New to recovery, seeking support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 20
New to recovery, seeking support
Hello everyone.
I found this forum when I did a google search questioning the effects of wine and Benadryl on an ulcer. I read through a lot of the posts and it seems as though this is where I belong as I see myself in a lot of you.
I'm a problem/heavy drinker, having had my first drink, a 40oz. of Kobra beer, at the age of 12. I come from a long line of addicts and have distanced myself from my family because of that. I drank off and on for the next 25 years. My problem is I do not know when/how to stop once I start.
I have situational depression and anxiety stemming from a time where my exboyfriend committed suicide when I got together with my current fiancé. It crushed me, I blame myself, and I turned to heavy drinking to numb the pain. I abstained for 9 months while pregnant, but counted down the days until I could drink again and I've only been able to go 4 days without alcohol since I had my son, 14 months ago. It consumes me and my thoughts.
Last night I drank a six pack and a bottle or two of wine and today I feel gross, physically and mentally. I'm barely interacting with my children and I'd be content binge-watching something with the shades drawn instead of taking them out into the sunshine to play. That's a problem.
I'm in therapy, have been for 2 years or so. I just thought maybe I could get some much needed advice and support from SR, if you'll have me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I found this forum when I did a google search questioning the effects of wine and Benadryl on an ulcer. I read through a lot of the posts and it seems as though this is where I belong as I see myself in a lot of you.
I'm a problem/heavy drinker, having had my first drink, a 40oz. of Kobra beer, at the age of 12. I come from a long line of addicts and have distanced myself from my family because of that. I drank off and on for the next 25 years. My problem is I do not know when/how to stop once I start.
I have situational depression and anxiety stemming from a time where my exboyfriend committed suicide when I got together with my current fiancé. It crushed me, I blame myself, and I turned to heavy drinking to numb the pain. I abstained for 9 months while pregnant, but counted down the days until I could drink again and I've only been able to go 4 days without alcohol since I had my son, 14 months ago. It consumes me and my thoughts.
Last night I drank a six pack and a bottle or two of wine and today I feel gross, physically and mentally. I'm barely interacting with my children and I'd be content binge-watching something with the shades drawn instead of taking them out into the sunshine to play. That's a problem.
I'm in therapy, have been for 2 years or so. I just thought maybe I could get some much needed advice and support from SR, if you'll have me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
welcome. awesome job on taking the first step. You will find so much help here. What helps me is going to AA/NA meetings. I am also a mother and could easily sit on the couch and watch my daughter play while I numb out. If I make recovery a priority, go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps I feel I have a purpose. The good thing? You never have to feel this way again.
If you can look up AA in your area. call their phone line, find a meeting to go to tonight. You don't have to speak. Be honest with your family and tell them you want to get help and stop this insanity. Truly. The best thing I heard from a wonderful lady in a meeting was "you don't have to do this alone, and you can't get clean on your own." for years I was trying to stop. Setting up all these ideas in my head, 30 days clean etc. Really its just one day at a time.
I am here if you want to chat. Send me a message. You did a great job by finding SR. This recovery site has been my go to for years.
If you can look up AA in your area. call their phone line, find a meeting to go to tonight. You don't have to speak. Be honest with your family and tell them you want to get help and stop this insanity. Truly. The best thing I heard from a wonderful lady in a meeting was "you don't have to do this alone, and you can't get clean on your own." for years I was trying to stop. Setting up all these ideas in my head, 30 days clean etc. Really its just one day at a time.
I am here if you want to chat. Send me a message. You did a great job by finding SR. This recovery site has been my go to for years.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by SuzyCube 
It consumes me and my thoughts.
I could not have been more wrong.
Welcome to SR SuzyCube. Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 20
Thank you!
I won't be telling my family. My mother and most of my aunts have passed and those who are left are addicted to heroin, meth, pills, etc. and they are thieves so I stay far away.
