CAPTAINZING2000

If I ever see a post from someone how great they feel after getting drunk the night before, I'll be tempted.
So far, that's not happened on here!!!

Thanks for the reminder

Nowsthetime

Arghh yes!!! Felt TERRIBLE and not back to normal for a couple days. It's not like I forget, it's so weird. Everything went out the window. Even the fact that I had to work Monday. I almost threw up at work I felt so crappy and then I ate nasty fast food ( which I seldom do).

So stupid...

Dee74

what's your plan now nowisthetime?

D

thomas11

How are you today nowsthetime?

bandicoot2

Dear Nowsthetime,

First of all -- Congrats on your 3 days!! Please stay with it--you are so worth your Sobriety.

You already know this - As alcoholics we can never drink again. Ever!

I feel for you. We host many social events at our home and have a wine cellar. So when I sat down and had a deep talk with my DH, I also laid down some rules.

1. Do not ask me to join you for a lovely glass of wine.
2. I will never again serve as the 'bartender' Do it yourself or hire someone.
3. When you arrive home after stocking up on wine & liquor, you are responsible for stocking the small bar for a party or storing in the wine cellar.
4. When we attend events outside of the home that involve large amounts of alcohol, we drive separate cars and I leave when I know it's time.
5. When we dine out, I get to choose whenever possible a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol. Not easy to find but doable.

Has it been easy? No. But he has been very supportive of my decision and subsequent journey and I'm thankful for that. DH continues to enjoy his wine and other liquors and yes, he lost his drinking buddy.

I hope you have a heart to heart with your DH and that he will one day 100% support you. But if he doesn't please remember,

This is,

Your Life
Your Health
Your Brain
Your Sanity
Your Future
Your Child's Future

Thinking of you, please take care

Nowsthetime

Hello all: I'm great today! Finally feeling back to normal. I am at work right now and it's quite a difference from last Monday when I felt like hell.

Thanks Bandicoot for your answer. You have laid out what I have to talk to him about. I did have a conversation but I don't think it was serious enough, I'm going to have to repeat it.

My plan is to have this serious conversation with my husband, recommit, continue to participate here and to use all the tools I have learned.

He still asked me to pour him one this weekend, I didn't...

Feeling really good today and really happy to have recommitted!!!

ICanDoBetter

I was having some of the same frustrations at first with my husband, who attempted to hand me his beer for a swig on day five because I was being so grouchy. He and I have had several good talks since. Quite frankly I needed to own my part in him not knowing how to support me - j hadn't told him what I need .... And also what j learned is that he doesn't know how me quitting effects he navigates the water as someone who is perfectly able to moderate. I realized he is anticipating also how this effects him and how much easier it would be for him if I could simply moderate. I had to really explain to him why it isn't an option for me.

I suck at verbal communications on hard topics... But it is something he and I are working on together.

Dee74

good stuff. This link may give you some other ideas and angles you may not have thought of?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

bandicoot2

Hiya Nowsthetime and ICan----yay for all of us!

We can do this!!

FLCamper

My instinct is to let him have it. Well, that "drink like a mature"person was uncalled for.
But I really don't think some people get it - they just do not understand that we cannot drink. Ever.
It was strong family support that helped me. I admire those of you who are able to quit with alcohol and people drinking it right in front of you on that first day.