bronzie

Today was rough. I was doing pretty good staying sober, but I drank today and now I can't sleep and I feel anxious and depressed.
Whyyyy do I keep doing this?
I'm ready for a sober Friday and weekend and rest of my life!!!
I want the cravings and urges to go away.
My mood has been low, I am worried and lonely.
Just went thru a breakup, and although I know the person wasn't right for me, I still miss him and it's starting to affect me more. After a couple weeks, the realization sets in, and I'm on my own again.
I'm so lucky to have my family, although I have been fighting with my mom, and I just feel crappy about the whole thing. I need to get thru this entire weekend sober!
I will not drink tomorrow.

Dee74

Welcome back Bronzie

I found I really needed learn to reach out. It's pretty much the fundamental tool really.

If you have a bad day you can definitely reach out here instead of drinking

Maybe join a monthly group and post everyday again for a while?

D

FreedomCA

I hope you can get back on track quickly. When I relapsed in the past and drank thereafter, I found that each subsequent day that I drank made getting back to sobriety much harder because the addiction gets strengthened. I guess this is why it was easier to get back to sobriety after only having a one day slip because the addictive monster was still pretty weak, thus allowing me to get back a Day 1 fairly easily.

FreeOwl

Try this: choose to BE SOBER instead of 'not drinking'

It helped me a lot when I stopped saying things like ' I Have to NOT drink' and instead said things like 'I WANT to be sober and have a rich, full life'.

Small difference, but it made all the difference.

RDBplus3

I drank for 40 years, then struggled real hard, face in the asphalt struggling, for a long time. I remember going to meetings, and when they asked if anyone had 30 days Sober, I would think to myself ... I got 30 days, but just not in a row.

I remember sharing in a meeting one time, "I feel like I have driven a stake in the ground called 'Sobriety', and I have chained myself like a dog to that stake". I struggled real hard for a long time ... then when it got so bad inside, I couldn't take it any more ... I gave up completely and agreed to actually WORK the 12 Steps of AA. Somewhere in the midst of Steps 4 and 5, the MIRACLE happened and the obsession to drink was lifted. That FREEDOM gave me the ability to continue to Work the 12 Steps, and not only clear away the wreckage, but I became FREE from the churning of my Self-Will-Run-Riot internal insanity.

I am now 3 years Sober ...
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW anyone can B 2

Truthbetold76

Welcome back. I'm back as well after a long hiatus of on and off drinking. (Jupiter1976) - well hit a new bottom last week when I lost both my job (a really good one) and my boyfriend (the love of my life and highschool sweetie), almost got kicked out of my house and fell down the stairs, ended up in ER where they ran like 3 different tests on me. Spent the last 5 days, literally in my dark room, in bed, awake with horrible pain and anxiety.
Today is the first day I am actually going to get dressed, put some make up on and leave my house to get some crap done. Re joining society. Anxiety is high, but I know once I am out...I will feel much better.

We've all been there Hang in!!! and happy SOBER Friday

Upstairs

I hope ya feel better soon!

RDBplus3

That guy Will Power always let me down. Talked a good game, but in the crunch it seemed to turn to B/S.

Now Will lines up under a 'Higher Power' that was always inside, but that I had kept locked up in a sound-proof closet, and that jackass Will Power would just say something stupid or obnoxious and point in another direction anytime I thought I might have heard that 'still small voice' within.

Yogini1603

It's horrid to feel the way you do right now, but you won't feel this way forever. You've decided not to drink at this moment, and that's enough. Take it hour by hour, minute by minute if you need to. All we have is right now and that's okay.

Have you got a plan to stay sober? It sounds like you've gone through a lot recently and having a plan especially during the very hard periods can make it easier rather than automatically resorting to drinking.

january161992

hi bronzie

11/4/16 is a great sobriety date

im sober today because of my involvement in aa

God bless

bronzie

Congrats on 3 years! that's awesome!

bronzie

Thank you! So sorry you are going thru it too. I was laid off from my job over the summer, and my ex bf won't even talk to me, probably better off without him anyway! So I totally understand where you are coming from. Take care of yourself, and stay sober! Happy sober Friday to you as well!

bronzie

Thank you Dee. I will definitely reach out if I am feeling down. Everyone is so supportive here!

bronzie

Thank you. I am feeling a little better today.

bronzie

Thank you, and I am working on my plan today. I am sober and feeling better right now.

bronzie

Yes it is. Thank you!

jryan19982

I found that when I got low and down I occupied myself with things that I liked doing. What do you enjoy doing? For me, what occupied my time, was fixing motorcycles. And guess what? I found out I was a lot better at it when I wasnt drinking!

I also got more into cooking, which I already like doing before I was sober. Its just that when I started to cook I was drinking at the same time. So really I made easier meals because when I was drinking I would always mess up the harder meals.

Some other things could be reading, exercising, doing a puzzle, learning how to do something you always wanted to do (Those books "for Dummies" are actually pretty good and cheap), maybe taking a class...

I found I was better off when I was active and busy instead of being lazy or just watching tv or something. Dont get me wrong I like TV, but I also started to watch more interesting involved shows like DIY things and the cooking channel and Discovery... things that make you think instead of being a zombie.

But most importantly, you need to believe in yourself. Heck I failed many times. It's how you learn from them and put it into action that defines you in these quits.

bronzie

That is good advice! Thank you. I slipped, but I'm not going to fall off completely. That one day (yesterday) is over and now I am back at day one. I just have to accept that and move on.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, bronzie. You can absolutely find sustained and lasting sobriety and recovery.

Maybe try to find the goodness in every sober moment; it really helped me.

MidnightRider

Yep...... Just like riding a bike or something like that.
Anyways.. I am so glad you are here and taking care of yourself.