whatcouldbe

Had a rough day and caved!

Dee74

Hi whatcouldbe - I think it's really important to try with all your might to come here first before you cave...that's what we're here for

It came as quite a realisation to me when I came to understand that I didn't have to drink to deal with a rough day or a bad feeling or whatever...

do you have any kind of a recovery plan beyond trying not to drink?

do give this a read:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Maybe that AA idea you mentioned last thread needs to be put into action?

D

whatcouldbe

I NEED a plan! Because i fail without one obviously...

Delilah1

Dee's link is a great one. The first few weeks I had to plan out every moment of the time I would have been drinking. I went for walks, to the gym, took. Y kids places, read, watched a few Netflix series, anything to occupy my time. I also read and posted on here daily, and I still do. I joined the January class, and I still check in there.

You should join the October, and when it starts the November class. It helps having others at the same point in recovery.

Check in tomorrow and let us know how you are doing, and what you are doing to stay sober.

Mags1

Hi whatcouldbe, yes a plan is a good, solid step in the right direction.
It's what keeps up sober!
Keep close and take heed of Dee's words to come here before you cave.

teaorcoffee

You're back. That's the first step

5upersonic

You can break the cycle, you really can. Lots of good advice on here that will help you. Today can be the start of something incredible.

whatcouldbe

I am mad this am which i knew i would be. I can make excuses but it doesnt change the fact it was my decision. I had a party literally smacking me in the face directly across the street. Couldnt avoid or not see it. I caves to the pressure and am not proud of myself. How i wish i can make it through the holidays from today forward....one can dream but i do envy you who did not drink last night. Trust me, the headache and sleepiness is not going to help my 10 hour workday ahead...

JK130

Good morning! Sometimes making an effort to change language helps with thinking and behaviors. Maybe try..."I can make it through the holidays". And, you really can. Use this as day 1, remember that you don''t feel well, and that partying with alcohol didn't move you towards any of your dreams. You can do this!

whatcouldbe

Ohh yeah! Added bonus.. i just got a pic on my social media of my husband on his business trip. Quite snuggly with a certain blonde at dinner...just got a worse headache...i know its probably nothing but social media sucks! Alot of questioning family today...

Oct142016

I agree that you should change the language. It may just be "I do not need to drink to enjoy the holidays."

Yes, there is a lot of parties - and I suspect a lot with alcohol. It is may not seem fair that "they can drink but I can't" - because oh, how I have been there. But look at it this way. Alcohol is POISON. It isn't like you can't have another cookie or piece of pie, you can't put poison in your body. Would you put a few drops of say, rat poisoning, in your coffee everyday?

aasharon90

I was always and still at times someone
who wants to do things my way or on my
own to ultimately fail as far as wanting
to control my drinking or addiction.

I had to learn that I was completely
powerless over my addiction and that
my life had become unmanageable.

Admitting I had a problem while in
rehab 26 yrs ago, then accepting a
program of recovery as a guideline
in life, I immediately became willing,
openmined to receive help I so
desperately needed at that time
in my life. In time I became completely
honest. The 3rd part of W. H. O.
but not all in that order.

W = willingness
H = Honesty
O= Openmindedness

I soon realized that I never had
to go thru anything in life alone
again or even figure things out
by myself, and that there will always
be someone who has been there,
done that same similar things as
I had and have done to help me
out before I ever make that mistakeable
decision to pick up a drink.

To me knowing I have a support
system in place to be there when
I get squirrely, when I was not
accepting of people, places and
things in life just as they are meant
to be.

Over the yrs, I have built a strong
recovery foundation to live my
life upon each day I have remained
sober. Each day I remind myself
that addiction is cunning, baffling
and powerful and that if I ever
let my guard down, step away from
my recovery support system then
I could end up drunk, crazy or dead.

Today I imbrace my sobriety and
recovery life to ensure I remain
sober one more day to live a healthy
happy honest life for many more
days sober down the road.

So can you.

MeSoSober

Sometimes I feel like it's important for me to come here (or do something else for my recovery) in the MORNING and get myself mindful and committed in anticipation of any urges that may come later. I think when I don't do that I'm going to be more at the mercy of what the day brings than I otherwise would be.

whatcouldbe, you may have caved but you're back here now and recognizing that you need to make some changes -- good for you!

sugarbear1

Is there anything you've learned about you and alcohol from this relapse or slip? It is not a fail if you've learned something.....

whatcouldbe

Thank you. I need to use tmrw to work on a plan. Honestly i wont even want to drink until next weekend so i know tmrw with a clear, well rested head i can work twds that. Day 0ne

Dee74

The sooner you get started the better that plan can be by next weekend

D

madgirl

Coming here for a bit first thing in the morning really helps me get my head straight for the day - part of my plan, I guess.

Language has tremendous power, too. My mantra of "today, no matter what happens, I will not drink" makes me feel like I am in charge, not circumstances. That same confidence is starting to bleed into other areas of my spirit and it is awesome.

I know you are hurting today, and regret your decision. Big hugs.

Nonsensical

Fixed the title of your post.

Nobody posting on this forum is failing. We're either succeeding, learning, or both.

Those who fail have given up, wander off, and are never heard from again. Being here automatically puts you in the not-a-failure category.

I believe feeling like you failed is a trick of the AV. My AV had so much more control over me when I thought I was a failure and a loser.

You made a mistake. Learn from it and press forward. You got this!

Yogini1603

I've drank again after swearing I would stop countless times. You haven't failed as you've clearly learned something from it (i.e. you know you need to make a recovery plan!)

I agree with Delilah1, I have to plan out my days so fully. As an example:
Wake up, eat breakfast and listen to a sobriety podcast & do a 10 minute meditation before going to work.
EAT during the day! Being hungry is a massive trigger for me so I eat a further meal just before I finish work so that by the time I leave, I'm still full. I also eat some sweets on the way home as that helps get me past though awful off licenses on the way back.
I usually then go to an AA meeting which occupies me for about an hour and a half.
Cook a fresh dinner (again, takes longer than zapping something nasty in the microwave)
Hang out with the husband.
Do it all over again!

JimSock

Hello WCB, I said the exact same thing last week. Others suggested AVRT (Google it!), check out the "Crash Course ". This was very helpful for me, I wasn't feeling the AA concept.