Parent is an alcoholic
 

Hi

So I'm new to this and I'm not sure where to start.
My Mum is an alcoholic and has been since I care to remember, I have tried so many things to help her and support her but to no avail, she still hasn't admitted to having a problem but she shows all the signs of an addict, she will drink 1/2 btl to 1 btl of vodka a day.
3 weeks ago I lost my Dad to cancer, my Mum and Dad were married nearly 50yrs, along time to be with someone, we are all hurting and whilst I deal my Mums grief I can't grieve because she is drinking to much and has now taken to her bed, she refuses to see a doctor and tells me she hasn't been drinking. Whilst my Dad was alive we could at least monitor it somehow, now she has free run of the house who knows how much she will consume, it's only been 3 weeks and I'm already stressed about it, can anybody give me some advice thank you in advance

I'm very sorry for your loss and the reason you have had to ask this question. It sounds dire for her.

You can always have the emergency personnel come and check on her (ambulance, etc.)

I'm afraid you aren't going to be able to take away your mother's grief or her alcoholism.

I hope you have some support for you - can you go to an Al Anon meeting, or a Celebrate Recovery meeting or to your church or a counselor? You need care and comfort, as well.

Check out an ACA meeting (Adult Children of Alcoholics). They will be helpful to you.

Sorry for what brings you here Daisy know your not alone & we have a great friends & family section aswell as here your guaranteed support that I can promise you

Have you heard of Al Anon before ?

Welcome to the family. :hug: You can't do much to help your mom, not while she's denying there's a problem. :( Only thing you can do is get support for yourself. AlAnon is a good place to start. :hug:

Welcome and I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad.

There is little you can do to help your mother unless and until she decides she needs help.

It might be helpful for you to check out AlAnon in your area for support for you.

Thank you, I'll have a look to see if we have an Al Anon, I didn't know they helped unless you were an addict.
I just know my Mum isn't grieving properly whilst she's reaching out to the bottle.

Welcome to the site. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. You can't force someone to get sober, or talk them out of it, especially if they are denying they even have a problem when they clearly do, when can be very frustrating.
You can seek support at alanon for yourself, but that's all really you can do unless she finally decides to stop for herself.

Hi Daisy and welcome. I too am sorry for the loss of you dad and also for your mother.
To clarify, Al Anon is different from AA. Al Anon is for family and friends of those addicted, whereas AA is for the alcoholic themselves. At Al Anon meetings you will find support for yourself and be able to ask questions and get information. I hope that helps.

I am so sorry, Daisy. Please take care of yourself. Welcome.