AA Daily Reflection
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 809
AA Daily Reflection
I've been struggling with sobriety for some time now. I really want to put as much effort into my recovery as I have my addiction. There are a few new things that I am putting into place now to keep myself focused and grounded.
One of these things is not only reading the daily reflection, but writing about it here. Truly thinking about it, what it means to me, and how it applies to my life today. Doing this every day to keep the program in the forefront of my mind. And holding myself accountable for doing it, by posting here.
Feel free to ignore me as I ramble on here, or feel free to contribute if you have any thoughts on the reflection.
I'll probably conclude my daily post with a prayer, as this is something that I struggle with as well....
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DAY 1 - April 21, 2015:
CULTIVATING FAITH
"I don't think we can do anything very well in this world unless we practice it. And I don't believe we do A.A. too well unless we practice it. . . . We should practice . . . acquiring the spirit of service. We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isn't easily done, especially for the person who has always been very materialistic, following the standards of society today. But I think faith can be acquired; it can be acquired slowly; it has to be cultivated. That was not easy for me, and I assume that it is difficult for everyone else. . . ."
— DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, pp. 307-08
Fear is often the force that prevents me from acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, service, and serenity.
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I certainly struggle with faith, and I have been a very fearful individual most of my life. Mostly today, I have this heavy and all-consuming fear that I won't ever experience the spiritual awakening required to recover from alcoholism. I'm afraid of myself. Afraid of the power of my disease and the sudden nature of my relapses. I think that this is a healthy fear, until I allow it to encompass my entire being and hold me hostage. How do I practice faith around this fear?
Well. If I look around the rooms of AA I see people who have "recovered" from alcoholism all around me. People who talk as if they drank like I did. If it can happen for them, it has to be able to happen for me. Why not? What makes me any different? I guess I need to just keep reminding myself of that. This can work. This can work for ME.
Practicing faith for me is sooo difficult right now. I guess that's why it says we need to practice practice to get better.
I do know that I must have a little bit of hope left somewhere inside - a little bit of faith that this might just work for me. Because if I didn't - I wouldn't be here, posting right now. Trying something new. I would be drinking myself slowly to death and not even trying. But here I am.
Today I will try and practice faith rather than fear. Practice practice.
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God - higher power - whatever you are. Please help me to find faith that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous will work for me. Please remove my fears so that I can move forward from this chapter of my life and carry out your will. Whatever that looks like. I'm willing. Please god, be with me, and please help me to get through this day sober. Amen.
One of these things is not only reading the daily reflection, but writing about it here. Truly thinking about it, what it means to me, and how it applies to my life today. Doing this every day to keep the program in the forefront of my mind. And holding myself accountable for doing it, by posting here.
Feel free to ignore me as I ramble on here, or feel free to contribute if you have any thoughts on the reflection.
I'll probably conclude my daily post with a prayer, as this is something that I struggle with as well....
************************************************
DAY 1 - April 21, 2015:
CULTIVATING FAITH
"I don't think we can do anything very well in this world unless we practice it. And I don't believe we do A.A. too well unless we practice it. . . . We should practice . . . acquiring the spirit of service. We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isn't easily done, especially for the person who has always been very materialistic, following the standards of society today. But I think faith can be acquired; it can be acquired slowly; it has to be cultivated. That was not easy for me, and I assume that it is difficult for everyone else. . . ."
— DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, pp. 307-08
Fear is often the force that prevents me from acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, service, and serenity.
*********************************************
I certainly struggle with faith, and I have been a very fearful individual most of my life. Mostly today, I have this heavy and all-consuming fear that I won't ever experience the spiritual awakening required to recover from alcoholism. I'm afraid of myself. Afraid of the power of my disease and the sudden nature of my relapses. I think that this is a healthy fear, until I allow it to encompass my entire being and hold me hostage. How do I practice faith around this fear?
Well. If I look around the rooms of AA I see people who have "recovered" from alcoholism all around me. People who talk as if they drank like I did. If it can happen for them, it has to be able to happen for me. Why not? What makes me any different? I guess I need to just keep reminding myself of that. This can work. This can work for ME.
Practicing faith for me is sooo difficult right now. I guess that's why it says we need to practice practice to get better.
I do know that I must have a little bit of hope left somewhere inside - a little bit of faith that this might just work for me. Because if I didn't - I wouldn't be here, posting right now. Trying something new. I would be drinking myself slowly to death and not even trying. But here I am.
Today I will try and practice faith rather than fear. Practice practice.
*************************************************
God - higher power - whatever you are. Please help me to find faith that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous will work for me. Please remove my fears so that I can move forward from this chapter of my life and carry out your will. Whatever that looks like. I'm willing. Please god, be with me, and please help me to get through this day sober. Amen.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
When I came into AA I had no faith. I guess you might say that I still don't, because what I have now is knowledge. It's a knowledge from a spiritual experience that has left no room for doubt.
I was challenged by someone who told me I had never sought God, and that I had never really looked intensely and with a truly open mind. That challenge sent me on a search which involved the study of many of the worlds religions. That search (in combination with the steps) culminated in that spiritual experience.
