Hawk07

Hello..

I'm in my 9th month of sobriety. I'm truly grateful for this and finally feel alive again. I still have fear that I could lose this at any point though particularly now.

Every year at my job the last 3 weeks of August are high season and super busy because of a local event and tourism.. Starting next week I'll be on for the next 2-3 weeks straight no days off working anywhere between 10-12 hr days. Last year I failed miserably a week into it, went on a binge and didn't show up to work for days.. I'm lucky and very thankful I still have my job today because I love my job. I guess I'm just scared I'll slip somehow..I'll be exhausted and stressed one of those days and make some mindless decision at a weak point under stress and fall for the 'just one drink'. I don't know. My work place will also be stocked with alcohol for clients easily accessible to me. This would be prime time for my AV to make a strong appearance.

I don't even know what I'm asking for in posting this.. I've gone through a lot of 'firsts' in this first year of sobriety. Holidays and unpredictable situations that I never before thought I could handle without a drink. This however will be the most difficult I've faced so far. At least I'm going into it with my 9 months of sobriety, the longest ever for me. I have a lot on the line to lose and I'll remember that in these next few weeks. Wish me luck please. Say a little prayer.

RDBplus3

CONGRATS HAWK on the 9 MONTHS !!!!

May our God of Grace & Mercy continue to shine the Sunlight of the Spirit in your Soul. And when the harshness of Life eclipses the Sunlight, I PRAY for you to maintain your Serenity, Sobriety, and the Peace that Passes Understanding thru any Dark Night of the Soul ... until you again experience that Sunlight of the Spirit ...

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... thanks for the post Hawk

Dee74

Remember that we;re always here Hawk - 24/7 support.

I never felt very confident of my ability to handle high stress or - even worse - a crisis...

but once I gave up drinking I found I was actually way more capable than I ever realised.

I have faith that you'll find that too Hawk

D

TroyW

Do you by chance have a smart phone? If so, do you have the SR app installed on it? If not, maybe give that a try. If you're having a rough day, post here and get some support and feedback. That's what we're here for, and might help.

Either way, all the best.

Dave42001

Kudos on 9 months!! You can do this!! Wishing you the best!

ckoures

Awesome on your time. You. Can. Do this.

Verte

Fabulous job with 9 months!!

I third the suggestion to log into SR. You are ahead of the game in the sense that you see something coming. Plan to keep yourself occupied before and after your marathon work. Stay well-fed and well-hydrated. Plan to do everything in your power to give this month your best work. Plan to keep your job. This time will pass. Visualize success.

Glad you posted here. Stay close.

CaseyW

You can do this. Nine months is amazing. If those thoughts hit, use that nine months as a buffer, give yourself a minute to think the drink thru, pause long enough to come on here and ask for help.

You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us updated. You can do this!

Savior

Last year I spent over $10,000 on booze. Add that to lost time at work, medical expenses, drunken internet purchases and a host of other dumbass expenditures, my addiction cost somewhere in the area of $30,000. Yet I had to think twice before spending the 99¢ for downloading the Sober Recovery iPhone app. Priorities have never been my strong point

Hawk07

Thank you so much everyone for the encouragement and support. It's means so much to me. RDB thank you for the prayer. Dee as always thank you for your wisdom and words of encouragement. Troy I have SR on my phone and will definitely seek support if I find myself in a pickle. Hahah, Savior I can relate to that big time. Still paying off some of my ventures from those days.

MythOfSisyphus

Nine months is awesome! Use what you've learned this past year to deal with those cravings if they come. You know now that you don't have to drink, there are other ways to live.

Soberwolf

Nine months is great Hawks

DitzyDandelion

You can do it. Oddly I am the opposite I tend to be pretty darn good in a crisis it makes me focus. It's the happy quiet time after where I feel good about myself that is dangerous. Anyway stick close to us. We will help remind you of what you really want. Which is to stay sober.

PurpleKnight

9 Months is fantastic!!

Hawk07

Just wanted to let everyone know I've made it so far sobriety intact. The worst of it is over now. Days are back to the normal 8hr shift and in just one more week I'll have my first day off
It was interesting....EVERYONE except me would head straight for the tequila bottle in the back room for a couple shots at the and of the long day. It has always been a ritual amongst the company for unwinding and bonding. Checking in on SR helped ease the isolation during those times although I was way to fried to post anything. That would be followed by a dinner meeting and a few more drinks while we discussed plans for the next day. Lucky for all of them they had a DD because boy did they need one on a few occasions. I could tell some of them were hurting the next day which made me even more grateful for sobriety. I couldn't imagine getting through another 12hr shift hungover.
As I'm closing in on one year it's like coming full circle back to where I began. Fall is almost here, the days will be short and work will be slow. Meaning lots of extra time on my hands. I've been noticing all the fall beer brews displayed prominently in grocery stores... My AV is stirring up a bit. I need to step up and take care, extra precautions to protect my sobriety. I know it's different for everyone but I'm feeling the one year mark will be a test for me. I've coasted along more or less on a pink cloud so far everything new bright and shiny. Now that the newness of it all is wearing off I have to be careful not to forget the awful miserable state I was in when I started and how quickly I could return to that.

Did anyone else have a issues around the one year mark? Also, does anyone else find the fall/winter months more difficult?

Anna

Hi Hawk, I'm glad to hear you're getting through this busy period at work, and good work on 9 months sober.

And, it's good that you're noticing your AV perking up as your one year anniversary approaches. I didn't have the pink cloud experience and in some ways, I think it was better that way. If you don't have a Gratitude Journal, maybe this would be a good time to think about starting one. Maybe you could promise yourself a reward for your anniversary that would be something for you to look forward to.

Mountainmanbob

Yes, sounds like each day sober is a record sober time for us.
We need to always keep fresh on the mind,
how hard it was to sober up and stay sober.
Plus, now we truly realize,
if we relapse we may never return to a sober life.
I have known many who returned to run with the liquid devil,
that were soon dead with a bottle in their hand.

If alcoholic ?? All of the worst can happen real fast if we drink yet again.

You have been healed -- "now stop your sinning or something worst may happen to you."
Wise Words taken from the Bible.

MM

firstymer

Here's my 2 cents worth, Hawk. You KNOW you can stay sober. You have proven that. Now it is just a matter of whether you WANT to stay sober. You remember where you were when you were drinking. You are the best one to assess whether your life is better or worse now that you are sober.

Virtually everyone here who has been sober, like you, and has gone back to drinking, ends up drinking as hard or harder than they ever did before they quit. So, recognize that. If you start drinking again, you will be right back where you were. Or worse.

Faced with that choice, I have decided to stay sober. I have decided to simply accept that urges will hit me, unexpectedly sometimes, predictably at other times. I will fight through those urges, taking some comfort in knowing that, over time, they will be less frequent and less severe.

Given where you are, and what you have gained over the last 9+ months, it really is the only choice that makes any sense, isn't it?

Good luck.

Soberwolf

Congrats Hawks

Hawk07

Thank you Anna. The gratitude journal and reward idea are fantastic.

Mountainmanbob, I couldn't tell you how many times I tried and failed to get sober. Hundreds possibly and I just continued to get worse and worse. This time it stuck but I don't know if I could do it again. I'm not in AA but I have a higher power and that is my mother who passed away in her sleep unexpectedly when I was 28.
She is my Guardian angel.
Firstymer, yes, there would be absolutely nothing rational about returning to drinking. I make the choice to stay sober each day one day at a time.