Parent is an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 2
Parent is an alcoholic
Hi
So I'm new to this and I'm not sure where to start.
My Mum is an alcoholic and has been since I care to remember, I have tried so many things to help her and support her but to no avail, she still hasn't admitted to having a problem but she shows all the signs of an addict, she will drink 1/2 btl to 1 btl of vodka a day.
3 weeks ago I lost my Dad to cancer, my Mum and Dad were married nearly 50yrs, along time to be with someone, we are all hurting and whilst I deal my Mums grief I can't grieve because she is drinking to much and has now taken to her bed, she refuses to see a doctor and tells me she hasn't been drinking. Whilst my Dad was alive we could at least monitor it somehow, now she has free run of the house who knows how much she will consume, it's only been 3 weeks and I'm already stressed about it, can anybody give me some advice thank you in advance
So I'm new to this and I'm not sure where to start.
My Mum is an alcoholic and has been since I care to remember, I have tried so many things to help her and support her but to no avail, she still hasn't admitted to having a problem but she shows all the signs of an addict, she will drink 1/2 btl to 1 btl of vodka a day.
3 weeks ago I lost my Dad to cancer, my Mum and Dad were married nearly 50yrs, along time to be with someone, we are all hurting and whilst I deal my Mums grief I can't grieve because she is drinking to much and has now taken to her bed, she refuses to see a doctor and tells me she hasn't been drinking. Whilst my Dad was alive we could at least monitor it somehow, now she has free run of the house who knows how much she will consume, it's only been 3 weeks and I'm already stressed about it, can anybody give me some advice thank you in advance
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'm very sorry for your loss and the reason you have had to ask this question. It sounds dire for her.
You can always have the emergency personnel come and check on her (ambulance, etc.)
I'm afraid you aren't going to be able to take away your mother's grief or her alcoholism.
I hope you have some support for you - can you go to an Al Anon meeting, or a Celebrate Recovery meeting or to your church or a counselor? You need care and comfort, as well.
You can always have the emergency personnel come and check on her (ambulance, etc.)
I'm afraid you aren't going to be able to take away your mother's grief or her alcoholism.
I hope you have some support for you - can you go to an Al Anon meeting, or a Celebrate Recovery meeting or to your church or a counselor? You need care and comfort, as well.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. 
You can't do much to help your mom, not while she's denying there's a problem. 
Only thing you can do is get support for yourself. AlAnon is a good place to start.
You can't do much to help your mom, not while she's denying there's a problem. 
Only thing you can do is get support for yourself. AlAnon is a good place to start. Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Welcome and I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad.
There is little you can do to help your mother unless and until she decides she needs help.
It might be helpful for you to check out AlAnon in your area for support for you.
There is little you can do to help your mother unless and until she decides she needs help.
It might be helpful for you to check out AlAnon in your area for support for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Welcome to the site. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. You can't force someone to get sober, or talk them out of it, especially if they are denying they even have a problem when they clearly do, when can be very frustrating.
You can seek support at alanon for yourself, but that's all really you can do unless she finally decides to stop for herself.
You can seek support at alanon for yourself, but that's all really you can do unless she finally decides to stop for herself.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by Daisy46 
Thank you, I'll have a look to see if we have an Al Anon, I didn't know they helped unless you were an addict.
I just know my Mum isn't grieving properly whilst she's reaching out to the bottle.
I just know my Mum isn't grieving properly whilst she's reaching out to the bottle.
To clarify, Al Anon is different from AA. Al Anon is for family and friends of those addicted, whereas AA is for the alcoholic themselves. At Al Anon meetings you will find support for yourself and be able to ask questions and get information. I hope that helps.
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