Pouncer

Hello!

Tonight is going to be a struggle. Two kids, work, messy house, grumpy everyone...you get the point. Every time I have relapsed, I did it on a night my husband had to work all day and came home around midnight. Today is the first night of his week-long stint and I am home alone.

Pull up a chair, a bean bag and fun stories, cause I'm here to party - sober. Most of all, if you are struggling right now, please join me in this thread and share your thoughts. We can all help each other.

Pouncer

Dee74

I'll be around Pouncer

D

doggonecarl

I'll join you, but I'm not struggling. I have not drank in over four and a half years and haven't had serious cravings in over two. And I wish for you the same. The blessings of sobriety.

Just remember your post of two days ago. Go back and read it. That's what drinking does.

TroyW

Ok, how about some round robin questions? Would that help at all, or not really?

How was your day?

What's your dream in life?

If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would it be?

immri

I'm here too Pouncer 1030am in my day off here, rocky day for me too, so il be here all day
You'll get through it!!

Anna

Pouncer, you can get through this night. And, then the next time will be easier for you.

Pouncer

I am not remembering that. Do you mean when I slipped last week, or the scenario I described yesterday of a person's attempt to moderate gone bad?

Thanks for hanging out.

Pouncer

After I read your post I decided to do this. I really did not want you to do what I did a week ago. That was a bad idea and it didn't really work out for me. I don't remember much of the night, but I vaguely remember the gushing water from the toilet when I fell over and cracked the top part of the basin to bits. Not too glamorous, is it?

I composed a response to your post, with a link to this thread, but somehow it got eaten up and disappeared. I am glad you're here!

Pouncer

Okay, I'll bite...

1 - It was mediocre-ish. I had some bad moments but I got through it by deep breathing. Thanks for asking!

2- To be happy in my career.

3- Yellowstone (I have been to many national parks, but sadly not Yellowstone).

What about you?

TroyW

1. Meh, same as every other day, except the shakes I experienced earlier.

2. To have a relationship like my mom's parents had (RIP). I remember being a kid visiting them -- I always thought it was cute as hell that my 65yo grandpa would pat his wife on the ass, and tell her how gorgeous she was. It was obvious, they totally loved each other from the day they met until the day they died.

3. Montevideo, Uruguay, then travel around south america for a few years, before settling back down in Canada. That's the plan at least. I figure in a few years my parents should be old enough to begin having health problems, so will settle down close to them, help out, and that will be the end of my world travels for probably 15+ years.

immri

Thanks Pouncer im glad you started this thread

Elseware

Hi Pouncer! I had a few rough days this last week myself. I'm better now. Made it through and you will, too. It helps so much to have a place like SR to go where you will not be judged. I know you're going to be ok. My temptation came out of the blue and I thought it out. Thought about where it could (would) lead. Did I really want to do this? The answer was NO, a hundred times NO. This will pass for you. Give it some time to go through you and out. It will. Love, Elseware

Della1968

That's an awesome story about your Grandparents Troy.

HoosierFarmer

Sending positive vibes your way, Pouncer. I feel simpatico with your journey since we joined SR around the same time.

Latte

I'm here. SO and I are deep in NCIS DVD's. I work a physically demanding job and it's such a great way for me to relax.

I clean houses for people just like you. Thumbtack.com It's just me so I have a low overhead and there are a lot of people just like me who can come in, and in just a few short hours do some simple tasks to make your life easier. I'm not making any money off of telling you about this. I've just been where you are and now, on the other end, I really enjoy being able to help people like you out. I just did it the other night-family with three kids, husband works long hours and wife goes to school 3x a week. They had a bug go through the house and were all exhausted. I didn't know until I got there, but she is in recovery herself. The look of relief when I left and her house was clean. She and her family watched TV and visited while I cleaned. I love to do that for women, or anyone-but especially for women who are stressed and taking care of themselves.

thomas11

Great idea Pouncer for starting a thread to get you through. It'll be a piece of cake. Can we order Pizza?

Pouncer

It really helps to have non-judgmental place. I got rrrrreally depressed a few days ago after (stupidly) reading comment from a story about a celebrity who got sober. It was horrible. I can understand people not feeling sorry for alcoholics, but saying that someone who was over 5 years sober was (still) a drain on society, immoral and he and all other alcoholics should just commit suicide to rid the world of all alcoholics and addicts...? Yada yada.

I suppose I am proactively trying to prevent a relapse. I am not craving alcohol right now. In fact, I am off to pour the last bottle of hard liquor in the sink. I told my husband to get rid of it, but he still hasn't.

Incontrol15

This is awesome.
There are many triggers and events that I'll have to overcome. Many I know, many I'll be surprised by. The more I prepare and anticipate, the better. But it helps to have a go-to for the surprise triggers. Reading / posting / sharing is a great one!

Congrats to you!

Pouncer

Does anyone want to do another round robin and share their triggers? You might have some that I never thought of and affect me too.

Elseware

My triggers are sometimes when I'm feeling good. I want to feel even better. Live it up a little. Sometimes I'll sit and think of the pleasure of alcohol or opiates slipping over me like warm chocolate sauce, this is VERY bad and a real trigger so if my mind goes there, I listen to music or read a sexy novel. Or go find my husband and kiss and hug him. Or sometimes I exercise. This gets those endorphins going a little

Other triggers are when I feel overwhelmed with anxiety. To much to do and not enough energy to do it. Getting high gives me energy at the beginning. I deal with this by saying "NO" much more often than I ever did before. It's dangerous for me to get over tired. Sometimes people don't like it when I say no to them and I've had to learn to deal with other people's being "mad" at me. This was uncomfortable for a very long time and still is. I'm learning to tolerate it, and rest when I need it.

What is NOT a trigger for me is a crisis situation. I'm great when the going gets rough. It's the day to day boring reality that will bring on the niggling to get high.

To much disorder around my house is another one. I am learning to be careful about picking up after myself and everyone else if it comes to that, because I really can't stand big messy houses around me. That's when some of the overwhelming anxiety can slip in. I need very much to keep up with cleaning up my environment.

So that's some of my things