toadie54

Thanks to freshstart57's pinned post, the book called Rational Recovery and this forum I have accepted RR & AVRT as the way to go for me, and therefore today begins the end of my counting one day at a time!

I may continue to mark the months and years here on SR as an example of my continued success, but RR makes this totally unnecessary, which I also find empowering!

I also changed my signature today to officially declare to the SR world my Big Plan, even though I decided and put it into place about a week ago.

I hope to subtly keep spreading the alternative option of RR and AVRT, but moreover I just want to stay involved here on SR to offer any kind of support I can, and stay accountable to myself.

SR and the Secular Connections forum truly does "rock". Thanks again everyone.

peanut44

Congrats! I too have recently discovered RR. I'm currently reading The Small Book and it just makes sense. My husband is also a big fan although he is not a substance abuser. Lucky him!
I haven't made the Big Plan, although i am 6 days clean today.
Good job!

toadie54

I've been reading of your progress peanut44! Way to go! Even though I'm stopping my counting today is day 30.

peanut44

That's awesome! It's weird how it works but it does. I couldn't figure out what that voice was in my head until i read rational recovery and it was like someone opened the curtains and the light came bursting in.
So THAT'S what that is! Lol! Now shut up AV!

I'm so glad i found it!

dwtbd

And we used to make fun of Mrs Bush, just say No
Congrats to all those who made a BP, and to those waiting come on in the water is more than fine

brynn

Hi toadie!
Well done on making your BP! Simplicity is key for me, and I can't imagine anything more elementary than the BIg Plan. It hasn't always been easy, but it has been simple. People have told me they can't imagine making a declaration of 'forever'. I can't imagine struggling with a daily decision to drink or not. Frees up my mind for other endeavors!
Congrats on your newfound freedom!

NoelleR

I never laughed at Mrs. Bush; she didn't say, "Just say no;" that was Mrs. Reagan.

"...I have accepted RR & AVRT as the way to go for me, and therefore today begins the end of my counting one day at a time..."

I always get a chuckle out of folks who seem to assume that that there is a recovery program that believes in quitting drinking one day at a time.............NOT true.

As in the serenity prayer, there is a recovery program that believes in living one's life one day at a time, but it also believes in getting sober for good and all (that's like forever; that's in their book).

I live my life one day at a time; I quit drinking/drugging for good and all 23 June 1986.

(o:
NoelleR

MIRecovery

If it keeps you sober and relatively happy then it is a successful methodology for you.

There is more than one way to get from Point A to B we just have to find the correct path.

dwtbd

Red faced face palm emoticon Nancy, not Barbra thx for the correction. I chuckle here and there too, though you rarely hear about it.

freshstart57

I think it should be not, 'just say no to drugs'. Instead, I like 'just say no to IT, and then say yes to YOU!'

MythOfSisyphus

Way to go!

jazzfish

Congratulations! I personally like counting the days, but it is neither part of my program nor a goal. I remember doing this with smoking and at some point in the first year, I just stopped doing it.

toadie54

MIR, I believe you follow the AA path, and as you say, you just need to get to point B, anyway that works.

Thanks to you and all the rest for your support.

MIRecovery

It is my opinion that regardless of how we do it three things need to happen. One is total abstinence, two is working on the underlying causes of why we felt it necessary to drink, three building a rich, full happy life without alcohol.

Have a great sober day

toadie54

MIR, I like the order of your three requirements...too many think that you need to resolve your underlying causes before abstinence, and this I don't agree with, JMHO.

dwtbd

Fs57
Yes I agree, there's a little more flesh in your statement. The first lady's comment was chided at the time for being naively simplistic but in essence when ending an addiction the operative concept in regard continuing to use is "NO" and any other connotation "not an option", " off the table ", "oh hell no ,you dumbass little liar", " I'm done trading my life , body and soul, just to fuel the endless desire for intoxication, I want and deserve better"

Stewart888

Like you not counting any longer...If fact took my year down and now only have the month and day...Because it has been a while I have honestly forgot if it was 2012 or 2013. Since I am not a drinking I don't need to count any longer....
I guess if I really wanted to know I could g o back to old posts...but not counting ..

JeffreyAK

I counted days for the first year, because the outpatient support group I went to every week liked to go 'round the room starting with number of days clean and sober, but after a year I stopped bothering. I remember my sober date (within a couple days, it's foggy....), and web calculators can tell me how many days it's been if I want to count, but otherwise it's "nearly 5 years" and that's close enough. Maybe in 20 years I won't remember how many years it's been, but for me it's hard not to remember such a life-changing period as a clear demarkation, before = probably drunk and after = stone sober.

dwtbd

I don't count days either, I suppose I use my sign up date on SR as a near enough approximation. I don't recall my last morning bourbon, or my last full on drunk, but I vividly remember my last drink. I poured it out unfinished , I was doing my own tapering , and according to my formula that wasn't 'the' last one, but I had decided to become a nondrinker and the physical symptoms at that point were not overwhelming, something clicked at that moment and out it went . I think what really clicked was feeling the idea , not only on an intellectual level but with the requisite emotional connection to the idea that wanting and doing were separable. That quitting was possible even if 'part' of me still wanted to drink , the AV , the waning of the active addiction itself.
I didn't count days , but I did/do mark the passage of time. I got my tattoo around my first year anniversary , because I was interested in getting one and one that 'meant' something. I know I have a one yearish old tattoo and have been a stone cold sober nondrinker for two years , and one day I'm sure I will answer the question 'so how long has been?' with the same mental strain it takes to answer the same question asked about my marriage, "hmm lemme think our oldest is..." I won't forget( or certainly better not) that I'm married or sober, but since I am, wondering about how long, just kinda makes me feel older , so I know I just don't really pay attention.
I owe/(own) my sobriety 100% to myself, but feel I huge debt of gratitude to SR for pointing me in the right direction and the perspective I 've gained from Mr Trimpey's books.
Decide to be a nondrinker and believe you can do it, because you can, you'll be amazed at how with the passage of time you can 'feel' the' belief', Onward!

brynn

Well said, dwtbd!