having some problems this week...sorry this is
so long 
The good news is, today marks 227 alcohol-free days for me! Which is by far the longest I have ever gone, and all things considered, I am doing good, thanks in part to you all, and your advice, experiences and support.
It’s been a heck of a week though. I’ve got a couple things going on that are causing me distress, that I feel I just need to get off my chest, and maybe someone can relate to some of what I am dealing with right now. I welcome all experiences/advice/commiseration/dissent.
Now first let me preface this to say that since I quit drinking, I have made it through three weddings, two funerals, numerous parties, lots of dinners, several bars, and various other social gatherings without picking back up. I have also watched my husband drink himself silly many times since I quit, and have not succumbed to the pressures. I’ve kept my head up and on straight for the most part, and have stayed committed to not drinking in spite of being tested many, many times.
The one thing I have required through all of this is my daily “quiet time”. For some people meetings are tantamount to maintaining sobriety –for me so far it has been the idea that no matter what happens during day or night, I will still have an hour or two at the end of the day for some quiet reflection, reading, playing with the dogs, just spending time doing things that help me relax and keep my head on straight. There’s been countless times I’ve had to stay up really late/early to capture this precious time, usually because the nights my husband hits the bottle he might stay up extra late and I just have to wait him out, to get to where I need to be mentally and emotionally.
So anyway my husband has this friend, we’ll call him Dopey. My husband and Dopey have been friends for many years, since before I came along 16 years ago. I do kind of like Dopey, I mean over the years I would say I’ve enjoyed his friendship, he’s a complete mess but is really smart and always polite (though occasionally lecherous) with me.
Dopey has a long-time girlfriend, let’s call her Daffy. A year ago Daffy ran off on Dopey with another man which left Dopey completely devastated. We were supportive of Dopey through all of this, I felt genuinely very sad for him and we both think a little less of Daffy because of how she has hurt Dopey. But still, he took her back.
In addition to being unfaithful, Daffy has also developed some bad habits over the years that have diminished their standard of living considerably. She stopped drinking a few years back but has since taken up a pretty serious speed/pill habit which makes her have very sticky fingers which has resulted in her losing many jobs. Daffy has not only stolen from Dopey but many of her employers too, and wouldn’t you know it, every time Daffy comes over to our place she makes a beeline for our bathroom and stays in there a long time, no doubt looking for narcotics or anything else she can steal without being caught right away. Of course we don’t have any narcotic medications in our home because I am an addict and simply cannot have them around. But this does not stop her from looking, just the same.
Dopey told us about a year ago that he was taking Daffy back and since he could not defeat her bad drug habits, he was going to join her. And he has. They’ve both lost a ton of weight, look like they never sleep, and never stop talking. Their home fell into extreme filth and disrepair and they stopped paying rent all together several months ago.
So Dopey and Daffy found themselves facing eviction this week. Actually Dopey and Daffy have known for many months now that they were facing eviction because they simply stopped paying their rent and waited for the landlord to get a judgment against them before making any serious attempts to vacate the property. Finally this week the Sheriff showed up to boot them out and they suddenly realized they were going to need a place to stay and a place to put all their stuff.
I have no idea what they’ve been doing all this time, my husband and I just assumed they were preparing for their move. Dopey had assured us they had some money socked away to get them into a new place since they haven’t been paying rent for so long, and we believed them. Why wouldn’t we? We just assumed it would be easy to save money when one is no longer paying rent, even with some bad habits.
But as it turns out that is not the case. Dopey called my husband at 11 pm the same day they got kicked out by the Sheriff. They had nowhere to go, no money for a hotel, and of course it is freezing out. They have four old cars but only one (barely) running at the moment. Dopey needed to stash at least one car at our house and also hinted strongly that they could use a place to stay. Dopey and Daffy also have two teenage daughters, one dog and five cats who have no doubt suffered through all of this mess. I told Dopey I could take their dog and find him a new home but he said no, he wants the dog with him, wherever they end up.
