BoyRacer

I first logged on here in 2008. I'm the same stupid piece of crud I was then, just with more rugged miles and 20 extra pounds. I hate it so much, and I'm so lonely and afraid with all this! I'm afraid I'll lose my beautiful son, my wife, everything. I'm just hurting so bad, this demon has shown its real face and it just wants me tortured, then dead. I'm feeling real low here. That's all.

Berrybean

Glad you made it back.

Well. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Sounds like the acceptance is there, but is the willingness? What are you willing to change in order to get sober and start recovering?

Wishing you all the best for your recovery.

doggonecarl

Self loathing won't get you sober. But a commitment to change and do whatever it takes to recovery, will.

Soberwolf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Opivotal

Glad you made it back, BoyRacer!

Until I quit drinking for good, I was a miserable human being. Everything looked bleak and my life was in shambles.

The great news is your life can improve immensely by getting and staying sober.

BoyRacer

I'm trying to be the best man I can but these really is like as egret war like the song says...

I am willing. Jeepers creepers, can't someone just hear me out? I'm really hurting here. I'm just very alone and VERY afraid. This has taken the best parts of me and made them a mockery!

least

Welcome back! You can get sober, when you want to be sober more than you want to drink. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Anna

We do hear you and I'm sure that all of us know how you feel right now. It's miserable, but the way to deal with it is to take action. Do something right now, today, to help you stop drinking. Do you have alcohol in the house? If so, get rid of it and don't buy anymore. Read the link that SoberWolf posted and make a plan for how you will do this. You don't have to feel this way any longer.

ScottFromWI

We do hear you BoyRacer, most of us were exactly where you are at some point in our lives. We also know that it requires motivation and hard work to make the change to living sober....we can't sugar coat that part of it. The good news is that you can make the change if you really want to - have you ever tried things like meetings or counciling? How about joining the class of July here? There's lots of ways to get started.

firstymer

Two things:

1. There is only one good thing about being an alcoholic. That good thing is that ANY DAY can be the day that YOU DECIDE, once and for all, to be done with alcohol. YOU get to pick that day, just like all of the rest of us did. And, if you want - if you REALLY WANT - then today can be that day. No other disease or affliction, other than drug or alcohol addiction, allows us to choose the day on which we recover. So, if you want to make today the day, then decide what plan you need to implement and follow in order to achieve that goal. And if that plan requires inpatient treatment, do it. Just. Do. It.

2. You still have a beautiful son and a wife? That puts you way ahead of where most of us were when we finally decided to quit drinking. You are fortunate not to have lost everything. That would seem to make today a very good day to begin your new, sober life.

That's all I have. The rest is up to you.

You can DO this, BoyRacer.

Darwinia

No pain no gain. We all feel the pain, and we all get the gain. Every second of your battle now will get you closer to that reward. Sobriety, stability, a real life. Keep going even if it is through hell. Its worth it and you know it too, thats why you are here.

Leezer

I too logged in as you see in 2008. And here I am too. But this time, I have decided to get SOBER instead of just not drink. Sounds like you are at a similar place. But as least said, you must want to be sober more than you want to drink, and as Carl said, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes, which, if you are ready, may not be as daunting as it seems. Stay here and stay close. I am approaching 20 weeks sober and my life has totally changed. There was a reason we logged in in 2008. And there's a reason we logged in today, in 2016.

fred59

it is normal to feel horrible when you are drinking and you know you are addicted,make a decision to stop get a plan and get into action, recovery is not easy but it is worth it.
Welcome back you are worth being sober

Berrybean

No need to be alone. There are millions of alcoholics in recovery all our the world. We're all here for you (minus sugar coating perhaps, but that's because we all know that sugar coating really doesn't help anything.) Plus, there will be rooms full of people ready and waiting to welcome you with open arms and share their recovery, strength and hope with you not too far from where you're sitting now.

Yes. It is scary. We are a fear driven bunch us Alcoholics. But fear doesn't need to push us back. We can learn to lean gently into the fear and do it anyway.

Are you sober today?

Hevyn

We read you loud & clear, BoyRacer. Most have been right where you are - I know I have. Talking things over here really helps with the anxiety. You are never alone with your struggle. It sounds like you're ready to get free. We know you can.