Day nine and I can see myself going either way.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Hope and fear are normal emotions that we all have. How we react to them is what defines us. What allowed me to succeed was initially accepting my addiction and then reinforcing it through my time on SR, my therapy and my daily work to remember why I don't drink anymore.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
When I think of forever it scares my AV to death and creates unwanted battles with my psyche. I trick my AV into short term goals.
At first I said 1 month, then 6 months, now 1 year.
Id rather battle my AV on the achievement than on a daily basis.
Im 6 months in now and what I have gained is strength and confidence this can be done.
The most amazing thing is that some days i can go the entire day and not even think about a drink. This would have been unthinkable 6 months ago. I imagine it will be even easier at 1 year.
At first I said 1 month, then 6 months, now 1 year.
Id rather battle my AV on the achievement than on a daily basis.
Im 6 months in now and what I have gained is strength and confidence this can be done.
The most amazing thing is that some days i can go the entire day and not even think about a drink. This would have been unthinkable 6 months ago. I imagine it will be even easier at 1 year.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 242
Simple for me.
I have come to terms that I am done drinking.
If the thought crosses my mind.
I remind myself.
That a drink will make me feel fine for a few minutes. But I know I wont be satisfied with 1 drink! It will turn into a 100!
I have come to terms that I am done drinking.
If the thought crosses my mind.
I remind myself.
That a drink will make me feel fine for a few minutes. But I know I wont be satisfied with 1 drink! It will turn into a 100!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
As long as we ascribe any benefit to drinking -- including a conviction that staying sober is too difficult -- it will be extremely difficult to achieve long-term sobriety. And I do mean "any."
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Oak Creek, WI
Posts: 517
I guess we all go thru that no matter what day it is for us. One thing that really has kept me from slipping is remembering how crappy I felt after drinking. Since I quit 14 days ago, I have felt so much better and sleep is so good!
There are days when I just think "one is ok", but lets face it, I know myself better, one is going to lead to the whole bottle. And then I move on to something else, or come hear to read and post. Sometimes just read.
I am lucky though-- my retired neighbor is a volunteer drug/alcohol counselor for the VA in Milwaukee, and he helps me to keep it in check......
There are days when I just think "one is ok", but lets face it, I know myself better, one is going to lead to the whole bottle. And then I move on to something else, or come hear to read and post. Sometimes just read.
I am lucky though-- my retired neighbor is a volunteer drug/alcohol counselor for the VA in Milwaukee, and he helps me to keep it in check......
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I do not allow my mind to even ponder alcohol as an option. I keep my thinking from going down the rabbit hole. I surrender to today, life as it is, and do something good and right.
You can do this if you really want it.
You can do this if you really want it.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Since you see yourself "going either way," I'm wondering how you see yourself were you to resume drinking.
When we look at life through the lens of fear, our perceptions and our very existence become increasingly narrow over time. When fear becomes too much to bear, we either make dramatic and generally uncomfortable changes or we just stop caring. I know this because I've been there.
And changing anything and everything on the fly doesn't mean that we're exceptionally open-minded or in the process of healing; it only demonstrates the fear of changing, with the expectation that by changing everything I will overcome my original fears. In my business, this process is referred to as "counterphobia."
When we look at life through the lens of fear, our perceptions and our very existence become increasingly narrow over time. When fear becomes too much to bear, we either make dramatic and generally uncomfortable changes or we just stop caring. I know this because I've been there.
And changing anything and everything on the fly doesn't mean that we're exceptionally open-minded or in the process of healing; it only demonstrates the fear of changing, with the expectation that by changing everything I will overcome my original fears. In my business, this process is referred to as "counterphobia."
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
In the beginning I knew things could not continue likethey were and that meant alcohol had to go. I got professional treatment and became active in AA. Drastic times call for drastic measures
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by TheGman 
What caused you to succeed, or fail, with you're drinking goal?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 37
One thing I learned about this addiction and recovery is it's not day to day. Rather it's minute to minute. You could totally be convinced you won't drink again and shortly thereafter, you take that shot or open that bottle. I relapsed that way on Super Bowl Sunday. The relapse lasted every day through April 30th. For past 25 days, I have been challenged. I found meetings help on so many fronts. It's virtual medicine and you become close to people who you don't want to let down.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
It's a daily decision for me at this point. "Today, I will not have a drink". I'll be at 70 days on Friday, so still early on in the game.
Early on in youth with drinking, obviously there were some good times and pleasure to be found in it, but since this "habit" is progressive, meaning we can't GO BACK to when we were 20 or whenever it was we started, then it's pointless to try. I knew I didn't want to keep living how I'd been living - that I wanted fundamental change.
That's what empowers me to say every day "I will not drink" and truth be told, it isn't that hard.
Early on in youth with drinking, obviously there were some good times and pleasure to be found in it, but since this "habit" is progressive, meaning we can't GO BACK to when we were 20 or whenever it was we started, then it's pointless to try. I knew I didn't want to keep living how I'd been living - that I wanted fundamental change.
That's what empowers me to say every day "I will not drink" and truth be told, it isn't that hard.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by madgirl
It's a daily decision for me at this point. "Today, I will not have a drink". I'll be at 70 days on Friday, so still early on in the game.
Early on in youth with drinking, obviously there were some good times and pleasure to be found in it, but since this "habit" is progressive, meaning we can't GO BACK to when we were 20 or whenever it was we started, then it's pointless to try. I knew I didn't want to keep living how I'd been living - that I wanted fundamental change.
That's what empowers me to say every day "I will not drink" and truth be told, it isn't that hard.
Early on in youth with drinking, obviously there were some good times and pleasure to be found in it, but since this "habit" is progressive, meaning we can't GO BACK to when we were 20 or whenever it was we started, then it's pointless to try. I knew I didn't want to keep living how I'd been living - that I wanted fundamental change.
That's what empowers me to say every day "I will not drink" and truth be told, it isn't that hard.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
For me, I had to resign myself to the fact that I had to quit and could never drink again, and remove even the possibility from my mind. Gone, off the table, I'm DONE. It was NOT easy to come to that conclusion, or to stick by it in the early days when I desperately wanted a drink. But it IS doable, and after 20 months I am so greatful and happy that I made that decision. For many, it's one day at a time, and I totally get that. It's a tried and true method. But I had to go with the "never again" mindset. I say go with whichever school of thought keeps you sober.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
I can see valid points to either approach, honestly, and it is a bit of a mind game. Here's the thing - if you had told me in the first week that my best chance at recovery is to say NEVER AGAIN, I am FOREVER done with drinking - I'd probably have said nope, can't do it, can't promise forever - therefore, I can't do it, may as well just keep drinking.
For some reason, "today I will not drink" has been working so far. I may end up tweaking this but I don't think it's a bad strategy for the first 30 days or so - ?
For some reason, "today I will not drink" has been working so far. I may end up tweaking this but I don't think it's a bad strategy for the first 30 days or so - ?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
Originally Posted by FormerWineGirl
For me, I had to resign myself to the fact that I had to quit and could never drink again, and remove even the possibility from my mind. Gone, off the table, I'm DONE. It was NOT easy to come to that conclusion, or to stick by it in the early days when I desperately wanted a drink. But it IS doable, and after 20 months I am so greatful and happy that I made that decision. For many, it's one day at a time, and I totally get that. It's a tried and true method. But I had to go with the "never again" mindset. I say go with whichever school of thought keeps you sober.
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