Hard Time
Hard Time
Just have to release some of my deep sadness. As I have shared, my eldest daughter is not speaking to me and has expressed that she wants me to stay clear of her and children for a long time, because I drank at her new house. I understand her feelings. It's so, so hard though. But I've bee n sober since our last visit and I know that is all I do at this point. She sent me a message about the selfish, ugliness of the alcoholic. But for much of her life I have been there for her. Thanks for listening.
I am so sorry, beautifulpines, for your sadness.
I have found that most situations can be resolved, most obstacles overcome, and most relationships healed, with time, effort and continued recovery and sobriety.
Sending hugs.
I have found that most situations can be resolved, most obstacles overcome, and most relationships healed, with time, effort and continued recovery and sobriety.
Sending hugs.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: glasgow scotland
Posts: 1,004
So sorry to hear this, alcoholism is the great remover , in staying sober we have a chance of restoring some of the things we lost , by staying sober for as long as possible some little trust may grow and after a while things may heal , you may have to ''love from a distance '' for a while .
Accepting the things we cannot change does not mean we are pleased about it , at the end of the day its only us that we can change and by doing it for oneself then others attitudes towards us might also change if we remain sober.
Lifting a drink obviously will only make the situation a hundred times worse , unfortunately some alcoholics want things to change asap and it simply does not work like that , it probably took a long time for people to resort to some actions to avoid contact with us , we won't get over it overnight it takes time , bad news travels fast , good news can be a lot slower before trust starts to take place , take care .
Regards .
Stevie.
Accepting the things we cannot change does not mean we are pleased about it , at the end of the day its only us that we can change and by doing it for oneself then others attitudes towards us might also change if we remain sober.
Lifting a drink obviously will only make the situation a hundred times worse , unfortunately some alcoholics want things to change asap and it simply does not work like that , it probably took a long time for people to resort to some actions to avoid contact with us , we won't get over it overnight it takes time , bad news travels fast , good news can be a lot slower before trust starts to take place , take care .
Regards .
Stevie.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I thought I had lost my daughter because she literally hated me during the 3 years I was drinking, as well she should. The only thing that works is time and patience. Keep doing what you're doing and allow your daughter to deal with her feelings. Hopefully over time, she will come back to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
I'm sorry to read about your sorrow and sincerely wish that as you continue with the changes that need to be made you can build a wonderful relationship between you, your daughter, and your grandchildren. Think of that as the prize.
I'm sorry, beautifulpines. The holidays make it even more painful to be estranged from those we love. Do what you can to make things better. Right now that just means working on you. You can't change anyone else, just yourself. It's a hard thing to face but it's the truth. Remember, despite the times you've been there for her you've also hurt her and let her down, too. Forgiveness- if it comes- will come on her timetable, not yours.
Don't let it drag you down beautifulpines! Use this hurt as fuel to push you to stay sober and do the work. Things can get better, you'll see!
Don't let it drag you down beautifulpines! Use this hurt as fuel to push you to stay sober and do the work. Things can get better, you'll see!
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