I believe that what you find is directly related to how you search.
You might want to take a look at "The Varieties of Religious Experience" by William James. It was BTW, one of the earliest books Bill W. read around the time he first got sober. One of several different formats of the (free) book can be downloaded here. The Varieties of Religious Experience: A Study in Human Nature by William James - Free Ebook
All the best to you.
I was challenged by someone who told me I had never sought God, and that I had never really looked intensely and with a truly open mind. That challenge sent me on a search which involved the study of many of the worlds religions. That search (in combination with the steps) culminated in that spiritual experience.
I believe that what you find is directly related to how you search.
You might want to take a look at "The Varieties of Religious Experience" by William James. It was BTW, one of the earliest books Bill W. read around the time he first got sober. One of several different formats of the (free) book can be downloaded here. The Varieties of Religious Experience: A Study in Human Nature by William James - Free Ebook
All the best to you.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I think many are looking for the burning bush experience. Although a few people have this most of us fall into the category of trudging the road to happy destiny. I have to look at most things in sobriety through the rearview mirror. I do not think I am changing at all but then I look backward I know I am not the person I was before. This is especially true of my spirituality.
Through out my recovery I acted like a spoiled child. I want what I want and I want it NOW! For me I practice connecting with my higher power daily. Some days seem to go well others not. In terms of fear I am the cowardly lion ..... I scare myself.
Thank God for the line, "Spiritual progress not spiritual perfection." I try to do what I need to do on a daily basis and hope God will move me down the road.
Through out my recovery I acted like a spoiled child. I want what I want and I want it NOW! For me I practice connecting with my higher power daily. Some days seem to go well others not. In terms of fear I am the cowardly lion ..... I scare myself.
Thank God for the line, "Spiritual progress not spiritual perfection." I try to do what I need to do on a daily basis and hope God will move me down the road.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi M. I did the same yesterday (I usually only do it in my personal journal so this was usual for me to do on here). I put it over in the 12-step support section though, as the daily reflection and other daily AA stuff is put up in there.
This was what I wrote....
Yes. Fear also feeds and fosters resentments and anger. Fear is like one of those little wide-eyed innocent kids who secretly bully the f**k out of half the kids in the class, both big and little; have blackmailed the other half; and yet still sneakily manages to elicit sympathy from all the adults with their simpering ways.
I have recently started to use a prayer based on some things that Mother Theresa said about being fearful of how others will react if you are kind, honest, happy, do things for others, do your best, etc. as part of my daily prayers in the morning. I call it my 'Anyway Prayer'. I pray that I will continue to practice these things anyway. At first it will be DESPITE the fear. Hopefully, as time passes and I cultivate my faith, the fear and defensiveness will pass and, for example, honesty will be as natural to me as lying had / has become to me.
God, help me to remember that people may be unreasonable and self-centred. Let me forgive them anyway.
Help me to accept that if I am kind, people may accuse me of ulterior motives. And let me be kind anyway.
Help me to accept that if I find happiness, people may be jealous. And let me be happy anyway.
Help me accept that the good I do today may be forgotten tomorrow. And let me do good anyway.
God, help me to accept that I may give the world my best and it may never be enough. And let me give my best anyway,
God help me to remember that it is between you and me. And it was never about me and them anyway.
Good luck with those fears. x
This was what I wrote....
Yes. Fear also feeds and fosters resentments and anger. Fear is like one of those little wide-eyed innocent kids who secretly bully the f**k out of half the kids in the class, both big and little; have blackmailed the other half; and yet still sneakily manages to elicit sympathy from all the adults with their simpering ways.
I have recently started to use a prayer based on some things that Mother Theresa said about being fearful of how others will react if you are kind, honest, happy, do things for others, do your best, etc. as part of my daily prayers in the morning. I call it my 'Anyway Prayer'. I pray that I will continue to practice these things anyway. At first it will be DESPITE the fear. Hopefully, as time passes and I cultivate my faith, the fear and defensiveness will pass and, for example, honesty will be as natural to me as lying had / has become to me.
God, help me to remember that people may be unreasonable and self-centred. Let me forgive them anyway.
Help me to accept that if I am kind, people may accuse me of ulterior motives. And let me be kind anyway.
Help me to accept that if I find happiness, people may be jealous. And let me be happy anyway.
Help me accept that the good I do today may be forgotten tomorrow. And let me do good anyway.
God, help me to accept that I may give the world my best and it may never be enough. And let me give my best anyway,
God help me to remember that it is between you and me. And it was never about me and them anyway.
Good luck with those fears. x
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 809
Day 2 - April 22, 2015
NEW SOIL . . . NEW ROOTS
Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity, as I have excellent reason to know. Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic under- brush, will hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 173
I came to A.A. green-a seedling quivering with exposed taproots. It was for survival but it was a beginning. I stretched, developed, twisted, but with the help of others, my spirit eventually burst up from the roots. I was free. I acted, withered, went inside, prayed, acted again, understood anew, as one moment of perception struck. Up from my roots, spirit-arms lengthened into strong, green shoots: high-springing servants stepping skyward.
