Having some problems this week...sorry this is
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: surrey United Kingdom
Posts: 10
Time for Dopey and Daffey to move on and not come back. Sister in law needs to find alternative shoulder to cry on with her daughter, totally inappropriate people to have in your life when you have your own struggles........who holds you up? YOU...........not them. When you have needs who supplies them? YOU.........Get tough with negative people, they will have to choose their own path...but not by dragging you down. Good luck and hope things improve, stick to your own needs right now. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Just a quick update friends. It was a busy weekend!
I was under the impression we had one child staying with us Friday night, in addition to my sister in law, but it turned out to be two little kids! I am not sure where the other one snuck in or how it is I didn’t know about him sooner but they were all waiting for me when I got home Friday. Luckily the kids were too tired to be rowdy – they were actually quite sweet. Of course they wanted to see the dogs so I finally agreed but kept a real close eye on them, and the dogs were sweet with the kids.
My Rottweiler put her big head in their laps and just looked up at them with her big brown eyes, as gentle as could be. My mastiff was a little more shy but just laid down in close proximity to the kids. I will say that my Rottweiler has at times been a real handful and it seems she has calmed down considerably since I quit drinking. Coincidence? Maybe but probably not, since she gets a lot more quality time with me now.
My sister in law tried to corner me a few times to yak my ear off but I artfully, yet politely dodged her. I was very anxious about getting stuck because I really wanted to be watching the husband, kids and the dogs to make sure all was running smoothly, so I didn’t give her much of a chance to monopolize me.
Husband got pretty drunk in front of the kids. He started being pretty obnoxious and let the kids watch a movie that I did not approve of (it was just gory and had strong cuss words in it) but my sister in law seemed pretty oblivious to it all. I kept giving my husband very pointed looks and finally flat out asked him to change the channel but he would not.
Finally got the kids, husband, sister in law and dogs put to bed about 12:30 am. Whew. They left the next morning without incident. It was actually a nice visit for the most part. I liked having the kids around!
Saturday night husband got drunk again and this time stayed up until 1 am. Now I have explained many times that I need my little bit of time at the end of the day. I was really looking forward to a little quiet time to read and relax but it was not to be. He gets weird when he gets that drunk and he’ll make me very uncomfortable by just staring at me or wanting to have deep conversions about everything he thinks that is wrong with his life which quite honestly I don’t want to deal with at 1 in the morning. Even though he kept nodding off, he made it pretty clear he had no intention of just going to bed. TV was blaring which also makes the dogs nervous. Oh I was mad, I usually try not to argue with him when he’s drunk but I finally asked him at 1 am if he could please just go to bed, which he finally did, mumbling that I had ruined his night. Sigh.
So I was up until 2 am. My husband gives me a hard time for sleeping late on the weekends but it is because I have to stay up really late to get any sort of peace inside my head.
I explained to him, again, when he was sober the next day that I will endure his drinking, and other people’s drinking, and weddings, and funerals, and parties, without picking back up, as long as I can have a little bit of time to myself at the end of the day – that is really the only thing I require from him. Of course he seemed to completely understand where I was coming from, but he will forget again by this weekend. We’ve been married almost 16 years and he’s never stayed up very late before. Back when I also drank he’d be in bed by 11 at the latest but now seems to want to stay up as late as he possibly can.
So Sunday I cook him a nice dinner and he is having his rum like usual. For some reason about an hour after he eats he develops a horrible red rash all over his body, starts to itch and becomes quite uncomfortable, so I found myself making a Benadryl run at 10 pm last night. Get home and get the meds into him and he slowly starts to get better but he is very cranky and agitated. He finally went to bed about 11:30 pm and I stayed up half the night to make sure he was breathing ok and everything. Then today he calls me at work pissed off because I “let him go to sleep last night” and should have kept him all night in case he stopped breathing. When *I* was the one who stayed up half the night to make sure he was ok.
Oh and as for Daffy and Dopey, we didn’t hear a peep out of them until Sunday, when Dopey called and said he wanted to come work on the car this week. The one agreement we had with him was that he needed to work on his car on the weekends, while one of us was home, so of course he wants to do the exact opposite of what we agreed. My husband explained to him that they can’t be hanging around during the day when we’re not home and I really don’t want them there at night when I get off work, so it will have to be the weekends I guess. Something tells me that car is going to be there for quite a while yet.
They are still living in a hotel room. With what they are paying I don’t see how they will ever save up money for their own place. Not my problem I guess.
But the important thing is, 230 days sober and still going strong. That’s all I got folks, how are you all doing?
I was under the impression we had one child staying with us Friday night, in addition to my sister in law, but it turned out to be two little kids! I am not sure where the other one snuck in or how it is I didn’t know about him sooner but they were all waiting for me when I got home Friday. Luckily the kids were too tired to be rowdy – they were actually quite sweet. Of course they wanted to see the dogs so I finally agreed but kept a real close eye on them, and the dogs were sweet with the kids.
My Rottweiler put her big head in their laps and just looked up at them with her big brown eyes, as gentle as could be. My mastiff was a little more shy but just laid down in close proximity to the kids. I will say that my Rottweiler has at times been a real handful and it seems she has calmed down considerably since I quit drinking. Coincidence? Maybe but probably not, since she gets a lot more quality time with me now.
