julesonya

Well I failed yesterday. A series of things caused me to drink. I had many other options and ways to not but I chose to. Just one, just two.

So I woke up this morning feeling like crap, and what is the first thing I see in my fb feed? http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/what-happened-when-this-college-student-drank-too-much-too-quickly/2015/08/31/f83876a2-2590-11e5-b77f-eb13a215f593_story.html

This was and is me. And is such a sign to me. Every time I fail or feel like a loser something like this shows up. I would like to blame the ever invasive internet but things are so specific that it can't be. Messages about not drinking, about how to battle depression, etc...
So I'll pick myself up and start a new day. I won't finish that bottle of wine today, I won't lay in bed all day and I'll do stuff to work through this hangover.

I didn't check in last night and it's bc I was drinking. Thank you sr for making me accountable and owning up. I need to partner with someone on here to check in with every night

Soberwolf

Glad your ok JulesSonya Have you got a sober plan

julesonya

Or when my son tells me he gets scared at night when he calls for me and I don't answer and I'm not in bed I'm on the couch. It scares him.

What happenened to me? And when was I not like this? I keep trying to think, I didn't always drink this much. When did it start?

entropy1964

Hi Jules
I'm sorry you're down. Maybe today don't think too much. Just do what you said, work through the hangover, rest when you need. Eat, hydrate. Vacuuming always helps me When you're feeling better you can start thinking...just try not to beat yourself up too much!

RDBplus3

hello julesonya,
have you considered working the 12 steps of aa? I drank for 40 years, and I am now sober and free. the steps ALWAYS work, when and if they are WORKED.

if you are interested, send me a private message here on Sober Recovery. I have no interest in any personal communication, other than to help you work through the steps, if you are interested.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

PurpleKnight

Go at things again Julesonya!! Today is another day to be Sober!!

Sasha4

You are a good person.
If you were not a good person, you would not have been bothered by your son.
It does not matter how much, or the progression, or the start of it. Drinking is making you unhappy and that is all you need to know and remember.
Perhaps playing the tape through to the end might help.
So for example think when considering a drink 'will it just be one glass, will I make it to bed, how will I feel when I wake at 4am freezing on the sofa, tired, hungover and groggy?'

Xx

Anna

Jules, I'm glad you're back and trying to turn this around. You can do this and be the mother and person you want to be. We're here for you.

julesonya

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I'm sitting at the pool and the two people next to me are talking. And what do I overhear? One said "you know what my sponsor said to me? You never see a sober person living under a bridge" as he talks to his neighbor.

Everything is pointing to me stopping and seeing that I am not the only one suffering from this.

MIRecovery

Have you tried AA? Seems to be working for the people at the pool. When I got a sponsor and worked the steps amazing things started happening.

Dee74

Welcome back Jules

There's some really great ideas on support, dealing with cravings, and making recovery plans here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

julesonya

I did find out my insurance will cover the outpatient treatment. Its 3 hours/day 3 days a week for 5-6 weeks.

I need to make my formal plan.