Relapse prevention plan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
Relapse prevention plan
Do you have a relapse prevention plan?
It's more than distracting yourself when cravings hit. It's more than fighting with your addiction about whether or not picking up a 6-pack after work is a bad idea. It's more than dealing with triggers.
Identify your high-risk situations.
People, places, feelings, situations connected to drinking, stress.
How will you cope with each high-risk situation.
I had a RPP that worked well, until I let my guard down. I let my guard down and didn't even notice when I was recently exposed to high-risk situations, and then I wasn't able to implement my coping strategies because I wasn't paying attention.
My recent relapse (one night) after an extended period of sobriety (over 15 months) was something I felt was a sneak attack by my addiction. I didn't know why I did it. I thought it "just happened."
It didn't "just happen." It was multiple high-risk situations that had been building up on top of each other and I'd been ignoring them all. I have a big change coming up in my living situation causing me anxiety which I was in denial over and not expressing or talking about it. Stress is a big trigger for me. I was sweeping it all under the rug, pretending everything is fine even though it's not fine.
I started to resent how much time meetings were taking up and I wanted to do other things instead of sitting in a church basement listening to the same drunk-a-logs over and over.
I started to "forget" to call my sponsor, because I was sick of telling her "everything is fine" and knowing something was not quite right about that even though I had yet to realize why everything was not fine.
When my coworkers were talking about how much drinking they were gonna do over the weekend, I should have excused myself because that's a big trigger for me. I didn't leave the room.
At a birthday party the night before my relapse people were drinking. I pretended it didn't bother me. I went to the fridge to get some soda and there was an open bottle of wine in the way. I should have asked someone else to get the soda out. I had to move the wine out of the way. Touching the cool bottle, seeing the cork sticking out, watching others drink it in pretty glasses, all of it was something which is high-risk FOR ME.
There are probably more things I could add to my list of high-risk situations that led up to my relapse.
I need to work on my coping skills too. I need to pay attention. Just because someone else can be a bartender in recovery doesn't mean I can or even should ever touch an open bottle of wine. If it's high-risk FOR ME, that's A PROBLEM.
There wasn't just one single event or situation that "caused" me to drink. That's why it felt like a sneak attack.
It's more than distracting yourself when cravings hit. It's more than fighting with your addiction about whether or not picking up a 6-pack after work is a bad idea. It's more than dealing with triggers.
Identify your high-risk situations.
People, places, feelings, situations connected to drinking, stress.
How will you cope with each high-risk situation.
I had a RPP that worked well, until I let my guard down. I let my guard down and didn't even notice when I was recently exposed to high-risk situations, and then I wasn't able to implement my coping strategies because I wasn't paying attention.
My recent relapse (one night) after an extended period of sobriety (over 15 months) was something I felt was a sneak attack by my addiction. I didn't know why I did it. I thought it "just happened."
It didn't "just happen." It was multiple high-risk situations that had been building up on top of each other and I'd been ignoring them all. I have a big change coming up in my living situation causing me anxiety which I was in denial over and not expressing or talking about it. Stress is a big trigger for me. I was sweeping it all under the rug, pretending everything is fine even though it's not fine.
I started to resent how much time meetings were taking up and I wanted to do other things instead of sitting in a church basement listening to the same drunk-a-logs over and over.
I started to "forget" to call my sponsor, because I was sick of telling her "everything is fine" and knowing something was not quite right about that even though I had yet to realize why everything was not fine.
When my coworkers were talking about how much drinking they were gonna do over the weekend, I should have excused myself because that's a big trigger for me. I didn't leave the room.
At a birthday party the night before my relapse people were drinking. I pretended it didn't bother me. I went to the fridge to get some soda and there was an open bottle of wine in the way. I should have asked someone else to get the soda out. I had to move the wine out of the way. Touching the cool bottle, seeing the cork sticking out, watching others drink it in pretty glasses, all of it was something which is high-risk FOR ME.
There are probably more things I could add to my list of high-risk situations that led up to my relapse.
I need to work on my coping skills too. I need to pay attention. Just because someone else can be a bartender in recovery doesn't mean I can or even should ever touch an open bottle of wine. If it's high-risk FOR ME, that's A PROBLEM.
There wasn't just one single event or situation that "caused" me to drink. That's why it felt like a sneak attack.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
If you suffer from urges or cravings at any time REACH OUT its the biggest tool against cravings heres some links http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Thanks for sharing that bookmaven. Sounds exactly what happened to me on my last relapse. Stress, isolating, pretending I was fine, skipping meetings so when there was the straw that broke the camel's back, I drank. I know now that it wasn't a stealth attack by my av, it was me being a relapse waiting to happen. I learned that I need to pay attention. Really close attention. I'm going through that right now again. And it was around this time two years ago that I relapsed. Your post is a timely reminder.
