newinrecovery

Last night I went to a party when I knew it was not a good idea. There was a ton of alcohol and drugs...I was about to use when my sponsor texted me. She said she felt something was wrong and she wanted to make sure I was ok.

I don't know why I did not even call her. I want to stay clean and sober but I feel like no matter what I am doing, it will not work for me. I don't even feel like working the steps with my sponsor or go to meetings and I know that can be bad.

I started thinking that perhaps I am not that bad..and that perhaps I could use and drink just one last time...I always think that before a relapse.

I don't know what to do anymore

PurpleKnight

I went round in circles for a long time, go a period of Sobreity and convince myself things aren't that bad, start drinking again and be back to square one!!

For me reaching out in those times for support was important, getting a second opinion on things, as in isolation my own mind would convince me to drink, here on SR there's always someone to talk to or threads to read to keep that focus and it was invaluable for me.

Also it came down to decisions, what places to go, what people to hang out with, what activities to get involved in, parties and bars would always put temptation in my way, the key for me was to be a s far away from alcohol with no chance of picking that first drink up to make Sobriety stick in the early months!!

You can do this!!

Anna

Yes, it sounds like you need to make some decisions. If you want to live a sober life, then you will probably need to make some changes about places and people in your life. You will be able to recover if you are motivated.

Imtehaan

Keep at it.. Just be strong not to pick up the 1st drink or temptation to use only for once. We know from hearts of hearts that, we , just can not have one drink or use it only for once.. As Anna said, some changes will be needed for life style.. My therapist went through all the upcoming parties/celebrations/events/trips/vacations etc with me during last session and helped me with coping strategy.. The most basic , was to avoid the alcohol filled events,celebrations and people as long as possible during early recovery days. I am just doing that..

least

I'd suggest staying away from slippery places until you get stronger in your sobriety. The temptation can be too much.

Thepatman

Well done for not giving in.

Like other said, if you go play near the vulcano, you will most likelly stumble and get burned.

All good, this is about learning how to live again.

Rock on!

Soberintexas007

Hi NewinRecovery,
It seems to me from your post that you maybe are not ready for sobriety. Whatever you do, if you decide to use again, please don't drink and drive! Be safe!!!

Soberwolf

What is your plan friend http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

newinrecovery

Thank you everyone. Had a good talk with my sponsor. I am gonna stay away from these parties and people. I am going to do a meeting each day this week too. Relapse is not an option anymore..

Ruby2

I'm glad you talked to you sponsor and came here. I went through long stretches of "why bother? I can't do this.". But I can do this. I'm doing it one day at a time. You can. Don't sell yourself short.