Off The Wagon
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Do you work a program or have a plan, kinzoku? Do you have face-to-face support? Can you call a friend to take you to a meeting?
Please put the glass down and get rid of the liquor in your house. Please do whatever it takes so that this episode does not become disastrously permanent. Get back on that wagon; it's going to a good place.
If you don't work a Plan or have a program, below is a great thread to read:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst
Please put the glass down and get rid of the liquor in your house. Please do whatever it takes so that this episode does not become disastrously permanent. Get back on that wagon; it's going to a good place.
If you don't work a Plan or have a program, below is a great thread to read:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
I can relate. Posting here is a good thing. But do you have a contact/AA sponsor you can call for help?
I fell off the wagon about 2 years ago, after drinking non stop for 6 days i called an AA friend and said can you help me.
He picked me up and we went to a meeting, he bought me a Wendy's combo and told me to eat it, drink a liter of water and go to bed and call him the next day.
I did what was asked. And have been in contact with him (or another AA/recovery member EVERY day since)
Don't try to do it on your own. In my personal experience it NEVER works long term.
You're not alone.
I fell off the wagon about 2 years ago, after drinking non stop for 6 days i called an AA friend and said can you help me.
He picked me up and we went to a meeting, he bought me a Wendy's combo and told me to eat it, drink a liter of water and go to bed and call him the next day.
I did what was asked. And have been in contact with him (or another AA/recovery member EVERY day since)
Don't try to do it on your own. In my personal experience it NEVER works long term.
You're not alone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by kinzoku 
I dunno what else to say.
3 very frequently repeated words. So much so that I take them for granted. But there is no better way to describe alcoholism. Why in the face of utter defeat do I continue to pick up? Why do I continue to worship alcohol and give it complete power over me?
Because I'm an alcoholic, and I'm wired to do it. I cannot stay sober alone. I need help. Sure, I can get myself so sick and desperate that I can eventually stop. Sometimes for quite a while. But I always go back if left to my own devices.
There are a lot of different types of help. But an absolute willingness and acceptance are the start of any recovery.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
"Remember that we deal with alcohol-cunning, baffling, powerful!".
3 very frequently repeated words. So much so that I take them for granted. But there is no better way to describe alcoholism. Why in the face of utter defeat do I continue to pick up? Why do I continue to worship alcohol and give it complete power over me?
Because I'm an alcoholic, and I'm wired to do it. I cannot stay sober alone. I need help. Sure, I can get myself so sick and desperate that I can eventually stop. Sometimes for quite a while. But I always go back if left to my own devices.
There are a lot of different types of help. But an absolute willingness and acceptance are the start of any recovery.
3 very frequently repeated words. So much so that I take them for granted. But there is no better way to describe alcoholism. Why in the face of utter defeat do I continue to pick up? Why do I continue to worship alcohol and give it complete power over me?
Because I'm an alcoholic, and I'm wired to do it. I cannot stay sober alone. I need help. Sure, I can get myself so sick and desperate that I can eventually stop. Sometimes for quite a while. But I always go back if left to my own devices.
There are a lot of different types of help. But an absolute willingness and acceptance are the start of any recovery.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
You came here and posted, so you are listening to so me sort of higher power. That is the force you need to tap into to succeed, and there is access to it by reading and posting here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: midwest
Posts: 484
I hope you can find your way back because the lesson is the same but the effects can be from feeling bad to disease to jail (with life-changing side-effects) or death. Giving up the drinking is a small sacrifice for the benefit of being able to deal with life and thrive without avoidable strife. Much love and I wish you the best Kinzoku!
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Kinzoku, I just read a bunch of your posts. Ive seen you post before but I guess I never kept up. It was fascinating to me the similarities I felt to my own experiences when reading your posts. Our circumstances are quite different but the relationship to alcohol seems similar.
Then I got to where you had the one sip of beer. I was on the edge of my seat hoping you didnt drink the beer. And you didnt, but for that sip. And reading whats happened since was quite heartbreaking. Not even so much due to the fact that I am sad for you, but for myself. Because I know that is my story too. I cant have that one sip of beer or I am screwed. Maybe not that day or the next but it will happen.
Wishing you the best and hoping you can get a foothold in sobriety again real soon.
Then I got to where you had the one sip of beer. I was on the edge of my seat hoping you didnt drink the beer. And you didnt, but for that sip. And reading whats happened since was quite heartbreaking. Not even so much due to the fact that I am sad for you, but for myself. Because I know that is my story too. I cant have that one sip of beer or I am screwed. Maybe not that day or the next but it will happen.
Wishing you the best and hoping you can get a foothold in sobriety again real soon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
Originally Posted by Fallow
Kinzoku, I just read a bunch of your posts. Ive seen you post before but I guess I never kept up. It was fascinating to me the similarities I felt to my own experiences when reading your posts. Our circumstances are quite different but the relationship to alcohol seems similar.
Then I got to where you had the one sip of beer. I was on the edge of my seat hoping you didnt drink the beer. And you didnt, but for that sip. And reading whats happened since was quite heartbreaking. Not even so much due to the fact that I am sad for you, but for myself. Because I know that is my story too. I cant have that one sip of beer or I am screwed. Maybe not that day or the next but it will happen.
Wishing you the best and hoping you can get a foothold in sobriety again real soon.
Then I got to where you had the one sip of beer. I was on the edge of my seat hoping you didnt drink the beer. And you didnt, but for that sip. And reading whats happened since was quite heartbreaking. Not even so much due to the fact that I am sad for you, but for myself. Because I know that is my story too. I cant have that one sip of beer or I am screwed. Maybe not that day or the next but it will happen.
Wishing you the best and hoping you can get a foothold in sobriety again real soon.
Its so crazy that it started at that sip. but it did.
Every year that I age I realize that the cliches in life are true. That stories repeat themselves.
It's like a movie. I played it back over in my head as I lay there with a hangover (I still have one) this morning.
One sip.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,198
We have all been there Kinzoku
Don't spend too much time beating yourself up about drinking, it won't change anything. I'm sure you will get your mind in the right place and that is what it will take. I know from my own experience that once I was in the right place mentally the cravings became much less frequent and much less severe
I remember several months ago you saying you were good at "white knuckling," that is a great asset to have but if you can really occupy your mind with something else then you don't have to do so much of that - thank goodness too I say because I am absolutely useless at white knuckling
Good luck
Don't spend too much time beating yourself up about drinking, it won't change anything. I'm sure you will get your mind in the right place and that is what it will take. I know from my own experience that once I was in the right place mentally the cravings became much less frequent and much less severe
I remember several months ago you saying you were good at "white knuckling," that is a great asset to have but if you can really occupy your mind with something else then you don't have to do so much of that - thank goodness too I say because I am absolutely useless at white knuckling
Good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
K- you posted here. Some one asked why? There are a lot of why's I can think of. Lots of questions, support here. Prayers to you, keep posting. PJ
Thankyou for your prayers.
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