Binge Drinking ..... ruining my life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 5
Binge Drinking ..... ruining my life
Can't believe I've signed up ..... just can't risk another weekend like the last one. I'm not alcohol dependant but I've certainly got a drink problem.
Every bad thing that's ever happened to me has been a result of alcohol.
Can't look my daughter in the eye, can't tell my partner that I've got a problem....
I don't drink often, maybe twice a month but when I do I just pour it down my throat, I've no control over it and I change into someone I'm not..... a f*cking lunatic.
I need help
Every bad thing that's ever happened to me has been a result of alcohol.
Can't look my daughter in the eye, can't tell my partner that I've got a problem....
I don't drink often, maybe twice a month but when I do I just pour it down my throat, I've no control over it and I change into someone I'm not..... a f*cking lunatic.
I need help
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Acceptance of the problem and WIllingness to change were the keys that opened the door to a new path. Every bad thing that happened to me was the Decision I made to pick up that first drink.
It's the engine that kills - not the caboose.
Welcome - ya don't have to drink!
It's the engine that kills - not the caboose.
Welcome - ya don't have to drink!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 5
Thanks for your reply.... just not sure where to get help from, or is it something I can do on my own. Don't really want to confide in family or friends at this stage.... as it sounds like another "I'm never drinking" again comment
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Welcome to SR. Lots of good info and support around here.
As we say in AA, there are as many different types of alcoholism as there are alcoholics. Some of us were binge drinkers, some of us drank all day every day by the end (me), some of us....but we all have one thing in common: once we start, we are powerless to stop.
Hope to see you around.
As we say in AA, there are as many different types of alcoholism as there are alcoholics. Some of us were binge drinkers, some of us drank all day every day by the end (me), some of us....but we all have one thing in common: once we start, we are powerless to stop.
Hope to see you around.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
I turned into someone who I detested when I drank, too. And, to add to the insanity, that would push me to drink again. I'm glad you recognize that you need and want to stop drinking. We do understand how hard this is, but you will find lots of support here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 5
feel like a fraud saying "3 days" sober, as won't even want a drink for weeks after the weekend I just had.
So don't want the memories of my binge to leave me. Really don't want to drink again, should I go to my GP and try and get some professional help. Need to hide this from my partner until I can really get my head around what I'm acknowledging!
So don't want the memories of my binge to leave me. Really don't want to drink again, should I go to my GP and try and get some professional help. Need to hide this from my partner until I can really get my head around what I'm acknowledging!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
Hi, welcome! What are you hiding from your partner? Pretty sure s/he knows about the binge behaviors already, and will be happy for them to disappear. There is no need for you to count days at all. Some people find it encouraging, some not. It sounds like you are in the mode of not drinking again for awhile. That's great because it gives you the luxury of time to plan to replace alcohol with somehing more productive and healthy. There's lots of people here who are good "listeners" for your sobriety plan!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 5
Not sure what I'm hiding, probably shame and embarrassment. He does like our drinking evenings together which never seems to spiral to much. Christmas is coming and I need to change our plans so to avoid anything that will turn into something disasterous. Thanks for your advice, your so right about the luxuary of some head space! And sure James does know that I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
The good news is that you can now let go of "shame and embarrassment". It's hard but replace those feelings with pride in yourself. What a good idea to make some new traditions for the holidays that don't include alcohol. "Disaster" is no bueno and nobody else will notice your white knuckles. Maybe cookies? Lots and lots of cookies!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi nj, thanks for posting. You are not alone. I'm sure sooner or later someone will post here that has the same issue. The term alcoholic can be defined so many different ways. Signing up here is a great start.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Nj1977 
Thanks for your reply.... just not sure where to get help from, or is it something I can do on my own. Don't really want to confide in family or friends at this stage.... as it sounds like another "I'm never drinking" again comment
When I went to AA I said to my wife that if I go everyone will know I'm a drunk. She simply said, they already know. When I understood I was an alcoholic, it became unanimous.
Just don't drink today works for me while staying in touch with SR and working a structured program.
There are many ways, find one that provides you the support you need. There is something about one drinker helping another - a kinship of those who use to suffer sharing their experience, strength and hope with those who are still suffering.
Keep posting
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. 
I credit SR with saving my life. Due in large part to this site, I will have seven years sober in 8 days. I hope the support here can do the same for you. 
I credit SR with saving my life. Due in large part to this site, I will have seven years sober in 8 days. I hope the support here can do the same for you. Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Good to meet you, nj1977.
At one point I was only drinking on weekends. Every time alcohol was in my system there was no telling what would happen. It was dangerous & embarrassing. By not stopping when I saw the warning signs I ended up completely dependent on it. I was drinking every day in the end. It's good you're realizing what needs to be happen. Stopping all together was the only way I could stay safe. You can do it!
At one point I was only drinking on weekends. Every time alcohol was in my system there was no telling what would happen. It was dangerous & embarrassing. By not stopping when I saw the warning signs I ended up completely dependent on it. I was drinking every day in the end. It's good you're realizing what needs to be happen. Stopping all together was the only way I could stay safe. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Strabane
Posts: 32
Hi this sounds a bit like my problem. I like you can go weeks and months with out drink but the problem is it is like a lottery when I am at a social situation with alcohol. a few times it may be fine but the the next time I will drink until I black out. I too was ashamed but had to open up to my wife and tell her how I felt. One of the guys in here told me about AVRT. If you search on here or online you should find info. I am giving it ago as I don't want to have the dreaded drink anxiety and depression I have suffered lots of times down the years. Goodluck with what ever you go with.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 5
Hi christyham
Thanks for heads up about AVRT, I've been looking into it and using the approach to help me understand my 'AV'. It makes a-lot of sense and I think it's really going to help.
