Hot tips on how to start quitting
Broken Heart of Gold
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 87
Hot tips on how to start quitting
So...I've been spending a lot of time in the friends & family forums because my rather recent ex is an alcoholic and an addict (is that redundant?). I had a baby in March & since then my drinking has increased to get my mind off of him & the special breed of crazy he brings to my life - the "insanity". We never have nice separations - lots of blame games & denial but I leave because of the abuse (I tell myself the abuse is a result of using/ drinking, but I'm not 100% on that). The abuse did a number on me, but I know this isn't the place for help on that.
I'm looking to quit drinking - wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic who needs steps, but I do need some kind of program because I fear that it could get to that point eventually because I'm in a weak spot & feel out of control at times. I don't want to be a drunk hypocrite so why not start being a sober role model for my kids.
Any hot tips on how to get started - besides the obvious of "don't drink"? How do I stay "not drinking"? I quit cigarettes nine years ago, so I think I can do this too
I'm looking to quit drinking - wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic who needs steps, but I do need some kind of program because I fear that it could get to that point eventually because I'm in a weak spot & feel out of control at times. I don't want to be a drunk hypocrite so why not start being a sober role model for my kids.
Any hot tips on how to get started - besides the obvious of "don't drink"? How do I stay "not drinking"? I quit cigarettes nine years ago, so I think I can do this too
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcome BlackSabbath
There's some really good info on recovery plans in this link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Staying connected here on a regular basis will help too. Why not join our Class of August support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-pt-2-a-8.html
D
There's some really good info on recovery plans in this link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Staying connected here on a regular basis will help too. Why not join our Class of August support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-pt-2-a-8.html
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Colchester, England
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by BlackSabbath 
I'm looking to quit drinking - wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic who needs steps, but I do need some kind of program because I fear that it could get to that point eventually because I'm in a weak spot & feel out of control at times.
Any hot tips on how to get started - besides the obvious of "don't drink"? How do I stay "not drinking"? I quit cigarettes nine years ago, so I think I can do this too
I only know the AA way of stopping drinking, but know that there are other types of recovery and believe that all roads lead to Rome. At the end of the day, for me, the only way I've stayed "not drinking" for over 17 years is not to pick up a drink. I've learnt that the solution to my problems is not at the bottom of a bottle and that if I do drink, all bets are off.
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Blacksabbath, I only went to 2-3 AA meetings , in between my times of trying to be sober . This last time I pretty much did it on my own . Stayed away from the usual Person - places & things . Got into hobbies , there's so many new things to try . If I didn't like one I would look for another . Anything to keep my mind occupied
Nail art , making over my wardrobe in different ways got a sewing machine , oil paints , hook rugs , cross stitch . Healthy recipes to make ...pinterest has loads of ideas
Nail art , making over my wardrobe in different ways got a sewing machine , oil paints , hook rugs , cross stitch . Healthy recipes to make ...pinterest has loads of ideas
Broken Heart of Gold
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by PurpleDan
Curious...what, to you, is an alcoholic? And what happens when you drink so that you feel "out of control"?
I only know the AA way of stopping drinking, but know that there are other types of recovery and believe that all roads lead to Rome. At the end of the day, for me, the only way I've stayed "not drinking" for over 17 years is not to pick up a drink. I've learnt that the solution to my problems is not at the bottom of a bottle and that if I do drink, all bets are off.
I only know the AA way of stopping drinking, but know that there are other types of recovery and believe that all roads lead to Rome. At the end of the day, for me, the only way I've stayed "not drinking" for over 17 years is not to pick up a drink. I've learnt that the solution to my problems is not at the bottom of a bottle and that if I do drink, all bets are off.
I have nothing against AA - I've been following "the steps" during my time dealing with the father of my kids. I find the AA and Al-Anon slogans useful - yet I don't feel like I belong when I'm at an Al-Anon meeting, and I don't think I'm insanely out of control yet. Just wondered if anything else has worked for others...
NestWasEmpty - I sew for a living! I love Pinterest! I have many gratifying hobbies & talents that I do to keep me busy. I also have two little people I am raising on my own who keep me very busy and entertained
I see you're in VT - I recently got back from there, a much needed break in a beautiful environment!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Welcome! Remember when Yoda said: "Do, or do not. There is no 'try'". It's pretty straight forward and to be honest that's the only advice I have.
There is no "start quitting". You either quit, or you drink. There's never a perfect time for it, there's no system or plan that I know of that will gradually decrease your desire to drink and land you in a fluffy pink rainbow happy town. It's hard. Nobody who ever quit drinking because it was causing problems had an easy time putting it away. That's just the bare bones of it, in my experience.
Why don't you just try a night without drink? Or a week? Or two? See how it goes, stick around, and learn and converse with others who are going through it and have been through it. You can get there, good luck!
There is no "start quitting". You either quit, or you drink. There's never a perfect time for it, there's no system or plan that I know of that will gradually decrease your desire to drink and land you in a fluffy pink rainbow happy town. It's hard. Nobody who ever quit drinking because it was causing problems had an easy time putting it away. That's just the bare bones of it, in my experience.
Why don't you just try a night without drink? Or a week? Or two? See how it goes, stick around, and learn and converse with others who are going through it and have been through it. You can get there, good luck!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
considering that JUST QUIT isn't quit "enough" for you, i'd say alcohol at the very least has become a problem. you have a 5 month old baby at home and ingesting alcohol is counterproductive to good parenting......FOR ANYONE.
i feel that the steps can help ANYONE - regardless of their base issue. don't discount it til you try it. certainly can't make things worse.
it is awesome that you are here, being honest, and asking for help.
i feel that the steps can help ANYONE - regardless of their base issue. don't discount it til you try it. certainly can't make things worse.
it is awesome that you are here, being honest, and asking for help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
For me, one day at a time works the best. I don't worry about the coming weeks or months. All I know is I won't have a drink today, and that's good enough for me right now.