My sister in law tried to corner me a few times to yak my ear off but I artfully, yet politely dodged her. I was very anxious about getting stuck because I really wanted to be watching the husband, kids and the dogs to make sure all was running smoothly, so I didn’t give her much of a chance to monopolize me.
Husband got pretty drunk in front of the kids. He started being pretty obnoxious and let the kids watch a movie that I did not approve of (it was just gory and had strong cuss words in it) but my sister in law seemed pretty oblivious to it all. I kept giving my husband very pointed looks and finally flat out asked him to change the channel but he would not.
Finally got the kids, husband, sister in law and dogs put to bed about 12:30 am. Whew. They left the next morning without incident. It was actually a nice visit for the most part. I liked having the kids around!
Saturday night husband got drunk again and this time stayed up until 1 am. Now I have explained many times that I need my little bit of time at the end of the day. I was really looking forward to a little quiet time to read and relax but it was not to be. He gets weird when he gets that drunk and he’ll make me very uncomfortable by just staring at me or wanting to have deep conversions about everything he thinks that is wrong with his life which quite honestly I don’t want to deal with at 1 in the morning. Even though he kept nodding off, he made it pretty clear he had no intention of just going to bed. TV was blaring which also makes the dogs nervous. Oh I was mad, I usually try not to argue with him when he’s drunk but I finally asked him at 1 am if he could please just go to bed, which he finally did, mumbling that I had ruined his night. Sigh.
So I was up until 2 am. My husband gives me a hard time for sleeping late on the weekends but it is because I have to stay up really late to get any sort of peace inside my head.
I explained to him, again, when he was sober the next day that I will endure his drinking, and other people’s drinking, and weddings, and funerals, and parties, without picking back up, as long as I can have a little bit of time to myself at the end of the day – that is really the only thing I require from him. Of course he seemed to completely understand where I was coming from, but he will forget again by this weekend. We’ve been married almost 16 years and he’s never stayed up very late before. Back when I also drank he’d be in bed by 11 at the latest but now seems to want to stay up as late as he possibly can.
So Sunday I cook him a nice dinner and he is having his rum like usual. For some reason about an hour after he eats he develops a horrible red rash all over his body, starts to itch and becomes quite uncomfortable, so I found myself making a Benadryl run at 10 pm last night. Get home and get the meds into him and he slowly starts to get better but he is very cranky and agitated. He finally went to bed about 11:30 pm and I stayed up half the night to make sure he was breathing ok and everything. Then today he calls me at work pissed off because I “let him go to sleep last night” and should have kept him all night in case he stopped breathing. When *I* was the one who stayed up half the night to make sure he was ok.
Oh and as for Daffy and Dopey, we didn’t hear a peep out of them until Sunday, when Dopey called and said he wanted to come work on the car this week. The one agreement we had with him was that he needed to work on his car on the weekends, while one of us was home, so of course he wants to do the exact opposite of what we agreed. My husband explained to him that they can’t be hanging around during the day when we’re not home and I really don’t want them there at night when I get off work, so it will have to be the weekends I guess. Something tells me that car is going to be there for quite a while yet.
They are still living in a hotel room. With what they are paying I don’t see how they will ever save up money for their own place. Not my problem I guess.
But the important thing is, 230 days sober and still going strong. That’s all I got folks, how are you all doing?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by LilynLucy 
Time for Dopey and Daffey to move on and not come back. Sister in law needs to find alternative shoulder to cry on with her daughter, totally inappropriate people to have in your life when you have your own struggles........who holds you up? YOU...........not them. When you have needs who supplies them? YOU.........Get tough with negative people, they will have to choose their own path...but not by dragging you down. Good luck and hope things improve, stick to your own needs right now. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
I'm glad things are quiet again and that the visit went well. Bless the big fur babies for their good behavior. My son loves mastiffs and bulldogs, and has had quite a few over the years. Peace.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
I should clarify that I was a bad alcoholic for many years, and caused more than my share of problems, so I'm not trying to come across as St. Hope here...just trying to figure out how to live sober and be happy. Thanks everyone for being so supportive.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by Maudcat
I'm glad things are quiet again and that the visit went well. Bless the big fur babies for their good behavior. My son loves mastiffs and bulldogs, and has had quite a few over the years. Peace.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Glad things went reasonably well. I also have dogs who aren't used to kids or visitors for that matter and its tough to watch them carefully without them picking up on your stress about it. Glad it went well.
Your husband...sigh. I hope you can set more boundaries in the future to preserve your health and sanity. If someone insisted on me staying up that late just to be an audience for a drunkalogue, I would have big issues. This girl needs her sleep.
Maybe be prepared for the Druggie Duo to come back around when funds run low...
Sending you a hug.
Your husband...sigh. I hope you can set more boundaries in the future to preserve your health and sanity. If someone insisted on me staying up that late just to be an audience for a drunkalogue, I would have big issues. This girl needs her sleep.
Maybe be prepared for the Druggie Duo to come back around when funds run low...
Sending you a hug.
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