Left rehab one year ago
now's the time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Left rehab one year ago
I just realized that for the first time I forgot my monthly sobriety mark. I'm 13 months as of a few days ago. In a couple of days I'll pass the anniversary of the day I left rehab with 34 days sober.
I wanted to write something when I hit a year, but never really sat down to it. So I'll try a few reflections now.
In some ways life right now is like the most idealized version of sobriety that I ever could have imagined. Most of the time I feel just like myself, and this feels just like my life, except with the alcohol magically erased from every scene.
I lost my job 14 months ago, because of alcohol. After getting sober I started freelancing, plus took a minimum wage part time job, and worked 70+ hour weeks until I finally found a good job three months ago. It involved moving to a new city, so I did that, for the second time since getting sober. Here I've been meeting lots of people and getting really active socially. It's slightly awkward sometimes when I first tell people that I don't drink, but it hasn't limited me at all. I focus on things like hiking, biking, yoga, kayaking, community-focused events, lectures, readings, museum events... there are so many things going on where alcohol isn't the focus.
Some things are still coming back together, or forming for the first time. It took me several months to start enjoying music again for the first time in years. It's only in the last couple weeks that I've realized how important it is to sleep a full eight hours, because just now am I finally able to after a lifetime of insomnia and then alcohol and then brain recovery. I need a lot more alone time than I'm used to—otherwise people get under my skin and I have to manage my crankiness. My metabolism still seems to be pretty messed up and I'm still working on the right balance of exercise and snacks throughout the day to keep my energy levels from spiking and crashing. My inner voice can still turn negative and start tearing into me, but I'm better at tuning it out or reframing it now. I'm trying my best to become organized, punctual, and dependable. That's a tall order for me but I'm doing well with it.
The biggest thing I have to note is that I have a renewed sense of purpose in life. Somehow during the last few months I set concrete goals for myself. I now have a five year plan! And it's pretty thorough! I know what I want out of my career, my creative life, and my family life. I know exactly what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. That hasn't been true in a very long time.
Sober life is complicated and beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I notice things I never did, or maybe just haven't in a while. I am so grateful for the freedom of this new way of living.
I wanted to write something when I hit a year, but never really sat down to it. So I'll try a few reflections now.
In some ways life right now is like the most idealized version of sobriety that I ever could have imagined. Most of the time I feel just like myself, and this feels just like my life, except with the alcohol magically erased from every scene.
I lost my job 14 months ago, because of alcohol. After getting sober I started freelancing, plus took a minimum wage part time job, and worked 70+ hour weeks until I finally found a good job three months ago. It involved moving to a new city, so I did that, for the second time since getting sober. Here I've been meeting lots of people and getting really active socially. It's slightly awkward sometimes when I first tell people that I don't drink, but it hasn't limited me at all. I focus on things like hiking, biking, yoga, kayaking, community-focused events, lectures, readings, museum events... there are so many things going on where alcohol isn't the focus.
Some things are still coming back together, or forming for the first time. It took me several months to start enjoying music again for the first time in years. It's only in the last couple weeks that I've realized how important it is to sleep a full eight hours, because just now am I finally able to after a lifetime of insomnia and then alcohol and then brain recovery. I need a lot more alone time than I'm used to—otherwise people get under my skin and I have to manage my crankiness. My metabolism still seems to be pretty messed up and I'm still working on the right balance of exercise and snacks throughout the day to keep my energy levels from spiking and crashing. My inner voice can still turn negative and start tearing into me, but I'm better at tuning it out or reframing it now. I'm trying my best to become organized, punctual, and dependable. That's a tall order for me but I'm doing well with it.
The biggest thing I have to note is that I have a renewed sense of purpose in life. Somehow during the last few months I set concrete goals for myself. I now have a five year plan! And it's pretty thorough! I know what I want out of my career, my creative life, and my family life. I know exactly what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. That hasn't been true in a very long time.
Sober life is complicated and beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I notice things I never did, or maybe just haven't in a while. I am so grateful for the freedom of this new way of living.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
That's great fantail, congrats- you have worked hard and persevered and through difficulties you abstained, I am glad it is all coming to fruition for you. Admirably you imparted encouragement and thoughtful words here through all of your sober endeavors, you truly have much to be proud of. And thank you for sharing your experiences regarding sleep... Some of us are still really struggling there!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Thanks for that, Fantail. Very similar to how I feel after a year and a half or so sober. Congratulations on making it a year, and for discovering how wonderful sobriety can really be.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Fantail, this is a fantastic post and I am so glad to hear you're doing so well. It's good that you are being patient with yourself, knowing that there may still be some healing going on. Making a 5 year plan sounds like a great idea to keep you focused and on target. So happy for you!
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