Then tomorrow, I'll make the same promise to myself. Keeps it simple and easy that way. I can do one day no problem, whereas promising myself I'm going to do 6 months is a little daunting.
Welcome to SR though. Hope you stick around.
Then tomorrow, I'll make the same promise to myself. Keeps it simple and easy that way. I can do one day no problem, whereas promising myself I'm going to do 6 months is a little daunting.
Welcome to SR though. Hope you stick around.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
As I'm sure you are aware, there are many people on this site with long term sobriety. I'm sure they can give you many ideas other than your current ones to help you. Just keep posting and keep us updated. I'm newly sober so I can't offer anything concrete, just support. Those kids need you, forever.
Broken Heart of Gold
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by bigsombrero
Welcome! Remember when Yoda said: "Do, or do not. There is no 'try'". It's pretty straight forward and to be honest that's the only advice I have.
There is no "start quitting". You either quit, or you drink. There's never a perfect time for it, there's no system or plan that I know of that will gradually decrease your desire to drink and land you in a fluffy pink rainbow happy town. It's hard. Nobody who ever quit drinking because it was causing problems had an easy time putting it away. That's just the bare bones of it, in my experience.
Why don't you just try a night without drink? Or a week? Or two? See how it goes, stick around, and learn and converse with others who are going through it and have been through it. You can get there, good luck!
There is no "start quitting". You either quit, or you drink. There's never a perfect time for it, there's no system or plan that I know of that will gradually decrease your desire to drink and land you in a fluffy pink rainbow happy town. It's hard. Nobody who ever quit drinking because it was causing problems had an easy time putting it away. That's just the bare bones of it, in my experience.
Why don't you just try a night without drink? Or a week? Or two? See how it goes, stick around, and learn and converse with others who are going through it and have been through it. You can get there, good luck!
AnvilheadII - exactly. It's not fair to the kids. They've already got one alcoholic parent and I don't want them to have 2.
Thank you everyone <3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi blacksabbath. I started haunting this board on the family and friends forum. Over time I changed up to newcomers to deal with my own alcoholic drinking. Running to the bottle to escape the pain. I quit drinking while pregnant with both our kids but started right back up again in a couple of months after their births.
I hit it hard and ended up in inpatient rehab. You don't have to go that route but the last time I quit, I came on SR a lot, attended AA meetings and started reaching out in real life for support.
A combination of approaches has gotten me pretty far but I'm looking to add more because just not drinking isn't enough. It does take work to keep from drinking to drown the pain. Once I quit though and got more clear headed, I've been able to handle the husband's drinking and have become stronger in getting to a place where I can make decisions. Husband's now two weeks sober but if he hops back on the crazy train I am better equipped to do what I need to.
You can too. You quit smoking. I've not been able to yet. Fear. But the same principles apply.
Welcome
I hit it hard and ended up in inpatient rehab. You don't have to go that route but the last time I quit, I came on SR a lot, attended AA meetings and started reaching out in real life for support.
A combination of approaches has gotten me pretty far but I'm looking to add more because just not drinking isn't enough. It does take work to keep from drinking to drown the pain. Once I quit though and got more clear headed, I've been able to handle the husband's drinking and have become stronger in getting to a place where I can make decisions. Husband's now two weeks sober but if he hops back on the crazy train I am better equipped to do what I need to.
You can too. You quit smoking. I've not been able to yet. Fear. But the same principles apply.
Welcome
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Heres 101 tips that D compiled its very useful and helpful http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by bigsombrero
Welcome! Remember when Yoda said: "Do, or do not. There is no 'try'". It's pretty straight forward and to be honest that's the only advice I have.
Why don't you just try a night without drink? Or a week? Or two? See how it goes, stick around, and learn and converse with others who are going through it and have been through it. You can get there, good luck!
Why don't you just try a night without drink? Or a week? Or two? See how it goes, stick around, and learn and converse with others who are going through it and have been through it. You can get there, good luck!
You quit smoking and that is pretty amazing. Do you remember standing there with a cigarette and thinking that quitting the next day would actually be kinda easy? Then that feeling at 5 pm and you're driving and want one? Well, you know the whole drill with smoking.
And on that note, think of quitting drinking exactly like quitting smoking. It's something you did. It's something you stopped. It's something you're never going to do again under any circumstance. I think you've got this in the bag but it is a 100% commitment. No more alcohol. Just like no more smoking.
Can I tell you something? From what you have described, I was much further down the road of alcoholism and I found quitting smoking much, much harder than quitting drinking.
Broken Heart of Gold
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 87
Wow, so much positivity and encouragement here - thank you all!!!
Yesterday was suuuch a horrible day for me!!! I was happy though that today was a much better day. I didn't have a drink today, not even when I met up with my friend for lunch. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step
Yesterday was suuuch a horrible day for me!!! I was happy though that today was a much better day. I didn't have a drink today, not even when I met up with my friend for lunch. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I suppose you will find out whether you need more than "just don't drink" by trying it. Some people who haven't quite crossed the line yet can pretty much do it just on willpower, like quitting smoking (actually, I found quitting drinking easier than quitting smoking--thankfully I have switched to vaping, which is MUCH less harmful). If you were able to give up cigarettes and you aren't an alcoholic but rather a situational heavy drinker (whose drinking could conceivably progress to alcoholism), you might not find it that hard.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