How have you been getting on with it?
I haven't drank since my last binge, but thoughts of drinking seems to be increasing, especially as its Christmas. Thinking just a couple of glasses of wine won't hurt with Christmas dinner!! I know this is absolute nonsense as I have no control as to where those 2 glasses will lead!
I'm anticipating all the questions as to why I'm not drinking from family and friends. I swear most of my friends seem to have a big problem with my decision not to drink. Suppose they don't see the problems its causing me emotionally.
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks and reach out again as feeling a little anxious!
Thanks for heads up about AVRT, I've been looking into it and using the approach to help me understand my 'AV'. It makes a-lot of sense and I think it's really going to help.
How have you been getting on with it?
I haven't drank since my last binge, but thoughts of drinking seems to be increasing, especially as its Christmas. Thinking just a couple of glasses of wine won't hurt with Christmas dinner!! I know this is absolute nonsense as I have no control as to where those 2 glasses will lead!
I'm anticipating all the questions as to why I'm not drinking from family and friends. I swear most of my friends seem to have a big problem with my decision not to drink. Suppose they don't see the problems its causing me emotionally.
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks and reach out again as feeling a little anxious!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Great news NJ that you haven't drank for nearly a month.
Thoughts are just that..... thoughts just make sure you don't act on them - you know your own mind and that binge drinking is causing you problems, it really doesn't matter what others think they are not the ones who have to deal with the fallout of another session, clearly like many of us once started there is no stopping and little memory of what happened either other than what you are told about after the event.
If these "friends" are questioning / have a problem with your decision I would be looking a bit deeper and asking myself are they true friends - do they have my interests at heart, do they really care or is it just their own selfish wants and needs that they want you to continue to make them feel better.
I can't stress enough that what other people think does not matter - it's what you think and how binge drinking is making you feel - clearly you don't want to continue down that path, be strong and stick to YOUR decision - your AV will give you plenty of reasons to pick up if you allow it to start re-iterating what others are telling you.
Stick with this place and keep posting just don't let anyone convince YOU that drinking to make them happy will be good for you.
Play the tape through when you start to have any of those thoughts that a couple might be a good idea to where you were at the end of November - I was the same 12 months ago in the run upto Christmas, the dust was just starting to settle and the odd thought that it might be ok - who was my AV trying to kid, I made a complete mess of things the last time I drank and on many many other occassions, i looked back to where i found myself after the last binge and thats enough to make me see sense immediately, I know that it would only continue getting worse if I ever thought it might be a good idea to start again - there's no going back to it - there can't be.
Have a good and sober christmas & new year - first one is always going to be testing - my second this time and those thoughts aren't even there this time.
Thoughts are just that..... thoughts just make sure you don't act on them - you know your own mind and that binge drinking is causing you problems, it really doesn't matter what others think they are not the ones who have to deal with the fallout of another session, clearly like many of us once started there is no stopping and little memory of what happened either other than what you are told about after the event.
If these "friends" are questioning / have a problem with your decision I would be looking a bit deeper and asking myself are they true friends - do they have my interests at heart, do they really care or is it just their own selfish wants and needs that they want you to continue to make them feel better.
I can't stress enough that what other people think does not matter - it's what you think and how binge drinking is making you feel - clearly you don't want to continue down that path, be strong and stick to YOUR decision - your AV will give you plenty of reasons to pick up if you allow it to start re-iterating what others are telling you.
Stick with this place and keep posting just don't let anyone convince YOU that drinking to make them happy will be good for you.
Play the tape through when you start to have any of those thoughts that a couple might be a good idea to where you were at the end of November - I was the same 12 months ago in the run upto Christmas, the dust was just starting to settle and the odd thought that it might be ok - who was my AV trying to kid, I made a complete mess of things the last time I drank and on many many other occassions, i looked back to where i found myself after the last binge and thats enough to make me see sense immediately, I know that it would only continue getting worse if I ever thought it might be a good idea to start again - there's no going back to it - there can't be.
Have a good and sober christmas & new year - first one is always going to be testing - my second this time and those thoughts aren't even there this time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hello,
It's great to hear from you again, and wonderful that you have not drank since your last post.
There are many threads on here right now with suggestions to help you get through the holidays, spend some time reading through, and maybe posting some of your own ideas.
If you are somewhere and the thought of drinking pops into your mind, log on and post here first!! There is always someone around to help talk you through it. I know that in the past I have romanticized wine, and often had a beautiful little picture in my head, one you might see in a commercial, or a magazine ad. The one thing that those things neglect to show is the person the next morning. Any time the thought of drinking pops into my head, and it rarely does anymore (but I am vigilant because I know it can anytime) I play the tape through and think how I will feel physically: nasuaseous, headache, exhaustion... mentally: I am back to day one, why did I say/text/call whoever it may be...
Play the tape through, and stick close to SR.
It's great to hear from you again, and wonderful that you have not drank since your last post.
There are many threads on here right now with suggestions to help you get through the holidays, spend some time reading through, and maybe posting some of your own ideas.
If you are somewhere and the thought of drinking pops into your mind, log on and post here first!! There is always someone around to help talk you through it. I know that in the past I have romanticized wine, and often had a beautiful little picture in my head, one you might see in a commercial, or a magazine ad. The one thing that those things neglect to show is the person the next morning. Any time the thought of drinking pops into my head, and it rarely does anymore (but I am vigilant because I know it can anytime) I play the tape through and think how I will feel physically: nasuaseous, headache, exhaustion... mentally: I am back to day one, why did I say/text/call whoever it may be...
Play the tape through, and stick close to SR.
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