Intro to Me - here for support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 214
Intro to Me - here for support
After reading a little I decided to come on in. Could use a little support at the moment. My husband is my usual confidant but he isnt able to offer me a lot of emotional comfort because he's battling his own demons at the moment.
I figured some of you here would understand. Always get nervous this time of year as Im due for my mammogram. I always fear the worst having lost many to cancer. Nothing particular with me, but I havent been taking great care of myself. Not so much due to husband but it adds stress of course.
Much more to add about me but probably enough for now.
I figured some of you here would understand. Always get nervous this time of year as Im due for my mammogram. I always fear the worst having lost many to cancer. Nothing particular with me, but I havent been taking great care of myself. Not so much due to husband but it adds stress of course.
Much more to add about me but probably enough for now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Welcome. I'm glad you are here... read lots and you'll find you are among many, many people who have loved ones with drinking and drug problems from all over North America and the World.
Please consider checking out this link, if you haven't already, as a start...
Please consider checking out this link, if you haven't already, as a start...
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I have a vivid memory of having to go back for a repeat mammogram (always scary but I lost my mom to breast cancer at an early age so extra scary for me) all by myself because my alcoholic partner was too drunk in the morning to go with me.
Hugs, good luck with the test, and I agree with Anvil--taking care of yourself, first, is critical when you have an alcoholic in your life.
Hugs, good luck with the test, and I agree with Anvil--taking care of yourself, first, is critical when you have an alcoholic in your life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 214
Thank you. I never share my fears with any of my family, I figure its monw to deal with but of course I would let everyone know if something turns out to be wrong. I would normally seek comfort from my husband but my fears would worry him and then he would follow the pattern of drinking to deal with it.
I set up an appointment for a full physical too but have to wait a few weeks for it.
For now trying to keep busy and ignore my fears, reason them out.
I set up an appointment for a full physical too but have to wait a few weeks for it.
For now trying to keep busy and ignore my fears, reason them out.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think you're smart not to count on your husband for support at a time like this. As much as he might WANT to support you, alcoholics just don't have it in them to provide emotional support for another person.
I just read some of your other posts, and I see you are four years clean/sober and that you are hoping your husband will do the same. I hope he does, too, but unless and until that happens, your marital problems are likely to progress right along with his disease.
Have you been to Al-Anon? I found it to be an absolute lifeline when I was at the end of my rope.
BTW, I'm seven years sober, myself, and the stuff I learned in Al-Anon helps me every day in navigating all kinds of life situations, and it has enhanced my own sobriety.
I just read some of your other posts, and I see you are four years clean/sober and that you are hoping your husband will do the same. I hope he does, too, but unless and until that happens, your marital problems are likely to progress right along with his disease.
Have you been to Al-Anon? I found it to be an absolute lifeline when I was at the end of my rope.
BTW, I'm seven years sober, myself, and the stuff I learned in Al-Anon helps me every day in navigating all kinds of life situations, and it has enhanced my own sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 214
He would try but I know it would only strain him emotionally right now. Hopefully everything will be ok.
Next month will be 5 years since I recovered. I recently looked up the dates and some of my journals to refresh my memory and relate to my huabands probable feelings. Enlightening. No never tried Al-Anon.
Next month will be 5 years since I recovered. I recently looked up the dates and some of my journals to refresh my memory and relate to my huabands probable feelings. Enlightening. No never tried Al-Anon.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I really, REALLY recommend that you give it a try. Try 5-6 different meetings--each one will have a slightly different "flavor" and chances are you'll find one or more where you can really relate to the other members. I found it a HUGE relief to be able to talk to people who really UNDERSTOOD what I was dealing with, and I learned a lot about how much I can do to take care of myself when I couldn't count on my alcoholic husband.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Agreed. One of the things my daughter and I had to come to terms with was that her mother was not going to be able to "be there" for us. Not because she didn't want to, but because she couldn't. Alcoholics simply cannot do so except after long-term recovery.
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
I think you're smart not to count on your husband for support at a time like this. As much as he might WANT to support you, alcoholics just don't have it in them to provide emotional support for another person.
I just read some of your other posts, and I see you are four years clean/sober and that you are hoping your husband will do the same. I hope he does, too, but unless and until that happens, your marital problems are likely to progress right along with his disease.
Have you been to Al-Anon? I found it to be an absolute lifeline when I was at the end of my rope.
BTW, I'm seven years sober, myself, and the stuff I learned in Al-Anon helps me every day in navigating all kinds of life situations, and it has enhanced my own sobriety.
I just read some of your other posts, and I see you are four years clean/sober and that you are hoping your husband will do the same. I hope he does, too, but unless and until that happens, your marital problems are likely to progress right along with his disease.
Have you been to Al-Anon? I found it to be an absolute lifeline when I was at the end of my rope.
BTW, I'm seven years sober, myself, and the stuff I learned in Al-Anon helps me every day in navigating all kinds of life situations, and it has enhanced my own sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Cyranoak
Agreed. One of the things my daughter and I had to come to terms with was that her mother was not going to be able to "be there" for us. Not because she didn't want to, but because she couldn't. Alcoholics simply cannot do so except after long-term recovery.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
I found that being super stressed and depressed about happenings in my life went hand-in-hand with unrealistic fears about my health. I decided I had cancer, AIDS, you name it. Once my mental state improved, many health fears became realistic precautions.
I think you're doing the right thing in getting a physical and mammogram, but when you're feeling especially fearful, remember it might be as a result of your mental state.
Don't forget to talk to your doctor about possible anxiety and depression when you have your physical.
I think you're doing the right thing in getting a physical and mammogram, but when you're feeling especially fearful, remember it might be as a result of your mental state.
Don't forget to talk to your doctor about possible anxiety and depression when you have your physical.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