The thing is that I can take the dog but Dopey and Daffy cannot stay with us. They are constant drama, filth and chaos. Plus even though we don’t have any kids, we have two very large dogs and my dog has made it known she does not like Daffy and Dopey at all – one time when we were out of town, my house sitter told me they just happened to “stop by” and made the mistake of walking into our house without knocking, at which time my dog chased them right back out of the front door and out into the yard and would not let them in the house. You can imagine, under the circumstances, how stressful it would be on all of us to have them stay with us.
So we found ourselves at 11 o’clock on a weeknight faced with quite a dilemma. It’s freezing out, they can’t keep their car running, they have no money and nowhere to go, they are circling our house like wolves and are barely taking “no” for an answer.
So my husband called and booked them a hotel room for two nights to buy them some time to get their stuff together. Two nights was all we could do. We also let them stash one of their non-running vehicles in our driveway, much to the chagrin of our neighbors (we have a nice,pretty, quiet street and we all like to keep it that way).
So I guess yesterday, my husband told me Daffy and Dopey just showed up at our house about 5 pm (I was still at work). Dopey claimed all of his tools were stolen, said they needed to work on the car that is now parked in our driveway, etc. etc. My husband gave him some tools to use, and in the meantime Daffy insisted on coming into our house and using the bathroom again, and again, she was in there a suspiciously long time. Dopey did some work to the car and then came into our house where Daffy already was, and planted himself on our couch next to Daffy, intending, apparently to have a visit. My hubby humored them for a few minutes and then said, “hey guys, I’ve got things to do, you need to go.”
And Daffy says, “Why should we have to go?” (which really bothers me)
My husband explains to her because, like he said, he’s got things to do, he just doesn’t have time to entertain them at the moment, dogs need attention, dinner needs cooked, etc. etc., they need to just move on down the road. Keep in mind they’ve still got another night in a hotel, on us, so her attempted insistence at staying when she was clearly asked to leave, is troubling.
He finally ran them off, before I got home from work, and of course they showed up later under the guise of working on the car again, to which my husband told them they could only come work on their car during daylight hours, when one of us is home.
This is becoming a huge disruption. Also yesterday my husband’s sister called out of the blue, wanting to stay with us this weekend for some reason (she’s never done this before). She has a young daughter who is very hyperactive and has to be heavily medicated to act properly. I get along with my husband’s sister in small doses but she is also very hyper, doesn’t sleep, and never stops talking.
This is what I will be coming home to tonight. I won’t be able to spend time with my dogs because they are very big and not used to kids, much less hyper ones, and I will not set them up to fail. I know I can count on zero quiet time at the end of this very long week and I am trying to be nice, but I feel resentful and just really tired of it all. I am out of the house 50 to 60 hours a week working or commuting to work, and my quiet evenings are my oasis in the stormy seas of life.
So I’ve got the sister in law to deal with this weekend, and her obnoxious kid, and also Dopey and Daffy. As of right now they should be out of the hotel unless they somehow scraped up enough money to pay for another night.
I am deeply resenting these intrusions into my world. I don’t ask for much and I am very protective of my quiet time. A huge reason why I quit drinking in the first place was because I no longer wanted drama and instability in my life and I have worked hard to create a peaceful existence for myself. My home has always been the one place I could find shelter from the storm (for the most part, though when my husband really gets into his liquor, that can be hard) but I’ve overcome all of it, I think I deserve a little peace and quiet.
Can anyone else understand why all this would be making me feel crazy? And irritable, and pissed off…
I hope these storms will pass soon, and I also hope Daffy and Dopey don’t try to rob us in our sleep
Sorry so long. I know this is rambling but I am feeling angry and tired today and I just want to know what other people might think about all this, or some of it, if you didn’t make it all the way through
tl;dr - family and friends making demands on time, space and money and trying to bring their chaos into our home.
The good news is, today marks 227 alcohol-free days for me! Which is by far the longest I have ever gone, and all things considered, I am doing good, thanks in part to you all, and your advice, experiences and support.
It’s been a heck of a week though. I’ve got a couple things going on that are causing me distress, that I feel I just need to get off my chest, and maybe someone can relate to some of what I am dealing with right now. I welcome all experiences/advice/commiseration/dissent.