I'm not sure if AA is right for me but I would be open to going to a meeting. Unfortunately, my fiancé works late, so I always have children and I go to school during the day. But maybe one day I'll find myself with free time and no kids, which has always been a dream of mine. 😜
I won't be telling my family. My mother and most of my aunts have passed and those who are left are addicted to heroin, meth, pills, etc. and they are thieves so I stay far away.
I'm not sure if AA is right for me but I would be open to going to a meeting. Unfortunately, my fiancé works late, so I always have children and I go to school during the day. But maybe one day I'll find myself with free time and no kids, which has always been a dream of mine. 😜
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, SuzieCube; so glad that you have this very supportive, understanding and encouraging site.
We are here for you 24/7/365.
There are a couple of really threads that I like to recommend to Newcomers. I'll attach the links in a few minutes.
So glad that you have found us!
We are here for you 24/7/365.
There are a couple of really threads that I like to recommend to Newcomers. I'll attach the links in a few minutes.
So glad that you have found us!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
SR Classes are a great way to get to know member who are also new to recovery; I've posted the link to the December 2016 Class; there will soon be a January 2017 Class:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...+december+2016
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...+december+2016
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
A Plan for recovery can be so instrumental in achieving sobriety and recovery.
Below is a link to a fantastic SR thread compiled by our Dee:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst
Below is a link to a fantastic SR thread compiled by our Dee:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
The 24 Hour Recovery connection thread is a nice place to commit to sobriety 24 hours at a time and to meet other SR members:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-192-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-192-a.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 20
Thank you, everyone! And I will be checking out the links.
I'm at the end of the first day without a drink and I can usually go another day or two but day four is where I give in. I'm hoping I don't fall into temptation this time.
I'm at the end of the first day without a drink and I can usually go another day or two but day four is where I give in. I'm hoping I don't fall into temptation this time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: California
Posts: 2,722
Welcome to SR SuzyCube. Today could be the beginning of a brand new life for you--but you can't do it alone. I sure couldn't. Look up AA and go. Sobriety really is done One Day at a Time--24 hrs or even one hour at a time. I really didn't have a desire to stop drinking when I went to AA. What I wanted was the consequences to go away. And to feel better. Thankfully I went to AA just about every evening for awhile and before I knew it, I had a new addiction (smile)--sobriety! You can do it too. Please give sobriety a try.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 20
I keep seeing some of the same advice posted over and over-is sobriety really such a 'one size fits all' deal? I see AA recommended a ton and honestly, I simply do not find it appealing. Am I naive in thinking that I do not need or want that? Regardless, I always have a child with me, except when I'm in school, and I find it hard to do much of anything. Maybe some campus resources? Is that a thing?
If the situation were dire, I would try ANYTHING. I don't think it's there yet, but is steadily moving in that direction so I feel it's time for action. I'd love to just quit drinking low-key, with a little help from SR, is that delusional? I keep hearing that you can't do it alone and I don't buy it. I've accomplished a few things alone and have faith in my determination but don't want to be blind to tried and true.
I'm going to formulate a plan after I work my way through the plan thread. I like the idea of having a plan, I like the idea of being in control. Drinking has made me feel aimless and out of control so it's a bit of a no-brainer to clean up this mess.
If the situation were dire, I would try ANYTHING. I don't think it's there yet, but is steadily moving in that direction so I feel it's time for action. I'd love to just quit drinking low-key, with a little help from SR, is that delusional? I keep hearing that you can't do it alone and I don't buy it. I've accomplished a few things alone and have faith in my determination but don't want to be blind to tried and true.
I'm going to formulate a plan after I work my way through the plan thread. I like the idea of having a plan, I like the idea of being in control. Drinking has made me feel aimless and out of control so it's a bit of a no-brainer to clean up this mess.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Here is the link, SuzieCube. This might be something you could pursue at your own pace and at home after your child settles in for the night.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
Hi Suzy cube, and welcome. Some here have used AA, and some have used other approaches. You are not delusional. It's great that you're reading through the thread on making a plan. You may also want to check out the AVRT threads in the Secular Connections sub-forum, as it sounds like it might align with your viewpoint. You absolutely can do this and it can be straightforward. Look around SR -- there's a wealth of info here!
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