Drank last night - feel like crap
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Drank last night - feel like crap
Yep...
My husband offered me a drink last night and I accepted it. We were home alone, daughter already in bed.
I had a very strong one and then a second one. I got sick and passed out.
Feel like crap this morning...
Not much else to say... I feel so stupid nand angry. It's not his fault, it's mine.
My husband offered me a drink last night and I accepted it. We were home alone, daughter already in bed.
I had a very strong one and then a second one. I got sick and passed out.
Feel like crap this morning...
Not much else to say... I feel so stupid nand angry. It's not his fault, it's mine.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
you're not stupid.
anger won't help.
anger is the Dark Side.
So is shame and self-berating.
You did it, it's done, you cannot change that.
You only have TODAY.
Will you choose sobriety today?
What will you do, to support that choice TODAY?
anger won't help.
anger is the Dark Side.
So is shame and self-berating.
You did it, it's done, you cannot change that.
You only have TODAY.
Will you choose sobriety today?
What will you do, to support that choice TODAY?
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Nowsthetime 
It's not his fault, it's mine.
Yet he made you a bartender at a recent social occasion, and is offering you a drink? He's either undermining your sobriety, or you haven't be entirely clear and emphatic about your decision to drink.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Yes, you took the drink. But your husband has a part in this. He knows you are trying to drink? You've talked about his supporting that decision? Yet he made you a bartender at a recent social occasion, and is offering you a drink? He's either undermining your sobriety, or you haven't be entirely clear and emphatic about your decision to drink.
This.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
What's done is done. No sense beating yourself up about this. What's more important is learning from your mistake and making sure that doesn't happen again.
Although ultimately it was your decision to drink, I think your husband needs to understand your goals more clearly. Although my wife still drank when I was quitting and we had alcohol in the house, she never asked me if I wanted to drink with her. But, I had to lay out my goals to her very clearly and firmly. Quitting drinking is tough on its own, tougher if you have access to alcohol still in the house and even tougher if your spouse prompts you to drink with him.
Great job on coming right back here Nows. Start fresh today!
Although ultimately it was your decision to drink, I think your husband needs to understand your goals more clearly. Although my wife still drank when I was quitting and we had alcohol in the house, she never asked me if I wanted to drink with her. But, I had to lay out my goals to her very clearly and firmly. Quitting drinking is tough on its own, tougher if you have access to alcohol still in the house and even tougher if your spouse prompts you to drink with him.
Great job on coming right back here Nows. Start fresh today!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Correcting my post. Twice I used the word "drink" when I meant "quit drinking." Hopefully you got the gist of it.
Your husband has to be absolutely clear on your decision. And you must enforce it. Good luck.
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Yes, you took the drink. But your husband has a part in this. He knows you are trying to QUIT? You've talked about his supporting that decision?
Yet he made you a bartender at a recent social occasion, and is offering you a drink? He's either undermining your sobriety, or you haven't beeen entirely clear and emphatic about your decision to QUIT.
Yet he made you a bartender at a recent social occasion, and is offering you a drink? He's either undermining your sobriety, or you haven't beeen entirely clear and emphatic about your decision to QUIT.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Glad you're back, there's no guarantees we get another chance. No one makes us drink - it's ultimately our decision, but it appears your drinking partner isn't ready to have you sober for whatever reason based on your last couple of threads.
That's got to be difficult, certainly. Have you considered any professional outside couples counselling? Maybe that would help - my wife and I did some sessions and reached some new levels of understanding about each other. That after 30 + years of marriage.........
That's got to be difficult, certainly. Have you considered any professional outside couples counselling? Maybe that would help - my wife and I did some sessions and reached some new levels of understanding about each other. That after 30 + years of marriage.........
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
What makes many of us strong in our own
recovery and sobriety is to learn all that we
can about addiction. Addiction to alcohol
or drugs. To learn how it affects our own
bodies and minds and those around us.
Then we become willing to learn, yes, learn
an effective program of recovery that we can
use as a guideline and stepping stone in
living life alcohol or drug free one day at a
time.
Once be learn the basics of recovery and
begin to incorporate what was taught to
us, then, we become responsible for our
own recovery and sobriety.
Meaning, our sobriety becomes extremely
important to us, because if we don't have
that then we have nothing else at all. We
become protective of it and refuse to allow
or let anyone or anything mess with it or
interfere with it.