Now first let me preface this to say that since I quit drinking, I have made it through three weddings, two funerals, numerous parties, lots of dinners, several bars, and various other social gatherings without picking back up. I have also watched my husband drink himself silly many times since I quit, and have not succumbed to the pressures. I’ve kept my head up and on straight for the most part, and have stayed committed to not drinking in spite of being tested many, many times.
The one thing I have required through all of this is my daily “quiet time”. For some people meetings are tantamount to maintaining sobriety –for me so far it has been the idea that no matter what happens during day or night, I will still have an hour or two at the end of the day for some quiet reflection, reading, playing with the dogs, just spending time doing things that help me relax and keep my head on straight. There’s been countless times I’ve had to stay up really late/early to capture this precious time, usually because the nights my husband hits the bottle he might stay up extra late and I just have to wait him out, to get to where I need to be mentally and emotionally.
So anyway my husband has this friend, we’ll call him Dopey. My husband and Dopey have been friends for many years, since before I came along 16 years ago. I do kind of like Dopey, I mean over the years I would say I’ve enjoyed his friendship, he’s a complete mess but is really smart and always polite (though occasionally lecherous) with me.
Dopey has a long-time girlfriend, let’s call her Daffy. A year ago Daffy ran off on Dopey with another man which left Dopey completely devastated. We were supportive of Dopey through all of this, I felt genuinely very sad for him and we both think a little less of Daffy because of how she has hurt Dopey. But still, he took her back.
In addition to being unfaithful, Daffy has also developed some bad habits over the years that have diminished their standard of living considerably. She stopped drinking a few years back but has since taken up a pretty serious speed/pill habit which makes her have very sticky fingers which has resulted in her losing many jobs. Daffy has not only stolen from Dopey but many of her employers too, and wouldn’t you know it, every time Daffy comes over to our place she makes a beeline for our bathroom and stays in there a long time, no doubt looking for narcotics or anything else she can steal without being caught right away. Of course we don’t have any narcotic medications in our home because I am an addict and simply cannot have them around. But this does not stop her from looking, just the same.
Dopey told us about a year ago that he was taking Daffy back and since he could not defeat her bad drug habits, he was going to join her. And he has. They’ve both lost a ton of weight, look like they never sleep, and never stop talking. Their home fell into extreme filth and disrepair and they stopped paying rent all together several months ago.
So Dopey and Daffy found themselves facing eviction this week. Actually Dopey and Daffy have known for many months now that they were facing eviction because they simply stopped paying their rent and waited for the landlord to get a judgment against them before making any serious attempts to vacate the property. Finally this week the Sheriff showed up to boot them out and they suddenly realized they were going to need a place to stay and a place to put all their stuff.
I have no idea what they’ve been doing all this time, my husband and I just assumed they were preparing for their move. Dopey had assured us they had some money socked away to get them into a new place since they haven’t been paying rent for so long, and we believed them. Why wouldn’t we? We just assumed it would be easy to save money when one is no longer paying rent, even with some bad habits.
But as it turns out that is not the case. Dopey called my husband at 11 pm the same day they got kicked out by the Sheriff. They had nowhere to go, no money for a hotel, and of course it is freezing out. They have four old cars but only one (barely) running at the moment. Dopey needed to stash at least one car at our house and also hinted strongly that they could use a place to stay. Dopey and Daffy also have two teenage daughters, one dog and five cats who have no doubt suffered through all of this mess. I told Dopey I could take their dog and find him a new home but he said no, he wants the dog with him, wherever they end up.
The thing is that I can take the dog but Dopey and Daffy cannot stay with us. They are constant drama, filth and chaos. Plus even though we don’t have any kids, we have two very large dogs and my dog has made it known she does not like Daffy and Dopey at all – one time when we were out of town, my house sitter told me they just happened to “stop by” and made the mistake of walking into our house without knocking, at which time my dog chased them right back out of the front door and out into the yard and would not let them in the house. You can imagine, under the circumstances, how stressful it would be on all of us to have them stay with us.
So we found ourselves at 11 o’clock on a weeknight faced with quite a dilemma. It’s freezing out, they can’t keep their car running, they have no money and nowhere to go, they are circling our house like wolves and are barely taking “no” for an answer.