Here on earth God unconditionally continues the legacy of higher love. My A.A. life put me "on a different footing . . . [my] roots grasped a new soil" ( Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 12)
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OK. Well, firstly I suppose this reading brings me hope. I am definitely a quivering seedling coming back to sobriety this time. To think about my roots & spirit arms lengthening brings me hope.
I'm thinking about "moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity" and what they might have meant when they said that. I wonder if I couldn't replace the word "perception" with "acceptance". If I am in perception that I don't have the power to control/change most things, that there is a loving, guiding force at work, this perception will lead me to feel acceptance, leading to spiritual serenity.
Good post for today anyways.
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God, Higher Power, whatever is up there. Please help me to see the light, to continue to have hope in the program of AA and faith in you. Help me to grow my spiritual roots, to extend my spiritual branches, to become closer to you. Please be with me throughout this day and help me to remain sober. For all of the gifts you have given me, I give my sincerest thanks. Amen.
NEW SOIL . . . NEW ROOTS
Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity, as I have excellent reason to know. Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic under- brush, will hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 173
I came to A.A. green-a seedling quivering with exposed taproots. It was for survival but it was a beginning. I stretched, developed, twisted, but with the help of others, my spirit eventually burst up from the roots. I was free. I acted, withered, went inside, prayed, acted again, understood anew, as one moment of perception struck. Up from my roots, spirit-arms lengthened into strong, green shoots: high-springing servants stepping skyward.
Here on earth God unconditionally continues the legacy of higher love. My A.A. life put me "on a different footing . . . [my] roots grasped a new soil" ( Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 12)
*******************************************
OK. Well, firstly I suppose this reading brings me hope. I am definitely a quivering seedling coming back to sobriety this time. To think about my roots & spirit arms lengthening brings me hope.
I'm thinking about "moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity" and what they might have meant when they said that. I wonder if I couldn't replace the word "perception" with "acceptance". If I am in perception that I don't have the power to control/change most things, that there is a loving, guiding force at work, this perception will lead me to feel acceptance, leading to spiritual serenity.
Good post for today anyways.
************************************************** *****'
God, Higher Power, whatever is up there. Please help me to see the light, to continue to have hope in the program of AA and faith in you. Help me to grow my spiritual roots, to extend my spiritual branches, to become closer to you. Please be with me throughout this day and help me to remain sober. For all of the gifts you have given me, I give my sincerest thanks. Amen.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,615
Sounds like a great way to start the day. How we start the day seems to be a big factor in continuing sobriety
Equally important for me was the lesson P13/14, that faith without works is dead.
Equally important for me was the lesson P13/14, that faith without works is dead.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 809
Day 3 - April 23, 2015
A.A. IS NOT A CURE-ALL
It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all, even for alcoholism.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 285
In my early years of sobriety I was full of pride, thinking that A.A. was the only source of treatment for a good and happy life. It certainly was the basic ingredient for my sobriety and even today, with over twelve years in the program, I am very involved in meetings, sponsorship and service. During the first four years of my recovery, I found it necessary to seek professional help, since my emotional health was extremely poor. There are those folks too, who have found sobriety and happiness in other organizations. A.A. taught me that I had a choice: to go to any lengths to enhance my sobriety. A.A. may not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living.
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Hmmm. Yeah - I guess I don't have alot to say about this today... I know AA isn't a cure all... I need to address outside issues with outside help etc. etc.... I see a shrink. I get it.
Truth is, I've been skipping meetings all week. When I read "A.A. may not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living." it reminds me that I've been slacking. I know AA & meetings need to be front and center in my life, especially in early sobriety. Thankfully - I have a weekend filled with AA related events coming up. I need my butt kicked back into shape.
************************************************** *************************
God, please remove my obsession to drink & use today. Please help me to hold on to my desperation and motivation to stay sober. Please be with me today in everything I do. Amen.
A.A. IS NOT A CURE-ALL
It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all, even for alcoholism.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 285
In my early years of sobriety I was full of pride, thinking that A.A. was the only source of treatment for a good and happy life. It certainly was the basic ingredient for my sobriety and even today, with over twelve years in the program, I am very involved in meetings, sponsorship and service. During the first four years of my recovery, I found it necessary to seek professional help, since my emotional health was extremely poor. There are those folks too, who have found sobriety and happiness in other organizations. A.A. taught me that I had a choice: to go to any lengths to enhance my sobriety. A.A. may not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living.
************************************************** *************
Hmmm. Yeah - I guess I don't have alot to say about this today... I know AA isn't a cure all... I need to address outside issues with outside help etc. etc.... I see a shrink. I get it.
Truth is, I've been skipping meetings all week. When I read "A.A. may not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living." it reminds me that I've been slacking. I know AA & meetings need to be front and center in my life, especially in early sobriety. Thankfully - I have a weekend filled with AA related events coming up. I need my butt kicked back into shape.
************************************************** *************************
God, please remove my obsession to drink & use today. Please help me to hold on to my desperation and motivation to stay sober. Please be with me today in everything I do. Amen.
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