That includes, family, friends, workers, employees,
and so on. No matter who, what, where, how, will
never touch my recovery and sobriety because
it belongs to us. And that makes us very protective
of it.
I, like so many, own our recovery and sobriety
and is something we will do whatever it takes to
keep it top priority in our lives for yrs. to come.
recovery and sobriety is to learn all that we
can about addiction. Addiction to alcohol
or drugs. To learn how it affects our own
bodies and minds and those around us.
Then we become willing to learn, yes, learn
an effective program of recovery that we can
use as a guideline and stepping stone in
living life alcohol or drug free one day at a
time.
Once be learn the basics of recovery and
begin to incorporate what was taught to
us, then, we become responsible for our
own recovery and sobriety.
Meaning, our sobriety becomes extremely
important to us, because if we don't have
that then we have nothing else at all. We
become protective of it and refuse to allow
or let anyone or anything mess with it or
interfere with it.
That includes, family, friends, workers, employees,
and so on. No matter who, what, where, how, will
never touch my recovery and sobriety because
it belongs to us. And that makes us very protective
of it.
I, like so many, own our recovery and sobriety
and is something we will do whatever it takes to
keep it top priority in our lives for yrs. to come.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hello all :
First of all thank you very much to everybody who took the time to respond to my post. I have been dying to answer but I really haven't had the time to do it right so I have waited.
I know that this is all about me but it's still really frustrating to have him not support me the way that I think he should. But all those are expectations, again I need to let those go. It's easy for me to stop but it is very hard to stay stopped. It's really interesting because I went over a year but then that second year I have drank a few times. This last one was disgraceful. I even threw up and I never threw up at night, always the next day. It's almost like I wanted to do it to get at him. I answered with a yes so easily , just rolled off my tongue. Like, I will show him.
I am so angry but trying to renember what FO said, it is the Darkside. My AV had been waiting and took those emotions and manipulated me so easily it's pretty sad. I guess this last time has to be my other low that prompts me for the rest of my life of sobriety but you guys are right it is going to be so hard without the support of my husband who is sad about losing his drinking buddy.
DGC: he DOES know that I want to quit forever and has expressed that he is happy about it in the past but then when it comes to real life he makes me feel like he wants me to drink. I guess he wants me to drink like a normie. He told me "why don't you just have one or two and quit like a mature person..."
I am going to recommit with the same fervor that I had when I began this journey. I felt like crap on Monday. I drank at him and with a vengeance, I don't even remember after a certain point... It's ridiculous... But it's in the past now.
I'm going to remember what aasharon said about protecting your sobriety. I'm going to a lot!
I don't know if I need to talk to my husband about this right now. I am too angry to have a rational conversation about it with him. I also know how it's going to go. He's going to say that he is sorry and that he will support me but then in a few months it'll change...
I'm finally (3 days after) feeling normal again. Thanks for listening.
The saga continues...
First of all thank you very much to everybody who took the time to respond to my post. I have been dying to answer but I really haven't had the time to do it right so I have waited.
I know that this is all about me but it's still really frustrating to have him not support me the way that I think he should. But all those are expectations, again I need to let those go. It's easy for me to stop but it is very hard to stay stopped. It's really interesting because I went over a year but then that second year I have drank a few times. This last one was disgraceful. I even threw up and I never threw up at night, always the next day. It's almost like I wanted to do it to get at him. I answered with a yes so easily , just rolled off my tongue. Like, I will show him.
I am so angry but trying to renember what FO said, it is the Darkside. My AV had been waiting and took those emotions and manipulated me so easily it's pretty sad. I guess this last time has to be my other low that prompts me for the rest of my life of sobriety but you guys are right it is going to be so hard without the support of my husband who is sad about losing his drinking buddy.
DGC: he DOES know that I want to quit forever and has expressed that he is happy about it in the past but then when it comes to real life he makes me feel like he wants me to drink. I guess he wants me to drink like a normie. He told me "why don't you just have one or two and quit like a mature person..."
I am going to recommit with the same fervor that I had when I began this journey. I felt like crap on Monday. I drank at him and with a vengeance, I don't even remember after a certain point... It's ridiculous... But it's in the past now.
I'm going to remember what aasharon said about protecting your sobriety. I'm going to a lot!
I don't know if I need to talk to my husband about this right now. I am too angry to have a rational conversation about it with him. I also know how it's going to go. He's going to say that he is sorry and that he will support me but then in a few months it'll change...
I'm finally (3 days after) feeling normal again. Thanks for listening.
The saga continues...
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