So my husband called and booked them a hotel room for two nights to buy them some time to get their stuff together. Two nights was all we could do. We also let them stash one of their non-running vehicles in our driveway, much to the chagrin of our neighbors (we have a nice,pretty, quiet street and we all like to keep it that way).
So I guess yesterday, my husband told me Daffy and Dopey just showed up at our house about 5 pm (I was still at work). Dopey claimed all of his tools were stolen, said they needed to work on the car that is now parked in our driveway, etc. etc. My husband gave him some tools to use, and in the meantime Daffy insisted on coming into our house and using the bathroom again, and again, she was in there a suspiciously long time. Dopey did some work to the car and then came into our house where Daffy already was, and planted himself on our couch next to Daffy, intending, apparently to have a visit. My hubby humored them for a few minutes and then said, “hey guys, I’ve got things to do, you need to go.”
And Daffy says, “Why should we have to go?” (which really bothers me)
My husband explains to her because, like he said, he’s got things to do, he just doesn’t have time to entertain them at the moment, dogs need attention, dinner needs cooked, etc. etc., they need to just move on down the road. Keep in mind they’ve still got another night in a hotel, on us, so her attempted insistence at staying when she was clearly asked to leave, is troubling.
He finally ran them off, before I got home from work, and of course they showed up later under the guise of working on the car again, to which my husband told them they could only come work on their car during daylight hours, when one of us is home.
This is becoming a huge disruption. Also yesterday my husband’s sister called out of the blue, wanting to stay with us this weekend for some reason (she’s never done this before). She has a young daughter who is very hyperactive and has to be heavily medicated to act properly. I get along with my husband’s sister in small doses but she is also very hyper, doesn’t sleep, and never stops talking.
This is what I will be coming home to tonight. I won’t be able to spend time with my dogs because they are very big and not used to kids, much less hyper ones, and I will not set them up to fail. I know I can count on zero quiet time at the end of this very long week and I am trying to be nice, but I feel resentful and just really tired of it all. I am out of the house 50 to 60 hours a week working or commuting to work, and my quiet evenings are my oasis in the stormy seas of life.
So I’ve got the sister in law to deal with this weekend, and her obnoxious kid, and also Dopey and Daffy. As of right now they should be out of the hotel unless they somehow scraped up enough money to pay for another night.
I am deeply resenting these intrusions into my world. I don’t ask for much and I am very protective of my quiet time. A huge reason why I quit drinking in the first place was because I no longer wanted drama and instability in my life and I have worked hard to create a peaceful existence for myself. My home has always been the one place I could find shelter from the storm (for the most part, though when my husband really gets into his liquor, that can be hard) but I’ve overcome all of it, I think I deserve a little peace and quiet.
Can anyone else understand why all this would be making me feel crazy? And irritable, and pissed off…
I hope these storms will pass soon, and I also hope Daffy and Dopey don’t try to rob us in our sleep
Sorry so long. I know this is rambling but I am feeling angry and tired today and I just want to know what other people might think about all this, or some of it, if you didn’t make it all the way through
tl;dr - family and friends making demands on time, space and money and trying to bring their chaos into our home.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Time to end your association with this couple.Why on earth are you and husband tolerating them?They are not your responsibility.Your visiting relative plus her child will be hard work for a day or so by the sound of it.Just politely tell her to wait for you to invite her in future.Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by Jojay 
Time to end your association with this couple.Why on earth are you and husband tolerating them?They are not your responsibility.Your visiting relative plus her child will be hard work for a day or so by the sound of it.Just politely tell her to wait for you to invite her in future.Take care.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Ook. Sounds pretty awful. The sil and niece situation is, at least, temporary. Can you plan small escapes? Like taking the dogs for a walk? You could use the excuse, which is true, that the dogs don't always behave well around children.
As to your goofy friends, I know I don't have to tell you to keep the shields firmly up. Sounds like they are looking for a safe place to crash for a while. Get that car fixed and out of there even if you have to pay for it, and they won't have any excuse to come by. It does sound like your husband is in agreement, which is good.
All things pass. Stay strong. Peace.
As to your goofy friends, I know I don't have to tell you to keep the shields firmly up. Sounds like they are looking for a safe place to crash for a while. Get that car fixed and out of there even if you have to pay for it, and they won't have any excuse to come by. It does sound like your husband is in agreement, which is good.