I hope your stress resolves soon. It's not comfortable living through it. Thank you.
I hope your stress resolves soon. It's not comfortable living through it. Thank you.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
"My recent relapse (one night) after an extended period of sobriety (over 15 months) was something I felt was a sneak attack by my addiction. I didn't know why I did it. I thought it "just happened."
It didn't "just happen." It was multiple high-risk situations that had been building up on top of each other and I'd been ignoring them all. I have a big change coming up in my living situation causing me anxiety which I was in denial over and not expressing or talking about it. Stress is a big trigger for me. I was sweeping it all under the rug, pretending everything is fine even though it's not fine."
Hi Bookmaven, I can really relate to this! I relapsed for 22 years after 6 years of sobriety. Until just recently, I had believed that the relapse came out of nowhere, just snuck up out of left field.
It was reading here at SR that made me think more in-depth about the circumstances that were happening at the time.
a) I had recently moved to a new city, leaving all of my support network behind, and did not make an effort to find new support.
b) I had split up with my ex-husband.
c) I worked in a bar (this was manageable in my former city, not so much here)
d) I had not made any friends outside of work, at said bar, and it was a heavy drinking crowd.
e) So, yes, I was lonely.
f) I allowed the thought "if I drank I would be able to hang out with this crowd and really be accepted" to float around in my head without ever once countering with the thought "drinking is not an option".
g) I believed that my sobriety was all wrapped up tight, I had it in the bag. Despite knowing that my casual over confidence about it put me in a vulnerable place, well, maybe that would put "other" people in a vulnerable place, but not me, 'cause, you know, I got this.
h) Because of my over confidence I didn't value my sobriety, I didn't keep it front and centre, I didn't think I needed to take care of it.
I could keep adding to this list but it is very clear to me now that my relapse didn't "just happen".
I allowed it, encouraged it, did nothing to take a stand and prevent it.
Drinking is not an option and never will be is my new catch phrase!
Thank you for starting this very valid topic. I think there are a lot of folk who feel blindsided by their relapses. I hope this thread will get people looking at the risk factors lurking and
kick them to the curb before they "just happen".
It didn't "just happen." It was multiple high-risk situations that had been building up on top of each other and I'd been ignoring them all. I have a big change coming up in my living situation causing me anxiety which I was in denial over and not expressing or talking about it. Stress is a big trigger for me. I was sweeping it all under the rug, pretending everything is fine even though it's not fine."
Hi Bookmaven, I can really relate to this! I relapsed for 22 years after 6 years of sobriety. Until just recently, I had believed that the relapse came out of nowhere, just snuck up out of left field.
It was reading here at SR that made me think more in-depth about the circumstances that were happening at the time.
a) I had recently moved to a new city, leaving all of my support network behind, and did not make an effort to find new support.
b) I had split up with my ex-husband.
c) I worked in a bar (this was manageable in my former city, not so much here)
d) I had not made any friends outside of work, at said bar, and it was a heavy drinking crowd.
e) So, yes, I was lonely.
f) I allowed the thought "if I drank I would be able to hang out with this crowd and really be accepted" to float around in my head without ever once countering with the thought "drinking is not an option".
g) I believed that my sobriety was all wrapped up tight, I had it in the bag. Despite knowing that my casual over confidence about it put me in a vulnerable place, well, maybe that would put "other" people in a vulnerable place, but not me, 'cause, you know, I got this.
h) Because of my over confidence I didn't value my sobriety, I didn't keep it front and centre, I didn't think I needed to take care of it.
I could keep adding to this list but it is very clear to me now that my relapse didn't "just happen".
I allowed it, encouraged it, did nothing to take a stand and prevent it.
Drinking is not an option and never will be is my new catch phrase!
Thank you for starting this very valid topic. I think there are a lot of folk who feel blindsided by their relapses. I hope this thread will get people looking at the risk factors lurking and
kick them to the curb before they "just happen". Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 277
Thanks so much for this. I've been thinking through my own plan which involves heading off cravings before they start. I have friends coming to visit this weekend. They will be bringing wine and my husband will have beer. I'm rehearsing in my head what I will say and do. Fortunately, these friends know that I am an alcoholic from my last period of extended sobriety so I can just tell them I am back on the wagon and they will understand. It's not them I need to worry about, it's me and how I react to having wine around.
My resolve is firm and I know how to say no. I know I want to stay sober more than I want to drink. It's going to be fine.
My resolve is firm and I know how to say no. I know I want to stay sober more than I want to drink. It's going to be fine.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope. It is vital we come together and have courage to let others know, to bare our souls when the sun goes behind the clouds for a bit.
Many of your feelings I too experience. By you carrying this message there is no telling how many others you've helped = + me.
Glad you're on this journey with us
Many of your feelings I too experience. By you carrying this message there is no telling how many others you've helped = + me.
Glad you're on this journey with us
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