If You Knew Then What You Know Now..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Well let's see, I watched my father drink himself silly my whole life. And my older brother got me drunk when I was 8 yrs old. So yeah, probably because I had no idea what was really happening. When I first got sober at 38? One could argue I shouldn't have relapsed...well duh.
Bottom line, I wouldn't know what I know now if I hadn't been through the exact journey I have. I'm right where I'm supposed to be I suppose.
Bottom line, I wouldn't know what I know now if I hadn't been through the exact journey I have. I'm right where I'm supposed to be I suppose.
You can't separate knowledge from experience and feeling though.
I'm sure everyone knows that a snack just out of the microwave is super hot, right? How do you know though? Did you read and heed the warning on the package? Nah, we all burned out mouths a few times.
You can't dwell on the past because how could we really understand?
I'm sure everyone knows that a snack just out of the microwave is super hot, right? How do you know though? Did you read and heed the warning on the package? Nah, we all burned out mouths a few times.
You can't dwell on the past because how could we really understand?
If I had known what my life was going to become, of course I wouldn't have taken that first drink. Who would? But what's done is done. Now all I can do is use what I've learned to keep myself from ever doing it again. When I first started drinking, I didn't have the benefit of foresight to see how much damage it would do to my life. Now I have the benefit of HINDsight and know enough to know that I will never take that first drink ever again!
I have heard people in AA say they wouldn't change a thing since the journey brought then close to God and others and their life is full of meaning.
Personally, I am in the middle of the sad mess I created and am quite full of regrets.
Lilly
Personally, I am in the middle of the sad mess I created and am quite full of regrets.
Lilly
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 483
No. I wouldnt have taken that first drink. And I wouldn't take one now. I did way too much stuff I will never forgive myself for and really lost allot choosing to drink like I did. I came out of it I believe a little wiser and mentally stronget but would do anything for a do over on ever doing down the path that I did.
I doubt it. I was never a great one for listening to anything or anyone that was telling me to something that didn't fit my own agenda, even to my own common sense when push came to shove.
I made my inventories and make my amends, and work hard on my recovery today. That takes all my attention. For me, to spend time in wishful thinking, crying for the moon about stuff I can't change, means taking my eye off of what I can and should be doing right now, today, to sustain my sobriety and recovery. It also is path straight to self-pity of me, which is certainly a dubious luxury for me.
I made my inventories and make my amends, and work hard on my recovery today. That takes all my attention. For me, to spend time in wishful thinking, crying for the moon about stuff I can't change, means taking my eye off of what I can and should be doing right now, today, to sustain my sobriety and recovery. It also is path straight to self-pity of me, which is certainly a dubious luxury for me.
That's impossible to say because I was so young when I started drinking. I grew up in an abusive, alcoholic, dysfunctional home. I don't think I could've truly understood that insight at that time.
I think I probably knew.... and did it anyway.
It probably wasn't as much about what I knew or didn't know - as much as it was how I felt, how I was wired.
Maybe I needed to go through it all to become who I am today.
In any case it's nothing I can change. So knowing what I now know, I know now what I'll do and who I'll be today.
It probably wasn't as much about what I knew or didn't know - as much as it was how I felt, how I was wired.
Maybe I needed to go through it all to become who I am today.
In any case it's nothing I can change. So knowing what I now know, I know now what I'll do and who I'll be today.
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