All things pass. Stay strong. Peace.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I am with you 100% on the quiet time. Balance in my life, including daily quiet time, is essential for my recovery and sanity. Learning to say 'No' is the single best thing I learned in early recovery. Do you want these people in your life and disrupting your days? I have found that resentments which begin in a small way, can quickly grow out of control.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
You explained it very well, I think I have a clear picture of what's going on. I will add, I too MUST have some quiet time each and every day. Period. I call it "me time". So, as hard as it may be, I think you need to stand your ground firmly. You deserve to live your life the way you choose. You work very hard for that. Keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 242
Not rambling at all HopeandFaith1. I think you are very articulate and the picture you painted made me shudder. I don't believe it is anything but smart to jealously protect your sanity and piece of mind in your home.
I understand that these are long time friends of your husband, but that doesn't mean that you two have to enable them in their bad behavior.
I agree with Jojay, you are kind of stuck with the sister for the weekend but it doesn't sound like this is a normal occurrence. You have my sympathy!!!
Nice job putting your thoughts in writing, I hope it helped you a little.
I understand that these are long time friends of your husband, but that doesn't mean that you two have to enable them in their bad behavior.
I agree with Jojay, you are kind of stuck with the sister for the weekend but it doesn't sound like this is a normal occurrence. You have my sympathy!!!
Nice job putting your thoughts in writing, I hope it helped you a little.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by HopeandFaith1
Good question - I guess it's because over the years, Dopey has helped us through some things, he did let my hubby stay with him for a few days, years ago, when we were having some trouble, and they did help us move this last time, so I guess we feel somewhat obligated to do something - it is hard to just leave people out in the cold, especially knowing there are teenage daughters and pets involved. Luckily the girls got to go stay with a relative but the pets are still being dragged around through this.
time to put up boundaries, however harsh they may be.
I have to accept people the way they are, but don't have to allow unacceptable behavior around me.
"NO!" is a complete sentence
you didn't cause their problems
cant control them
cant cure them.
"Can anyone else understand why all this would be making me feel crazy? And irritable, and pissed off'
phew!! what I read, this here would be an understatement for me!
and I think we can all understand
but there IS a solution
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
((Oh honey))...that sounds like so much stress. I echo what others are saying...it's time to cut these "friends" loose. I know from personal experience it's going to be so hard. But keep in mind that you aren't doing them any favors either. They need to face the consequences for their actions and lack of actions. (And your hubby's long time friend needs to also understand that choosing to stay with Daffy - his rightful choice, of course- has real consequences. I certainly wouldn't invite someone onto my home who riffles through my bathroom cabinets. That's just a line in the sand. It's a reasonable boundary)
You have the responsibility to protect your sobriety.
You have the responsibility to protect your sobriety.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Here, practice with me, "No." Now again, "No." Getting easier?
Tell them you will have their car towed to wherever they end up, but it has to be out by the end of the week or you'll have it towed to the scrap yard. They're lying to you (he sold his tools for drugs, naturellement), they're looking around for what they can steal, and they're already acting entitled. Why would you inflict this on yourself?
You and your husband need to get on the same page and stay there, though, because they'll drive a truck through any daylight between you. I also feel bad for the kids and the pets, so your generous offer to keep their dog is maybe one worth repeating, because hey, it's not the dog's fault. But I hope it's a dog you like because odds are pretty decent it will end up being yours.
Like you, my home is my sanctuary and letting a mob of addicts and high-maintenance people like your sister-in-law invade would make me extremely unhappy. And when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Stand up for yourself and your life. Giving them a soft place to land just means they'll keep exploiting you.
Tell them you will have their car towed to wherever they end up, but it has to be out by the end of the week or you'll have it towed to the scrap yard. They're lying to you (he sold his tools for drugs, naturellement), they're looking around for what they can steal, and they're already acting entitled. Why would you inflict this on yourself?
You and your husband need to get on the same page and stay there, though, because they'll drive a truck through any daylight between you. I also feel bad for the kids and the pets, so your generous offer to keep their dog is maybe one worth repeating, because hey, it's not the dog's fault. But I hope it's a dog you like because odds are pretty decent it will end up being yours.
Like you, my home is my sanctuary and letting a mob of addicts and high-maintenance people like your sister-in-law invade would make me extremely unhappy. And when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Stand up for yourself and your life. Giving them a soft place to land just means they'll keep exploiting you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by Della1968
This is not a funny situation at all but I have to tell you the names made me literally lol. Good luck...maybe get a hotel room for yourself. One that allows dogs?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by tomsteve
imo, you and hubby have to stop holding their past help over your own heads. the help does NOT justify their actions today.
time to put up boundaries, however harsh they may be.
I have to accept people the way they are, but don't have to allow unacceptable behavior around me.
"NO!" is a complete sentence
you didn't cause their problems
cant control them
cant cure them.
"Can anyone else understand why all this would be making me feel crazy? And irritable, and pissed off'
phew!! what I read, this here would be an understatement for me!
and I think we can all understand
but there IS a solution
time to put up boundaries, however harsh they may be.
I have to accept people the way they are, but don't have to allow unacceptable behavior around me.
"NO!" is a complete sentence
you didn't cause their problems
cant control them
cant cure them.
"Can anyone else understand why all this would be making me feel crazy? And irritable, and pissed off'
phew!! what I read, this here would be an understatement for me!
and I think we can all understand
but there IS a solution
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
As another empath, here's the problem with our automatic assumption that they feel the pain we would feel if we were in their situation. I would feel ashamed, mortified, and beholden, so I would tend to assume that's what they're feeling and then I would feel sorry for them.
They're feeling none of those things. They might have a pretty good case of victim hood going for themselves, but it's entirely unjustified.
Don't let your empathy get in the way of your best interests.
They're feeling none of those things. They might have a pretty good case of victim hood going for themselves, but it's entirely unjustified.
Don't let your empathy get in the way of your best interests.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by Ariesagain
Here, practice with me, "No." Now again, "No." Getting easier?
Tell them you will have their car towed to wherever they end up, but it has to be out by the end of the week or you'll have it towed to the scrap yard. They're lying to you (he sold his tools for drugs, naturellement), they're looking around for what they can steal, and they're already acting entitled. Why would you inflict this on yourself?
You and your husband need to get on the same page and stay there, though, because they'll drive a truck through any daylight between you. I also feel bad for the kids and the pets, so your generous offer to keep their dog is maybe one worth repeating, because hey, it's not the dog's fault. But I hope it's a dog you like because odds are pretty decent it will end up being yours.
Like you, my home is my sanctuary and letting a mob of addicts and high-maintenance people like your sister-in-law invade would make me extremely unhappy. And when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Stand up for yourself and your life. Giving them a soft place to land just means they'll keep exploiting you.
Tell them you will have their car towed to wherever they end up, but it has to be out by the end of the week or you'll have it towed to the scrap yard. They're lying to you (he sold his tools for drugs, naturellement), they're looking around for what they can steal, and they're already acting entitled. Why would you inflict this on yourself?
You and your husband need to get on the same page and stay there, though, because they'll drive a truck through any daylight between you. I also feel bad for the kids and the pets, so your generous offer to keep their dog is maybe one worth repeating, because hey, it's not the dog's fault. But I hope it's a dog you like because odds are pretty decent it will end up being yours.
Like you, my home is my sanctuary and letting a mob of addicts and high-maintenance people like your sister-in-law invade would make me extremely unhappy. And when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Stand up for yourself and your life. Giving them a soft place to land just means they'll keep exploiting you.
I guess what I mean is, I am ok with cutting them off here soon, I am just afraid it won't stop them from coming around...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 120
I am sorry you are stuck in this position. As someone who has no children herself and also relishes my quiet time, I would not have any tolerance for any of that mess. I would be getting a really nice hotel room with a hot tub and a pool.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Daffy and Dopey need to meander on down the road. The in-law probably gets a pass for the weekend (as long as it doesn't become a regular thing). No way I'd jeopardize my sobriety to accommodate a couple of drug addicts and thieves. I know they are your friends, but that's the truth of the matter. If you didn't know them, you'd think they were addicts and thieves, right? Regardless of how it goes, I feel for ya.
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